Aethereal Dreams

Maturity

2012-02-17T21:27:00.000+08:00

An impulsive fangirl would book a ticket for the first flight out to Singapore tomorrow morning and scavenge for a ticket for Singapore's Super Show 4 immediately so that she could see her beloved babies in concert before some of them enlist for the army (in particular her bias, who is also the eldest in the group T.T)

A more mature, thinking adult has the same impulses, but knows how to rationalise things and convince herself that no, you can't do that because you have other obligations waiting for you AND you have to finish your godforsaken report.

I suddenly feel oh-so-old for saying that. Please don't make me regret for missing out on this opportunity to watch the boys live. For that, give me Super Show 4 in Malaysia :(((((

Thought for the Day, Sunday Edition

2012-02-12T20:03:00.001+08:00

Medical students need a great deal of stamina to get through our studies. Mainly because there's attachments at hospitals and then a whole bunch of classes to go for. And then you would also require the stamina to balance your studies with your social life.

Training for our future profession? Perhaps. But still.

I'm exhausted. The lack of sleep is taking a toll on me.

Decision of the Day

2012-02-10T23:12:00.000+08:00

I should minimise on the use of epitaphs while writing. I will only use it when absolutely necessary.

(Yes I'm still continuing with this series of decisions/thoughts, lol. Popping it in once in a while.)

That Someone Is You - Chapter 11

2012-02-07T13:30:00.000+08:00

Author's Notes:
I feel so uninspired these days OTL I'm sorry
I also apologise for the conversation overload.

..｡.:*:.｡..｡.:*:.｡..

11

Hyukjae had a happy grin plastered on his face as he walked down the familiar hallways leading from his lecture hall. It had been close to a week since he had been able to attend classes like a normal student, all thanks to his manager Seunghwan who had pushed for the directors of the company to give the boy some leeway.

He couldn’t thank the older man enough for his efforts.

As he stopped to give some giggly juniors an autograph, Hyukjae tried his best to prevent his smile from faltering. It wasn’t because he begrudged the others for disturbing his rare period of normalcy, however. There was a bunch of students who were gossiping about him in a too-loud voice in the distance, all doubting his intentions in returning to university.

”He must want to ass-kiss the professors into giving him a passing grade,” one of them had said.

Another agreed, commenting that, “Either that, or he’s putting up a false image of a good university-going idol for the tabloids to pick up.” The girl’s friends all cackled at that.

On his side of the room, Hyukjae forcefully swallowed the bile that rose in his throat.

He felt wronged by such comments, especially when uttered by people who knew absolutely nothing about him except for how he goofs off on national television. He was even tempted to walk up to them, to tell them that being able to attend classes normally was a luxury to him. He wanted to make it stick in their heads that not every student is as pretentious as they are when it comes to seeking knowledge.

Nevertheless, his juniors shook him out of his contemplative state with a bright ‘thank you’ before he could even translate his thoughts into actions.

He nodded shyly at the pair, and decided to walk away from the group who was still spewing vicious accusations, thinking that he couldn’t hear them. It was a part of life for Super Junior’s Eunhyuk, much to his chagrin.

Nothing he ever does can please every single person from all walks of life in this country. World, perhaps, but he decided to remain down-to-earth. Such was the fate that celebrities had to endure, he reminded himself. After all, he was the one who had chosen this path.

Feeling slightly suffocated by the conversation he had overheard, and from his own thoughts, Hyukjae reached for the nearest exit. He felt much more relaxed when he stepped into the open space, where the spring air wafted with the fragrance of blooming flowers. He pulled his coat on, however, as the temperature was still low.

Hyukjae nodded and waved at girls who called after him in the distance, proceeding with the fanservicing. Although he was tempted to ignore the fans when he assumed the role of Lee Hyukjae, rather than Eunhyuk, he knew very well that it was out of the question. At the end of the day, he still had an image to keep.

He vaguely wondered how this would all change when their new album gets released, and the concerns whether the album sales would do well surfaced. It didn’t help at all that he had a bunch of other things to think about with regards to his group.

Heaving a resigned sigh, Hyukjae decided to head to his favourite location instead. He had hoped to see a certain Shin Seohyeon at her usual spot, but even though he had been frequenting the waterfront since the day he had returned to the campus, she was never around.

He was beginning to have negative thoughts about the situation.

However, Hyukjae slowly came to a stop as he arrived at the scenic location. The gummy smile found its way to his expression, and he exhaled in relief.

The anticipated scene was back.

* * * * *

Seohyeon sighed as she scratched out another misspelled word on her paper, before planting her pen in the creases of the open page in a frustrated manner. Regardless of how hard she tried to focus on the work at hand, she couldn’t.

Her mind was filled with anxious thoughts, wondering whether a certain someone would show up today. She knew she had disappeared from the waterfront for a couple of days, but she didn’t want to leave an impression that she had abandoned her favourite hangout. She had even promised the man that he would be able to find her here.

Of course, she begrudged her father, who had ordered someone to haul her back to Pohang after finding out about her less-than-stellar test results. She had been given an earful (understatement of the millennium) for that, then chucked back to the university grounds just that morning. As if it’s my fault for having to enrol in a course that I utterly dislike…

Seohyeon glanced up from her notebook when a pair of footsteps stopped right next to her. She smiled when she realised who it was, scooting over in order to make some seating space for the man. The man gladly accepted the gesture, and plopped down on the wooden planks in a laid-back manner.

“Hey, superstar. Haven’t seen you around in a while,” Seohyeon greeted. From the corner of her eye, she noticed how the man stiffened at her words. Hmm.

“I’ve been coming here for the past week,” he said nonchalantly, as if he knew that she hadn’t been showing up. “Anyway, what’s up with that term?” he then asked, completely masking the fact that he had been bothered by it just a couple of seconds ago.

“I’ve been… busy,” she answered noncommittally, hoping that he wouldn’t delve into details. “But you are a superstar, aren’t you, Eunhyuk-sshi?”

The blood practically drained from his face at the mention of his stage name. “You found out,” he replied plainly.

“Did you intend to keep this a secret?” Seohyeon asked innocently. “Because I’ve been hearing stories about you giving out autographs along the corridors. Your fans in university seem to be happy enough.”

“Not really, no,” he shook his head. “But this isn’t something you’d say outright on the first conversation with someone else, is it?”

“True, it’s not.” She concurred with a smile.

“I really had no intentions in hiding this from you, you know,” Hyukjae said again. “I assumed that you had no idea who I was since you were acting pretty…” He paused to think. “… abnormal.”

This time, Seohyeon laughed and proceeded to stuff her notebook into her bag. “Abnormal, because I don’t fawn over you like a hormonal teenager? That’s a first.”

Hyukjae saluted her. “This is really new.”

“What is?” she enquired with large, watery eyes, evidently confused.

“Someone speaking about my fans in such a manner. I mean, there must be other people who would criticise their actions, but I haven’t really come across someone who dishes out their opinions like you do, in my face no less,” he clarified, hoping that Seohyeon didn’t take it the wrong way.

“I’m sorry. Are you upset?” The girl asked cautiously, eyeing him in a concerned manner.

“Why are you apologising?” Hyukjae laughed. “Everyone’s entitled to their own opinions. And I appreciate it when people are being frank with me, despite knowing my status. I don’t like it when others try too hard to suck up to me.”

Seohyeon exhaled in relief at his reassurance. “You’re different.”

“In what way? I certainly hope that it’s a positive comment.”

“It is,” she replied. “In my mind, celebrities are complete stuck-ups who wouldn’t approach the others unless they’re in front of the cameras, or when they have hidden agendas to establish a relationship.”

“Hmm… Not all of us are like that, though. Some are really nice,” the dancer informed. He had the sudden urge to introduce her to his fellow members, though he dropped the idea as soon as it had formed. It would probably be too overwhelming for her.

“I know. You’re enough proof of that,” Seohyeon smiled warmly. That in itself brought a smile to the man’s face, and when he felt his cheeks burn up in embarrassment, he quickly turned away.

Clearing his throat, Hyukjae said earnestly, “Thank you for your vote of confidence. Many people seem to think that I carry my on-screen personality all the time, even when I’m trying to blend in with the crowd.”

“Do you?” Seohyeon prompted, earning a shake of the head from the man seated next to her. He dipped his head in the next moment, as though trying to hide his true emotions.

“But what does it matter?” he asked, voice thick with frustration. “No one cares to know me well enough before passing judgements. I’ve learned to just keep my mouth shut and pretend that I’m fine; pretend that I don’t hear them.”

Hyukjae glanced up, expressions surprised, when he felt Seohyeon’s soft touch on his arm. He flashed a wry smile at her when he noticed her concern.

“You’re over generalising,” she admonished, though the sincerity was reflected clearly in her brilliant dark brown eyes. “I’m not going to judge you because of your profession. I’m not going to be a part of ‘everyone else’ in your life. Would you give me the opportunity to get to know you?”

The dancer felt his cheeks burning up even more than before at Seohyeon’s words. He didn’t exactly know why, but his heart did a joyful flip as he locked his gaze with hers. This was the first time that anyone – apart from Shin-il and a few of his classmates – had told him outright that they wanted to look past the mask that is Eunhyuk and see who Lee Hyukjae actually was.

“If you’re not afraid of getting hounded by some jealous girls–” Hyukjae therefore started, then threw a glance over his shoulder at the direction of the park, where some students were ogling not-so-discreetly in their direction. He subconsciously shifted his position to shield Seohyeon from view, and turned to look at her again. “–I would be more than honoured.”

“That’s great, then!” she clapped cheerfully. “You better not make an attempt to run away from me, though. I’m a pretty persistent person when I put my mind to it.”

“I can see that,” Hyukjae laughed, his eyes crinkling with amusement. “But that’s enough about me for today. Let’s talk about you instead.”

“Me?” Seohyeon pointed at herself, genuinely surprised by his move. “My life’s boring; it doesn’t really warrant a conversation to be built out of it.”

Hyukjae frowned at her. “Wouldn’t it be a one-sided friendship if all we discuss about is me? Come on, everyone has an interesting aspect to their lives to tell.”

In the end, Seohyeon merely sighed in resignation when she realised that there was no way she could outtalk the man. She smiled. “I’m not that good at initiating self-introduction sessions, so why don’t you start off with a question?”

That had Hyukjae pursing his lips in thought. When he managed to formulate an enquiry, his face brightened up like a child receiving cookies as a reward. “Let’s start with how you managed to find out about my identity!” he quipped, earning a stifled laugh from Seohyeon.

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about yourself? And isn’t it the norm to ask where I hail from and my age and such?”

“Demographic data can come later,” he wagged his finger at her, a smug smile plastered on his lips. “Also, the topic isn’t necessarily about me. I’m not trying to be narcissistic, but there should be a larger proportion of the population who can recognise my face these days.”

“I’m one of the rare ones, then,” Seohyeon smiled, but there was something behind that smile that told Hyukjae something wasn’t quite right. It had a tint of sadness and inner conflict.

His face fell slightly at the realisation. “Are there any specific reasons? You don’t enjoy listening to music?” he asked, voice taking a softer intonation.

“It’s not that,” she shook her head and played with her own fingers. “I’m not exactly allowed to have any form of enjoyment at home. Not even music. I can only listen to music when I’m out of the house.”

“That’s ridic–” Hyukjae began, but he was cut off mid-sentence Seohyeon’s phone started ringing. She shot him an apologetic look, which was further amplified after she had answered the call.

“Is something wrong?” Hyukjae asked again, his expressions worried. His gaze followed Seohyeon as she pulled herself up without saying a word.

“I’m sorry, but I’ll have to cut our conversation short today,” she said, as the blush crept to her cheeks. “I have a date to turn up for.”

* * * * *

The pair went on a quiet stroll under the moonlight, neither finding the need to say anything. They were contented with the peaceful silence that enveloped them, save for the occasional chirping of crickets coming from the bushes.

When the man noticed how the girl next to him was shivering slightly and rubbing her palms against her arms to generate heat, he paused in his steps and removed his jacket. She smiled gratefully when he covered her small frame with the clothing article, snuggling deeper into the fabric to keep herself warm.

“Thank you for such a great night out, Shin-il sunbae,” she said in a low voice, casting a shy glance at the man who had a smile on his face.

“It’s my pleasure. I should be the one thanking you for coming out with me on such short notice,” he replied, though he kept his gaze trained on her. Seohyeon blushed at the attention, and quickly looked at the dark skies above them, pretending that she was gazing at the moon.

A few more moments of silence ensued before Seohyeon found the courage to speak up again. “You look pensive tonight. Is there something on your mind?”

Seohyeon was surprised when Shin-il suddenly took hold of her hands, and turned her around so that she was facing him. “I– oh God this is going to be embarrassing,” he chuckled nervously.

She quirked an eyebrow at him, wondering why he was acting in such a fidgety manner. It was a large contrast with the way he usually carried himself. “What’s wrong, Shin-il sunbae? You’re being really weird tonight.”

“I know, I’m sorry. But look, this means a great deal for me, and I’m trying not to mess things up,” Shin-il smiled wryly, one of his hands headed for the nape of his neck before it returned to its original position on Seohyeon’s hands.

“With your usual confidence level, you wouldn’t ever screw things up,” she giggled. “So just go ahead and tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Promise you won’t ignore me after this?”

Seohyeon chuckled again, then nodded her head demurely.

Shin-il inhaled deeply, muttering ‘here goes nothing’ to himself before locking his gaze with Seohyeon. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

The Sacred Oath

2012-02-04T11:30:00.000+08:00

I think I must've been hearing too much talk about engagements and marriages, and have been passing by too many bridal shops for my own good, because I suddenly dreamt about my own wedding ceremony yesterday night.

No, the groom wasn't Jungsoo (surprised? I am perfectly capable of thinking about other men apart from my idols, thank you very much!), but it was a handsome face which I don't recognise. Super tall too.

Is this my inner desire projecting into my dreams? Because I'd definitely not mind a guy of his calibre! Unfortunately mental images can't be converted into a photo like the one you see on the right, otherwise I could've shown you how my 'husband' looks like.

Anyway, I won't be going into detail about my dreams, mainly because I can't remember half of it anyway after heading back to bed earlier. I assure you, it was a grand thing which spanned to include my preparation stages, lol!

Now talking about marriages, those who know me well would probably know that I'm not an advocate for early marriages. I would very much prefer to have a degree and a stable job in hand before I think about all this relationship hoo-ha, but having worked in the wards during my clinical postings, I'm beginning to think that looking for an ideal partner once I enter the workforce is particularly... bleak. I'm not saying that there's a lack of candidates out there, really. It's quite the contrary. However, you'd have to take the relationship status of these 'candidates' into mind.

And well, most of them are either in a relationship or are already engaged.

Ah, this is a difficult thing to do, lol! It's also sad that there's not much of a choice of guys in my college. Hmmph. Suddenly wishing that I pursued my studies overseas instead.

Just kidding.

Oh, about those bridal boutiques. I pass them by on a weekly basis, considering how SS2 is littered with such shops on both sides of the road. Since I'm a person who likes doing window shopping, I would often find myself staring at the wedding gowns on display. I can't, and won't deny that there's a desire to put them on, however. Any girl would like to put on a nice dress, wouldn't they?

Okay, enough about this marriage talk before anyone thinks that I'm desperate to get married, because I'm not. Seriously.

Thought of the Day, Friday Edition.

2012-02-03T18:25:00.002+08:00

It would be nice if people dropped me a notice saying that they've recommended my stories to someone else. Makes me feel better and relieved that someone is actually still reading.

Haha, this is me admitting that I'm losing confidence in my own writing.

Thought of the Day

2012-02-02T17:59:00.003+08:00

I should probably stop abusing the thesaurus.

Trip to Tanjung Rambutan

2012-02-01T22:47:00.003+08:00

If you don't follow me on Twitter, or did not add me as a friend of Facebook - or perhaps you don't really care to begin with but whatever floats your boat - you probably wouldn't have known that I had paid a trip to Tanjung Rambutan. It's actually a locality in Malaysia (for those of you who are from other countries /waves at you/), but it houses what is probably the most stigmatised hospital in the entire country - a mental institution. Now of course, there are 3 other mental institutions in whole of Malaysia, but this could be considered the most famous one around.

Surely a lot of people would associate psychiatric patients with Hospital Bahagia, no?

Anyway, when I talk about a mental institution, I'm pretty certain that a vast majority of you would automatically think of white, padded rooms with one small window and nothing else for the patients to live in. Something like the padded cell depicted in the photo on the right. (I know because my sister asked me the very same question - blame the movies, really!)

Despite the fact that I don't have any photos from Hospital Bahagia, or the Psychiatric Wards in HKL (where I'm currently posted at for at least three more weeks) - well, photography is forbidden on the hospital grounds - I can pretty much assure you that this is not the case. In fact, listening to the talks given by Dr. C, the community psychiatric specialist, and Dr R, the Hospital Director, I was actually amazed by the structure that governs the hospital. The wards aren't very much different from the usual wards you would step into, perhaps only the glaring lack of bedside tables or anything that can be potentially used as a weapon by the patients like mugs and stuff near their beds.

And in case you're thinking that the patients are restrained in straitjackets......well then you're wrong again. Like I said, they're treated like any other patients, and are given the freedom to walk around in the wards. Of course, the main doors to the wards are protected, but really, it's almost close to normal in there. (Sadly I can't say the same for the patients.. haha. I am in a Psychiatric Ward after all!)

I can safely say that I really enjoyed the trip to HBUK today, and I'm glad that we were given the opportunity to do so, even visiting the Forensic Ward where... patients are detained under the Ruler's Pleasure and such. Go figure. It's a rare chance as well - probably the only time I'd step in there in this lifetime of mine.

I'd like to maintain, however, that the social stigma on patients with psychiatric disorders (or mental illness, as it is more commonly known) should be destroyed. Honestly, having 'worked' in the psychiatric ward for the past three weeks or so, I found that each patient I talked to has a story of their own to tell, which eventually led to different disorders. Obviously I'm not going to divulge any of those details here since I have to maintain a degree of confidentiality; but the point is, these patients need help. Not only literally in the sense of giving medications and psychotherapy, but also support from their own family members, friends, and the society they live in. It's sad, you know, seeing patients cry over how their family don't give two shits about them just because they were diagnosed with a mental illness.

So yeah, I guess we still have ways to go before we achieve that point where no one would stigmatise people with psychiatric disorders. Even I have to remind myself constantly that I should not look at my patients in a different light and treat them in a different manner.

Bonjour

2012-01-30T22:43:00.003+08:00

I'm still around. I'm just a wee bit lazy to be all philosophical.

Yeah, you've probably guessed it. One week of classes is more than enough to burn me out. I don't think I have much of a brain capacity to think of something to blog about when I come home exhausted every single day. And in case you didn't know, my classes started again on the 3rd day of Chinese New Year - but that's an entirely different topic to talk about. Wait for Chap Goh Meh, haha!

I'm going to Tanjung Rambutan tomorrow. I'm not even kidding.

For what? Now here's another guessing game for you :)

Tainted Crimson - Chapter 2

2012-01-30T22:43:00.001+08:00

Shecrashed onto the bed once she had stormed into her room and slammed her doorshut – her way of telling her father that she didn't want to be disturbed atall. She could hear the muffled discussion and slight raising of voices comingfrom below, evidence that her mother had been stirred from her sleep as aresult of Carmen’s heated discussion with her father, and was coaxing her fathernot to do anything to her.

Onceagain, she found large, fat tears rolling down her face, feeling frustratedthat her parents – most significantly her father – couldn't place an ounce oftrust in her. True, she has screwed up her life in the past, but she was tryinghard to get her life back on track. She was trying, but they weren't helping bybringing her down time and again whenever she laid out her plans. To think thatthey were supposed to be the ones who were the closest to her, yet her friendswhich she had made at the bar supported her even more despite not being relatedby blood to her.

Herparents told her she was wasting her time, in spite of her intentions tofurther her studies when she had managed to collect enough money. Although herparents had offered to put her through university – they didn't want her towork in the downtown bar in fear that she would get herself knocked up again,even though she had reassured them time and again that she would take good careof herself from then on – Carmen wanted to support her own life on her ownefforts. Arguments spiralled because of that, neither party willing to give into their prides.

Guessat least there was something that proved that they were truly related by blood.

Decidingthat there was no point brooding over the matter any longer, especially consideringthe fact that this was a recurrent problem; Carmen dragged herself off the bedand pulled on her night dress without bothering to wash up. She had learnedfrom experience that her father would wait in lay outside her room, hunting forthe opportunity to give her an earful for her insolent attitude.

Sheclimbed into bed and forced her tired mind to rest, thinking about how there'sno way in hell she'd step out of her bedroom any longer, at least for thenight. She definitely didn’t need to perform more tearful screaming to get herpoint across tonight.

Itdidn't take her much of an effort to finally fall asleep.

** * * *

Itseemed like only minutes since she had drifted off to sleep, but Carmen shot toconsciousness when the sound of her window crashing into pieces was registeredin her senses. Nevertheless, no matter what she did, she couldn’t open her mouthnor move a single muscle when that happened.

Shewas literally pinned onto the bed by an unknown force, not even able to openher eyes. There was a dull pain, accompanied by something – needles? – piercingthrough the skin of her neck, causing the fear to immediately start coursing throughher veins. What the hell was going on?!

Bareseconds later, she could feel the skin of her neck being punctured by somethingsharp again, causing a pain to fire through her nerves before dying away. Theblood ran through her veins in a velocity that was way beyond normal, and thestrength slowly left her.

Inher daze, Carmen could hear some rather loud banging against her door,accompanied by her father shouting for her to unlock it, and her mother askingwhat was going on inside. The fear was evident in the latter’s voice. She,however, couldn't even find her voice, despite the conscious feeling that herlips were permanently parted in a gasp. She continued to struggle against theinvisible force, thinking that she had succeeded in doing so for a fleetingmovement before it returned, pressing down on her body once again.

Yetthis second pressure was different from the first – lighter, slightly warmer –but still rendered her immobilised. Someone whispered something that shecouldn't even understand because she had literally completely lost all of herstrength and ability to comprehend anything else by then, but she could feelher lips moving numbly on their own accord. What she answered, she honestlydidn't know. There was also a new sensation that was registered in her head; astinging pain that radiated from the direction of her wrist.

Secondslater, a salty liquid with a slight metallic taste seeped past her tinglinglips, pouring down her throat and sinking into the pit of her stomach. It was probablyonly her imagination, but the liquid somehow rendered her completely stiff, andthen... nothing.

** * * *

Therewere lots of muffled sobs enveloping her ears when Carmen came to her senses,accompanied by the strong smell of scented candles floating in the air. It wasthe scent she loved the most – lavender – yet she felt perplexed as to whocould possibly have lighted them up. She could be sure that it wasn't herparents as they hated the scent, saying that it gave them a massive headache.

Couldit be her? She really couldn't recall having taken out the scented candles fromher private stash. All she knew was that her head was pounding excessively, andher body remained uncharacteristically numb and stiff. Carmen tried to pushherself up from the soft but confined area which she was apparently lying upon,though she found out that she couldn't even move a finger.

Herexpressions scrunched up into a frown – or at least that was what she thoughthad happened, when a drop of liquid suddenly landed on her face. A warm handwhich Carmen recognised belonged to her mother's, courtesy of the countlesstimes the older woman had slapped her across the face, cupped her cheek, andshe realised that the other woman was sobbing profusely.

Justas she wondered why her mother was crying over her face, the words that leftthe woman's lips moments later explained it all.

"Carmen,why did you have to do this to yourself?" she wailed. Do what? Carmen asked, but still her own voice could merely beheard in her own head. "I'm sorry for not listening to your desires, fornot supporting your plans for your own life... If only we gave you our blessings,you wouldn't have ended up like this..."

Like what? She found herself asking again,suddenly feeling queasy at the turn of events. What could possibly havehappened that her mother had to apologise to her? The woman hadn’t done so inyears, at best. Carmen couldn’t even remember anymore.

"Stopit, Martha," her father's hateful voice rang in Carmen's ears, still steelyas usual, but it also had a tinge of sorrow laced in his tone. "There's nolonger anything that can be done. She's gone..."

Dad, what are you talking about? I'mhere! I'm still here! Carmen struggled uselessly against the invisibleconstraints around her, only to freeze in position when an unfamiliar voice,similar to what she had heard on the previous night, rang in her head.

"Stopdoing that. You're not going to gain anything from it. You won’t be able toreach out to them no matter what you do. Don't make me regret mydecision," it had said, and Carmen felt herself go limp again. Somethingin the voice made her feel compelled to obey it. No, it forced every fibre of her body to listen like an obedient puppy.

"Goodevening, sons and daughters of God," a new voice, belonging to none otherthan the pastor of their town spoke up, and the whole room was rendered silent.There was a short pause, as though he was observing the people in the room,before he continued with what he had wanted to say. "We are gathered heretoday for this sorrowful event, involving none other than Miss Carmen Sanchez.As you may have known, this young lady had been found dead by none other thanher own parents, Mr and Mrs Sanchez late last night, apparently having slit herown wrist and bled to death because of it. We shall observe a moment's silencein remembrance of a fine young lady who had the whole world ahead of her, yetwas ended by such an unfortunate event."

Carmensynthesised the pastor's words in her hurting head, only to be shocked beyondbelief when she realised what he had just said.

What?!

Fragments of a Memory - Chapter 5

2012-01-29T12:00:00.000+08:00

Chapter 05

“Are you sure that your plan is going to work out?” he eyed the other person sceptically, right before they were about to set things in motion. “He’s not stupid, and you can never be sure whether he’s lurking around in your mind at this particular moment.”

“Yes, I am. There’s always a way to make things happen without having to force it,” the woman huffed, narrowing her eyes in a scheming manner. “Anyway, I can’t feel his presence in my mind, so don’t you worry. He loves to play games; what makes you think he wouldn’t be interested in what we’re about to proffer him?”

He considered her words for a moment, before heaving a sigh. “I’ll take your word on this. If his wrath is incurred because of your plans, you’re the one who has to shoulder the responsibility. It’s not as though I can get relegated into positions that are any lower than this.”

“Trust me; he’s not going to suspect anything,” she smiled dangerously, vanishing into the thin air a split second later. Her voice, however, lingered in his ears long after her disappearance. “Watch and learn.”

* * * * *

“Hyunjin, dear, don’t run too fast! You’re going to get hurt!” the woman shouted in distress as she chased after her hyperactive four-year-old son down the streets of Apgujeong. It proved to be a difficult feat for her to accomplish, however, considering that she was clad in a pair of three-inch heels. She was beginning to regret the fact that she had allowed her grip to loosen on the boy’s petite hand.

Her heart stopped when her precious only child knocked into another man who was coming from the opposite direction, sending her son sprawling on the ground. The woman wasted no time in rushing up to the boy, though the man who was involved in the incident bent down to check on her son. She was thankful that he was not upset at Hyunjin for being so careless – some people were far less accommodating.

She hastily mustered her thanks at the man, who stood aside as he watched her fuss over the child when she finally got to the pair. “What did I tell you about sticking close to me, sweetheart?” she chided her son gently. Fishing out a piece of wet tissue from her bag, she started wiping her son’s soot-covered hands and checked his exposed skin for any other abrasions.

“Mummy! My leg hurts!” the boy pouted when he was made to stand, hooking his arms around his mother’s neck. The woman took note of her son’s complaint, wincing when she rolled his pants up. There was a small wound to his right knee which had to be attended to, though she made sure to keep it clean before she had the access to more decent supplies.

“I’ll get this fixed up when we get home, alright?” she therefore cooed, smiling lovingly at her son who had tears in his eyes. The wound evidently stung. “You’re a strong boy aren’t you? I’ll carry you home, so keep those tears in now sweetheart,” she said again, brushing his hair into place.

Hyunjin gave a resilient nod at that, hopping into his mother’s embrace at once. A bright smile took over his features when his mother gave him a peck on the cheek, and soon, he was playing with her platinum necklace as though his injury had never existed.

Once she was sure that her son was pacified, Jin Ri turned to face the man with an apologetic smile on her face. “I’m sorry that my mischievous son caused you so much trouble, sir-” she began, though her expressions froze in place when she took in the sight of the couple who were standing in front of her.

“Don’t worry about it; the little fellow didn’t do much damage anyway,” the man, who was oblivious in the sudden change in atmosphere, offered back with a smile of his own.

It was a smile that made Jin Ri want to tear up, but her hand which was supporting her son reflexively balled up into a tight fist so that she could keep her emotions bottled up.

“Anyway, if the kiddo’s fine now, then I’ll be going on my way,” the man said again moments later, shaking Jin Ri out of her trance-like state. She forced another smile onto her lips as she watched the man ruffle Hyunjin’s hair playfully, bowing gingerly when he bade his goodbye and walked off with a woman whom Jin Ri presumed was his girlfriend.

It took her a few more moments before she was able to compose herself completely, this time finding her son playing with the ends of her long locks. “Let’s go home, shall we?” she offered, only to be replied with a distracted nod from Hyunjin.

As she walked off in the direction of their home, aside from worrying about her son’s wound, there was also another more dominant thought invading her mind.

Did she really just bump into her deceased husband?

* * * * *

“Hey–” Kyuhyun greeted in high spirits the moment he had strolled through the doors of the Super Junior members’ favourite meeting spot – the famous Korean barbeque restaurant in town. However, he wasn’t given the opportunity to finish his sentence, as he was suddenly tugged forward and tackled to the ground before he was even able to register the faces who were already gathered in the room.

“You brat! You’re always making your elders wait for you!” A voice that Kyuhyun recognised belonged to Youngwoon bellowed from above him, making him jump slightly. The younger man didn’t even have to look up to know that the burly man was seated on his back; the volume of the latter’s voice was more than adequate for him to make an estimation.

“I’m sorry! I was–” he started again, only to be interrupted several seconds into his explanation.

“Why have you gained the habit of making a grand entrance like His Excellency?!” Hyukjae’s voice joined in. He heard Jungsoo yelling indignantly in the distance at his long-forgotten nickname, possibly upset that he was suddenly involved in the mess. That was when Kyuhyun felt the hand of someone ruffling his well-gelled hair (he did it for the occasion), and he attempted to struggle out of reach.

It proved to be a difficult task to accomplish with Youngwoon – now joined by Shindong – seated on top of him. He could only squirm uselessly on the floor like a dying bug, with his arms and legs flailing at the sides as he made a lot of grunting noises. Then again, that wasn’t too far off from describing Kyuhyun’s current situation, because it was getting difficult for him to breathe with all the pressure being applied on him.

“Err, guys?” he wheezed. “I understand… that you’re pissed… but could you like… get off my back…? Can’t… breathe…!”

“Yeah boys, cut him some slack, a female voice giggled. “You’re going to end up killing him at this rate.”

Kyuhyun heaved a sigh of relief when his friends caved in to Kyoungmi’s request, and immediately flipped over to lie on his back so that he could take in large amounts of air when the ones who were sitting on top of him finally stood up.

“Jesus, guys, are you trying to murder me? You’re not exactly on the light side, you know?” the maknae of the group sent a scathing scowl at his group members when he managed to catch his breath. However, a dismayed look took over his features when the men merely laughed in response.

“Guys, don’t be too hard on Kyu. It’s been a while since we’ve been able to gather like this after all,” Sungmin, who walked over from his initial position to help his ex-roommate up, chuckled as he said that.

Kyuhyun evidently caught on to it, for he still had a slight frown on his face as Sungmin pulled him up. “Thanks, but you’re not being very convincing, Ming.”

The younger man froze when Sungmin pressed close to him with a dangerous smirk on his face. “I can always release my hold and let you fall onto the ground again, Kyuhyun. Don’t push your luck,” he warned, the happy smile still plastered on his expressions. His smirk grew wider when Kyuhyun muttered a half-hearted apology at him.

Kyuhyun grumbled a bit more under his breath as he straightened himself, muttering something about Sungmin being a devil in disguise, before finally taking in the faces in the room. “I’m sorry again for being late, but like I was trying to explain before Youngwoon hyung and Hyukjae hyung assaulted me–” He flashed a dark look at the abovementioned names, and the men merely stuck out their tongues in response. “–I was caught up with a small mishap on the streets. Had to make sure the kid was okay before I could move on.”

“Aw, since when did you become so considerate?” Henry joked.

“I have always been considerate to others, Henry,” Kyuhyun smiled back amiably. However, his gesture was laced with such acidity that it made the Canadian shudder in response.

“Hyeonmin, you’re uncharacteristically quiet today,” Ryeowook suddenly spoke up, ignoring Kyuhyun’s banter with Henry as he shot a curious look at the girl who took a seat next to Kyuhyun. He realised that she was rather pale that afternoon. “Are you quite alright?”

The woman, who seemed to have been launched back to reality at the question, jumped a little before her eyes focused on the man. “I’m fine, Ryeowook oppa. I’m just a little tired, that’s all,” she smiled slightly, ignoring the questioning look her boyfriend had casted at her.

“Was Kyuhyun keeping you up all night?” Heechul asked, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively. Her cheeks burned when she realised what he meant, and was suddenly in panic mode as she tried to find the right words to say. It really wasn’t too far from the truth, but she wasn’t about to admit it in a room full of her boyfriend’s group members and a couple of their wives.

“Hyung what are you–” Kyuhyun quickly jumped into her defence, though he was interrupted for the umpteenth time that afternoon when Heechul laughed and said “I was talking about you playing Starcraft through the night! What were you thinking about?”

That effectively shut the younger man up, and he vaguely wondered whether being allowed to live as a human again has taken his snark away.

Nevertheless, Kyuhyun yelped in pain when someone suddenly pinched him on his arm, and he swerved to his right only to be met with the curious face of none other than Zhou Mi’s wife – who was also one of his good friends. “Damn it, Huiying, why did you do that for?” he growled, rubbing his sore spot to ease the pain. He glanced thankfully at Hyeonmin when the latter took over the task for him.

“Hmm, it still feels surreal to see you being around, regardless of what Mi has told me,” Huiying mused, this time moving to pinch Kyuhyun’s cheeks and played around with it. The man only displayed a look of displeasure at being treated like playtime dough, but did not move to stop her.

“I know; I feel the same when I wake up every morning,” he deadpanned, turning around in search of a certain long-legged man to get his wife away. A smirk found its way to his lips when he caught sight of his target laughing heartily several seats away. “Zhou Mi hyung, does she abuse you in such a manner when you’re in bed? You must have a pretty kinky relationship if she does,” Kyuhyun therefore asked, effectively causing the man’s laughter to cease.

“I hate you,” the Chinese man frowned, only to be responded with a victorious grin from Kyuhyun.

“The feeling’s mutual,” he grinned, only to yelp in pain again when Huiying landed a painful hit on his back to repay him for his earlier comment.

* * * * *

Hyeonmin watched on quietly as the bantering continued between Kyuhyun, the Super Junior members, and their wives. Even though she had not met the other women in her favourite group’s lives apart from Angie until today, she thought that they were beautiful and charming in their own ways. It was a pity she could not meet some of them, however, as a couple of them had their own engagements.

Her eyes were fixed on her boyfriend for the most part of the gathering, smiling wistfully to herself as she watched him play with Jungsoo’s pair of twins. He definitely looked like a fitting father at times like these. It was a large contrast with that awkward person who struggled to even hold a toddler in place back in those days when he had appeared on a couple of episodes of Hello Baby with his group leader.

Nevertheless, she could feel the blood draining from her face when the recollections from their encounter earlier suddenly washed over her. The thought alone caused her to feel extremely suffocated, and she immediately excused herself from the room so that the others wouldn’t worry about her, heading to the ladies’ room to wash her face.

Hyeonmin felt much more refreshed and awake when the tap water hit her in the face. The dampness was very much welcomed to clear her mind. As she stared at the mirror in front of her, she couldn’t help but let out a bemused chuckle.

“Yong Hyeonmin, you’re an idiot,” she chastised herself, pressing her palm against the cold surface of the mirror as she scrutinised her own expressions.

She jumped in her position when someone walked into the washroom moments later, only to come face to face with the concerned face of Jungsoo’s wife. “Gosh Hyeonmin, why are you drenched?” Angie exclaimed when she caught sight of the water droplets dripping to the ground, reaching for the paper towels so that she could help the younger woman dry her face up.

“Thanks unnie, I was just trying to keep myself awake,” Hyeonmin muttered sheepishly, taking over the task of cleaning herself up. She averted her gaze from the older woman, hoping that she did not see through her lie.

“Are you alright?” Angie asked again, noticing how burdened Hyeonmin looked.

She had been watching Hyeonmin’s actions ever since she had stepped into the reserved room, and found that the latter was rather out of it. For one, she didn’t even seem interested in protesting against the other Super Junior members for maltreating Kyuhyun, despite watching the entire scene unfolding in front of her. In fact, it seemed as though her mind was somewhere else, and was distracted for the most part of the gathering.

“I…” Hyeonmin began, biting her lip in a dilemma. She didn’t know whether she should reveal what was bothering her, afraid that Angie would see her as being insecure. In the end, she let out a dismayed sigh, settling for a noncommittal “I don’t even know, unnie.”

“Do you mind telling me what’s bothering you? Kyuhyun may not show it, but he’s actually very worried about you at the moment. He specially requested me to check up on you,” she smiled, pulling Hyeonmin into a hug. The girl relaxed a little in her embrace, loosely wrapping her arms around Angie as well.

“The kid that Kyuhyun had bumped into today morning… was little Hyunjin… and Jin Ri unnie was there too,” Hyeonmin whispered in reply, trembling in an effort to keep her emotions in check.

Angie’s eyes widened in response, unsure what to say about it.

Stuck With You - Epilogue

2012-01-28T22:53:00.001+08:00

Epilogue

The woman in the television screen gave a brief smile at the camera which was recording her, as the flashes from the other professional cameras were triggered one after the other. Next to her, an older man in his early thirties sporting a pair of thick-rimmed spectacles and short-cropped hair tapped on the microphone in front of him, clearing his throat in order to command the attention of everyone present.

“Dear members of the press, thank you so much for joining us today,” he said. A brief pause ensued, allowing the commotion to die down a little. When the venue was silent enough – save for the fervent clicking of the camera shutters – he started again. “As you may know, this press conference has been specially called for by Miss Lin Huiying here.”

“Minseung hyung is really awkward in front of the cameras, isn’t he?” Henry snickered as he watched the proceedings of the press conference. He wasn’t able to attend the actual function as it clashed with his schedules, and he was thoroughly bummed by that fact.

“You better not let him hear that, Henry. Who knows what he’s capable of doing?” Kyuhyun pointed out with a smirk, though that expression fell when a certain long-legged male shushed him up for no particular reason. He sank into his seat on the sofa, sulking like a child who had just been grounded by his parents.

The whole dorm quieted down when the girl in the television – their beloved friend – started to speak after taking in a deep breath to calm her nerves. “I would like to extend my sincerest gratitude for your participation today,” the Korean words rolled off her tongue smoothly, leaving no room for others to criticise her for being unable to speak in the language.

She was sure that the general public held such a perception about her, considering the fact that she was a foreigner from China, and that The Sapphire Project hardly ever did any interviews in Korean – if ever. She had relayed the frustration to Kyuhyun the other time, and he challenged her to prove her own abilities in speaking the language.

She accepted the challenge and did just that.

“I know that many of you were shocked and appalled by my past, which was revealed on a particular newspaper about two months ago. I would like to sincerely apologise for taking such a long while to step up and clarify about the matter, and I will not give any excuses for my failure to do so.”

“Are you out of your mind? You have every right to explain yourself!” Donghae cried foul at the television screen, feeling outraged at the girl’s apparently docile words.

“Hae, calm down. I’m sure she has her reasons for doing so,” Hyukjae intercepted, a look of dismay on his own expressions. He, too, was curious about Huiying’s intentions, but figured out that he might be able to discover the answer eventually if he watched on.

If he doesn’t, he could always grab the girl and force her to confess.

“That’s probably the reason why she banned the rest of you from attending the press conference,” Zhou Mi snickered into his palm, wrapping his arm around the shoulders of the person who was seated next to him. His gaze was still fixed intently on the television, however. “You guys are probably going to submerge the hall in chaos.”

“Does this ‘chaos’ you speak of include you dashing onto the stage and wrapping your arms protectively around Huiying? Because I definitely can envision that happening,” Kyuhyun retorted, smirking victoriously when the Chinese man turned a deep shade of red and silently continued to watch the reporters throwing question after question at his duet partner. Kyuhyun had been itching to get even for quite some time now.

The other boys also chortled in response at Kyuhyun’s snide, though the noise level fell drastically when it was finally their friend’s turn to speak up again.

“I don’t have any intentions in concealing any facts or denying anything, so yes, it’s true that I used to smoke and take drugs when I was young–” she said, though she was momentarily interrupted when the hall was submerged in a frenzy of murmurs, phone calls, and fingers rapidly dancing across the laptop keyboards. The reporters were evidently trying to outdo each other in being the first ones to get the news out.

There was a flicker of dismay on Huiying’s expressions at the scene, but the smile rapidly took its place as she resumed with her speech. “I know this might sound clichéd, but I was young and troubled by my father’s passing back then, and even mixed with the wrong group. Again, I maintain that being of a young age isn’t a decent excuse for me to indulge in such activities, and I have learned from my mistakes. However, the most important thing is that I was checked into a rehabilitation facility by my mother and my then-boyfriend. I assure you, my addictions have been kicked for years now, and I no longer dabble with them in the course of my career, and have no intentions in getting into such habits again.”

By then, the host of the entertainment news began commenting on the incident, while the footage from the press conference was muted and faded into the background. Someone reached for the remote control then, switching the channel with a barely-concealed huff.

“Remind me to give that prick a piece of my mind when I pay a visit to KBS. He should learn how to keep his annoying comments to himself,” the person growled, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Zhou Mi laughed as his grip around her tightened. “I’m sure you will, Ying. Promise me you’ll not be too harsh on him though.”

“And risk having him rat the hell out of me on his segment again? No thanks,” Huiying shuddered, though she sat up in attention when something clicked in her mind. “Wait, why are we watching my press conference again? I wanted to be rid of that memory…”

“Because Henry hasn’t seen it yet,” Ryeowook pointed out with a grin. The rest of the boys secretly wanted to have an opportunity to tease Huiying, and reminded the violinist about the time of the broadcast.

“And Mi obviously wouldn’t pass up a chance to brag and gloat about his insurmountable amount of pride and joy in you,” Kyuhyun exclaimed dramatically, eliciting roars of laughter from the rest – except said person, naturally.

“Is it wrong to do so?” Zhou Mi whined in response. “We haven’t even said anything about how much you dote on Jin Ri. Don’t get us started, brat.”

“What’s the entire ruckus about?” A new voice joined the group who was lounging around in the living room, having heard the heated discussion while he was trying to focus on his composition. He had a frown on his face when he noticed how Zhou Mi and Huiying quickly jumped apart at his appearance.

Nevertheless, before he could comment about it, Donghae disrupted his train of thoughts. “We were just watching Ying’s press conference. Sorry for not informing you, Sungmin hyung, but I thought you didn’t want to be disturbed.”

Sungmin laughed. “Don’t worry about that. I’m not upset. I was there at the press conference with her anyway, don’t you remember?” he mentioned, smiling fondly at the memory where Huiying insisted that he went along with her for the press conference. He hesitated at first, saying that Zhou Mi should be the one accompanying her instead, but she had convinced him eventually.

“Boy, you have no idea how jealous Mi hyung was,” Henry said animatedly. “He kept on disturbing me and flooding my phone with text messages even though I told him I was recording.”

The violinist groaned painfully when Zhou Mi surreptitiously dug his elbow into Henry’s side for exposing his secret. They made a pact for Henry to keep the incident between the two of them, but the younger man had just violated that promise.

“Really now…?” Sungmin glanced at Zhou Mi, the amused and teasing smile playing on his lips. The latter duly ignored it, though his face was burning up with embarrassment. “Seriously though, the both of you should stop acting like a pair of criminals. I told you, I don’t mind that you guys are in a relationship,” he admitted.

“It still doesn’t sit well with me that we might be picking on your wounds,” Huiying spoke up meekly. Zhou Mi nodded beside her.

“I would’ve kicked his ass badly if I were bothered by it,” the older man shrugged nonchalantly, smirking when Zhou Mi reflexively shifted backwards. He loved throwing empty threats at Zhou Mi, just to observe his response. It has never failed to amuse him. “Haven’t we talked about this, Ying?”

“We have, but–”

“But what? As long as it’s understood, then it’s fine. Let me tell you this one last time – I’m really not perturbed by the fact that the two of you are seeing each other now,” he reprimanded his ex-girlfriend.

While it may be true that he would still occasionally feel the dull ache in his chest, Sungmin had told himself to man up and get over it; her happiness was his priority, and if she was happy with Zhou Mi, then so be it.

Unexpectedly, several concerted groans erupted from the other members. They had conveniently forgotten that the other members were still seated in the living room. That reaction obviously meant that the boys had witnessed every second of his exchange with Huiying, and thought it too cheesy to bear with.

Smiling, Sungmin pulled Zhou Mi and Huiying off the sofa, and started dragging them to the door by their hands.

“Hyung, what are you doing?” the Chinese man asked, confused.

“Throwing the both of you out of the house for being such a lovey-dovey pair in front of me,” he feigned being upset as he blocked the entrance with his spread-out arms. “I’m just kidding. Couples shouldn’t be cooped up at home, especially after you’ve busied yourselves with suing Jingxi for blackmail in the last couple of weeks. Go out and spend the day together instead of being stuck in the dorms with the loners in there,” he then said, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder at the direction of the boys who were sprawled around the living room. They all growled in protest at the adjective used to describe them.

Huiying giggled a little at that, though her facial expressions turned slightly more serious as she turned to gaze at him. “Are you sure you’re completely okay?” she asked, genuinely concerned about Sungmin’s feelings. She would still feel a pang of intense guilt whenever she watched Sungmin, though he refused to let her fuss over him.

She never really knew what he thought about her relationship with Zhou Mi, or whether the smiles he flashes whenever he sees them together were sincere. She couldn’t blame him if they weren’t, however.

“I am,” Sungmin reassured her. “Now go before I change my mind,” he threatened, though the smile that broke out on his face indicated that he was just fooling around.

“Thank you,” Huiying said sincerely, moving forward and pulling him into an embrace. He gladly returned the hug, secretly feeling relieved that his heart no longer skipped a beat at their contact. It was a new milestone in his quest to completely get over her.

Huiying threw another brief glance at the man who had sacrificed his happiness for her sake, smiling at him when they broke the hug. Zhou Mi also took the opportunity to thank him, of which Sungmin replied with a wave.

Neither of them moved a muscle until Sungmin disappeared into the dorms, but when he did, they exchanged a knowing look at each other and linked their hands together.

They were definitely going to cherish this relationship until the end of their lives, come what may.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Author's notes:
If you're slightly confused with the timeline of this Epilogue, here's a little explanation. The press conference they were watching was filmed two months after Huiying's disappearance. They were watching a rerun of the event, give or take several weeks after that.

So anyway, this is really the end for Stuck With You. It has been running for a good 1 year and 4 months, and I'd like to thank you for sticking through this long journey with me, inclusive of my long periods of hiatus from the story because of my studies >< (I used to be able to complete my fics way faster than my current rate, haha!). I certainly hope that you've enjoyed it all, and again I'd like to apologise for the probably lame ending in the final chapter ><

I love you guys!

Wails

2012-01-24T11:24:00.003+08:00

The server hosting SJ-WORLD crashed and all the data died.

I want to cry. All of the translations I've done since October 2011 have been flushed down the drain, and the boys haven't been particularly quiet on Twitter either.

... and the articles.....

I should have kept a copy of whatever I translated in my computer T.T

Sigh

2012-01-23T20:05:00.001+08:00

I say, the furniture these days are of extremely low quality.

A little more than 2 years, yet the doors of my cabinet are falling apart. Even my shelves are in a sorry state because the wood isn't solid enough to sustain the weight of my books (textbooks in medical school aren't light..)

This is such an annoyance.

Happy Chinese New Year!♥

2012-01-22T23:02:00.003+08:00

After that previous post with me in a kebaya (on the eve of Chinese New Year, no less!), I feel obliged to post about my own celebration, haha! Jokes aside, it's really been a while since I've talked much about this festivity.

Of course, we have to start off with a reunion dinner with... I don't even know how many courses we've had for dinner, seriously. I was asked by a friend today - can we actually eat out for reunion dinner?

The answer's actually a mix of yes and no, depending on the circumstances. If you have an older generation at home, naturally you'd have to do things the traditional way - 직접 저녁을 만들고 집에 먹어야 돼! (I'm sure you can guess the meaning from that XD) My family used to travel back to my hometown in Negeri Sembilan for that purpose, but since my paternal grandparents have both passed on, we would usually have our reunion dinner at home instead. We did initially cook at home, though it became such a hassle (pots and pans and lots of cleaning up to do later, on top of all the other preparationss that has to be done from the morning) that we decided that it was best to eat out instead.

Staying true to our practices for the past few years, I obviously ate out with the rest of my family - my eldest aunt and my uncle's family. It was an early dinner, and I think I'm already hungry by now.

Still can't last through the day without a decent helping of rice, orz. Asian through and through, I am.

One of the best part of dinner would probably be the wine :) And hmm, I don't think I have much of an interest in yee sang. Never did, probably never will either.

That being said, I hope you'll have a joyous Chinese New Year (if you're celebrating the occasion, that is)! Have a prosperous Year of the Dragon ahead ♥

Learning About Cultures

2012-01-22T14:01:00.001+08:00

Attended one of my friend's engagement ceremony today, and I realised just how much I didn't know about the Malay culture.

Sure, I had attended a Malay wedding ceremony years ago (when I was only 5, actually), but that was only a small portion of the full package.

Haha, it was definitely interesting to witness the engagement ceremony though. We (Charlotte and I were pretty much the only two non-Muslims there, I presume) were told that the engagement ceremony is a very formal event, and not many people do this any longer. But anyway, culture is culture, and I'm glad I was able to watch the proceedings :)

To be quite honest, I was invited to several other wedding ceremonies of my other batch mates over the year, but I haven't really been able to make it for any of them except this one. (Um, it kinda clashes with my plans? Some were held on the eve of festivities, so yup) I'm not a hermit who excludes myself from social events, just saying =P It all depends on the time factor! :)

The weirdest thing would be the fact that my mum asked me to wear a cocktail dress to the ceremony. Uh, yeah, sure mum. I would've stuck out like a sore thumb lol.

Happy engagement, dear friend. Looking forward to your wedding ceremony! *giggles*

Us from today :)

(And yes, I think I've received enough odd stares on the train today for wearing a Kebaya on the eve of Chinese New Year. Hmm. Mind your own business, people.)

Grand Awards, All-Kill!

2012-01-19T22:23:00.003+08:00

2011 M.net Asian Music Awards - Album of the Year

26th Golden Disk Awards - Grand Award

21st High1 Seoul Music Awards - Grand Award

People may think that we're undeserving of these awards, but whatever. Go eat food :)
It's us against the world, baby. In your face :)
We did it!!!

That Someone Is You - Chapter 10

2012-01-17T14:00:00.000+08:00

10

"Hyung, can't arrangements be made to accommodate my request?" Hyukjae pleaded, bouncing along as he tried to get his manager's attention. The latter was giving him a tough time, however, as he kept on walking down the hallways of the entertainment company's building ever since he had left the boys’ practising studio a couple of minutes ago.

The man came to an unexpected stop moments later, causing Hyukjae to nearly stumble backwards when he halted in his own steps. "Hyukjae, it's not that I don't want to help you out with this. It’s difficult to convince the higher-ups and it’s really up to the clients to excuse several of you from a job offer; you know that very well, don’t you?” his manager explained, flashing a brief, apologetic smile at the younger man.

Hyukjae sighed. “I know, hyung, but it’s seriously physically draining for me to miss classes and then having to review them after all my schedules,” he said, pouting slightly at the older man whom merely frowned in response.

“Hyukjae’s right. No matter how enthusiastic he is in his studies, he can only keep up for so long,” came the sudden comment from behind the pair, causing the both of them to whip around in surprise.

They stared oddly at Jongwoon when the latter passed them by without giving them anything more than an amiable smile (of which his fellow group member thought as slightly creepy in nature). None of them had even noticed that the vocalist had been listening in on their conversation.

“Jongwoon has a point for once!” Before they could even compose themselves, Heechul shouted from down the hallway, shocking Hyukjae and their manager again. They wondered how on earth it was possible for the diva of the group to pick up on their verbal exchange from such a distance away. They were pretty sure that they hadn’t been conversing in a volume that was loud enough for the whole world to hear.

Ignoring the rest of his group members, Hyukjae turned to face his manager again. “Seriously, Inhwan hyung. Time-wise, it’s not that efficient for me to skip my lessons on a daily basis only to have to revise on things I could’ve picked up during the day. I really wouldn’t mind missing out on the revenue I get from these schedules just so I can return to university,” the dancer attempted to reason again, putting on the most pitiable look he could muster. “Please?”

“I don’t know…” Inhwan began, looking particularly troubled by his current predicament. He was torn between letting his charge have his way, and to listen to the orders from the company.

“Let the boy have the life of a normal university student. Not all of us have the privilege to do so, hyung,” Jongwoon said again as he walked back in the direction of the practising studio. Inhwan pressed a hand against his chest in astonishment, wondering why the other man kept popping up when he was least expected to.

“See, even Yesungie hyung agrees,” the younger man pushed again. “C’mon hyung, there were times where other members have been excused from schedules for personal reasons as well, haven’t they? I seriously can’t afford to lose any more classes before the third album’s promotions begin, otherwise I might flunk my exams.”

In the end, Hyukjae knew that the discussion was won over by him when his manager exhaled loudly. “Fine, I’ll try talking to the directors again and see what I can do about it.”

The dancer beamed widely at the statement, enthusiastically pulling Inhwan into a hug. “Thank you so much, hyungnim! I owe you one!” he chirruped, immediately bolting off towards the dance studio when he caught sight of a rather grumpy Youngwoon peeking out from the room down the hallway. If he were to skip out on schedules, the least he could do was to attend his practice sessions diligently to make up for his absence.

Manager-buttering project: accomplished.
* * * * *

“Hyeon, guess what!” Min-ae exclaimed enthusiastically as she bounded in her roommate’s direction.

However, the brown-haired girl shrank a little when the always-grumpy librarian (to be fair, Min-ae had never seen even the ghost of a smile on that woman’s face) practically shrieked at her, reprimanding her for raising a ruckus in the library. She meekly bowed in apology, flashing a guilty grin at the middle-aged woman as she promised not to repeat her actions again before she finally took a seat opposite her best friend.

The scowl was evident on Min-ae’s face when her back was finally turned against the librarian, mumbling something along the lines about the latter needing to get that invisible stick out of her ass. Seohyeon, whom had been effectively distracted from her textbooks after the incident, pressed a balled-up fist against her lips in an attempt to not laugh out loud. She was already trembling in her attempt to do so.

“Yes, thanks for being such a great friend Hyeon,” Min-ae commented dryly when she caught on to the extremely amused look being plastered on her roommate’s expressions. “Laugh when your friend gets castigated by some cantankerous old hag, will you?”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it Min,” she managed to choke out in the midst of her giggling. “You should’ve known better than to speak in such a loud voice in the library, though. And gosh, it’s such a surprise to hear you uttering such huge words.”

The long-legged girl frowned at the statement. “I guess I have this place to thank–” she scoffed as she gestured at her surroundings before slumping dispiritedly into her seat. “–for eliciting the impossible in me.”

“Whatever you say, Min,” Seohyeon laughed again. Deep inside, she knew that her best friend was well-versed with a large number of books, and was fully capable of using difficult vocabulary rather than acting as though she was an airhead who knew nothing but the latest fashion. What she couldn’t understand was why Min-ae would go through great lengths to downgrade her own intelligence in the eyes of others. “So, what was all that commotion about again?”

Min-ae appeared genuinely confused. “Wait, what are you talking about?”

“All that ‘Hyeon, guess what!’ talk before Mrs. Jung interrupted your train of thoughts,” the other girl rolled her eyes, re-enacting Min-ae’s gestures from before – inclusive of the arm-flailing and sparkly eyes. “Do you remember now?”

“Yes, I do, thanks,” she mumbled darkly, though the bright expressions returned in a heartbeat. “So about that, I made a great discovery today!”

“Which is…?”

“Apparently–” Min-ae began, inserting a pause to build up the suspense. Nevertheless, she remained vigilant in ensuring that her voice was below the threshold level for her to be kicked out of the building. “–there’s a celebrity studying in our university.”

“Mm, sure.” There was a slight pause before Seohyeon nodded hesitantly with slightly narrowed eyes, returning her attention to the books in front of her as though Min-ae hadn’t said anything at all.

“You don’t believe in me, do you?” Min-ae huffed discontentedly, watching her friend scribble across the previously-empty foolscap on the table.

“What do you think?” the other girl glanced up briefly, flashing a saccharine sweet smile at her roommate that made the latter shudder.

“But I’m being serious, Hyeon. He’s in my faculty and a year our senior,” she defended herself in a last-ditch attempt. If she failed, then it would mean that the discussion was officially over.

Min-ae had a satisfied smile on her face when Seohyeon finally laid her pen on the table and leaned into her own seat. She knew she had effectively gained her best friend’s attention. All it took was several convincing-sounding statements on her part.

“Do you have a photograph of the person and a name to pin on him too? Otherwise I won’t take this seriously. You know how rumours get passed on as though it’s an essence of life sometimes,” Seohyeon quipped, twiddling her pen between her fingers in an absentminded manner.

“Well I can’t quite recall his actual name, but if I’m not mistaken, his stage name is Eunhyuk from Super Junior,” Min-ae said.

The girl with long locks looked on questioningly when her friend whipped her phone out, and began tapping on the on-screen keyboard. “Let’s see… Super Junior’s Eunhyuk, was it?” Seohyeon mumbled to herself as she waited for the pages to load.

“It sure is convenient to have a smart phone in hand, huh?” the other mused. Seohyeon replied with a nod, though her brilliant brown eyes were still fixed on the screen in front of her.

After several moments of silence, Seohyeon finally looked up. “Is his birth name Lee Hyukjae?” she asked.

Min-ae didn’t know whether she had imagined it, but Seohyeon’s voice sounded slightly strained as she said those words. There was an unexplainable amount of conflict reflected in her eyes, and Min-ae hesitated whether she should point it out to Seohyeon. In the end, she merely replied with a soft “Yes, I think so”, deciding to observe her friend a little longer.

Seohyeon unmistakably swallowed hard at the confirmation, though the bright smile was plastered on her face a split second later. “Interesting, I wonder whether he comes to university often,” she concluded. “Anyway, shall we go for lunch? I’m hungry.”

“Su…re,” Min-ae agreed as she watched Seohyeon pack up. She noticed how the other girl’s hands were trembling uncontrollably, and couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong.

Seohyeon dragged her out of the library before she could even ask her about it.

* * * * *

“Are you being serious?” Shin-il inquired disbelievingly, mouth agape in mock amazement at what he had just heard from his friend.

“Yes, Shin,” the other man replied with a gummy grin. “I managed to persuade my manager to talk to the higher management about this, so there’s a large chance I might be able to come to class consistently for a short period of time. At least until the third album’s promotions are in full blast, I hope.”

Hyukjae was currently lounging in his shared room with Shin-il, happily dribbling a basketball in the confined space as he relayed the information to his friend. He was finally able to attend university like any other normal student, if only for a short while. He was ecstatic that he had managed to get Inhwan to see things his way. But of course, he was also thankful that his group members had chipped in their thoughts about the matter. That had definitely helped in changing their manager’s opinion.

However, the desire to attend lectures as a regular student wasn’t the main reason why he had requested to sit out of certain less-important schedules. Ever since he had started talking to Seohyeon, Hyukjae felt a strong urge to be around campus more, just so he could see her frequently. He had several encounters with the girl at the waterfront, but it just didn’t seem adequate to him.

He wanted to get to know her better, for reasons unbeknownst to himself.

“That’s certainly better than nothing,” Shin-il concurred, deftly receiving the pass from Hyukjae and shot the ball through the hoop he had put up on the wall sometime during the semester. “It’s about time you made your presence felt in the university for this academic year, though. A vast majority of the juniors have no inkling that you’re a student here. That’s not supposed to happen to a superstar like you,” he laughed.

“I’m not particularly absorbed in this entire fame thing. You know that,” Hyukjae shot back. Nevertheless, what Shin-il said bothered him greatly. Seohyeon probably had no idea that he was a part of an idol group either, considering how calmly she acted around him.

“Yes, yes Mr. Sizzling Hot Dancer sir,” his friend aimed a mock salute at him. “That doesn’t stop me from wondering why you’re in this line of job, though,” Shin-il then pointed out with a smile, reminding Hyukjae about a question that had been left unanswered for the longest time ever.

Hyukjae loved to perform on stage and became a celebrity for the sake of fulfilling his dreams, yet he didn’t quite like basking in all the attention. It was an enigma to Shin-il.

“Hmm, I’m curious about that point myself,” Hyukjae gave a noncommittal shrug. Deciding that he had enough of indoor basketball for a day, he launched himself onto the bed which was supposed to be his to occupy and lay spread-eagle on top of it.

“So, what exactly are your plans? And how long do you have to hang around on campus?”

“Surprise the professors by being an extremely diligent student for a couple of weeks, I suppose?” Hyukjae laughed. He ran a hand through his now short-cropped hair that was dyed ebony again, getting rid of the sweat that matted his hair. “I don’t really know. I would probably have a month at best before I get mobbed like the older days when I was actively promoting with H. Teasers for the album are going to be released soon.”

Shin-il shuddered at the memory. “Well remind me not to be in a three-meter radius around you when that time comes,” he grumbled. “I have no plans of getting killed in a fangirl stampede, thank you very much. It’s such a sad way to die.”

“Don’t worry about that,” the other man chortled. “I don’t think I would be able to step into the university’s compound either. It’s going to be hell trying to outrun the fans.”

“I’ll bet.”

“Where’s your girl though? Do you intend to introduce her to me anytime soon?” Hyukjae suddenly asked, earning a surprised whine from Shin-il.

“Which girl are you talking about?” he frowned.

“Whichever you’re dating or bedding at the moment. I don’t know.”

“I’m not seeing anyone right now, Hyuk. Where did you get that idea from?” Shin-il inquired, a frown on his handsome features. He was dead sure that he hadn’t been in a relationship – solid or not – for quite some time now. Not since he had started talking to a certain Shin Seohyeon.

She made him see the world in a different perspective, one that he hadn’t noticed all this while.

Hyukjae snorted at the question. “Didn’t you go out on a date with a girl the other day? What? She saw through your intentions and decided to stop going out with you or something?”

“Oh!” Shin-il exclaimed when he finally realised who Hyukjae was talking about. “I’ve been out with her a couple of times, yes,” he confirmed.

“…and?”

“What do you expect would happen from those dates?” Shin-il quirked an eyebrow at his friend.

“You’d usually get in the sack with the girl by the third date – latest,” Hyukjae pointed out with deep interest. He turned to sit on the edge of his bed, eyeing Shin-il intently.

“What would you do if I told you that I don’t see the point of hitting a homerun with this girl? At least not yet,” the other man smiled.

“Oh my God,” the Super Junior member exclaimed exasperatedly. “Is the great playboy, Yoon Shin-il, saying that he doesn’t want to have sex with the girl he’s seeing? This is a cause for celebration!”

“You make it sound as though I’m a horrible person who would ask every girl I date to spread their legs for me,” Shin-il mumbled dryly, shooting Hyukjae a dark look. The latter merely grinned in response.

“You know that it’s not too far from the truth, though. I mean, take a look at your track record with the female students in this university. How many girls have you not touched?”

Shin-il pursed his lips in deep thought for a short moment, before arriving at the safest answer he could muster. “A lot.”

“Yeah, right. I’d be a famous Hollywood actor if that were true,” Hyukjae snorted again, then took upon a more serious expression. “Are you in love with that girl, though? You seem to be viewing this relationship seriously,” he said, feeling genuinely concerned about his friend. He knew how much Shin-il tried to shun a full-blown romantic relationship after his rather rocky past.

“I’m not in a relationship,” his friend reiterated, before he sighed in response. “I don’t know. It’s just that… I don’t want sex to be the main reason behind me befriending any other females anymore.”

“That’s a surprise,” Hyukjae admitted bluntly.

“It gets boring after a while. A man can only get laid so many times before the thrill runs dry,” Shin-il laughed, though another sigh left his lips moments later. He slumped against the wall and drew his legs towards him. “I’m not saying that I’m going to be serious with the girl, though. I’m still fooling around, just not in my usual manner.”

Hyukjae nodded grimly to himself, as if coming to a realisation that only he could understand. “I still think you’re in love with the girl,” he maintained. “What I wouldn’t give to meet the girl who managed to capture your heart.”

“Shut up Hyukjae, I told you I’m not in love,” Shin-il growled, earning a noncommittal grunt from his friend. He had a hunch that the dancer didn’t really buy his words.

Truthfully, Shin-il had no inkling whether his feelings for Seohyeon were real either. He liked her, and was comfortable being around her – that much was true. However, judging from his past, there was a high chance where he might run away and indulge in his old ways somewhere along the road if ever he starts being hesitant.

He knew better.

..｡.:*:.｡..｡.:*:.｡..

Author's Notes:
Is Shin-il good.... or bad? Well that's for me to know and for you to find out ;D Also, I should warn you that things aren't always as they seem to be (especially if you know about the twists in my other novels, haha!)

Sorry for the late update, by the way. Writer's block. Didn't know how to start off the chapter even after I thought about it for such a long while, but finally the inspiration came the other day :D I know it's somewhat of a filler chapter, but I hope things will pick up soon. And oh, if you're wondering, no, Shin-il and Hyukjae have no idea that they're interested in the same girl ;)

Fragments of a Memory - Chapter 4

2012-01-16T20:09:00.000+08:00

Chapter 04

He stared intently at his outstretched hand above him, mulling over the millions of thoughts running around in his head. This was his usual routine whenever he was set free from his obligations for the past three weeks, ever since the other angel of death fed him with the information regarding his sworn enemy.

Despite running every single thing he could think of through his mind, he still couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to give up the prestige of being an angel of death, along with the power and ability that came with it.

Above all, he really could not understand why he would rather return to being a human. The weakest beings of all. The existence he would very much like to crush under his feet like pathetic pests.

To top it off, he would like to face off against Kyuhyun on a level playing ground, not tower over him in terms of abilities – or rather, the lack of it on the other man’s part. It would be too easy for him, and he didn’t like that at all. The challenging part of going head-to-head with the now ex-angel of death was the difference between their abilities, of which Chungho would really love to sharpen if he had the opportunity to do so. It gave him the adrenaline rush he needed, just to entertain himself.

After all, the angels of death were a group of really bored individuals who needed some excitement to spice up their undead lives.

Chungho glanced to his left when a shadow appeared in the dark space, though a split second later, the figure was already comfortably settled on top of him. An annoyed grunt escaped his throat when the smirking face of the woman appeared in front of him. She noticed it and immediately put some distance between their bodies, feeling offended by his reaction. He was also scowling at her at this point of time.

“Tsk, you ought to be a little bit more welcoming, don’t you think?” she frowned, before waving a hand in front of her own face.

“I will when you would stop using such pointless tactics to gain my attention,” Chungho snorted at the woman who had just assumed her regular appearance. “You know that I dislike that woman, yet you appeared right in front of me with her face in place of yours.”

“You’re no fun,” Hyorin huffed, though secretly, she loved to see him being riled up at the sight of Yong Hyeonmin. Despite having observed him from a distance for quite a long period of time, she still could not bring herself to understand why he had such an enormous amount of hatred for some lowly human whom hardly even interacted with him.

Then again, it all probably boiled down to the fact that Yong Hyeonmin had a particularly intimate relationship with Chungho’s one and only rival.

“I’m not in the mood to entertain you today, Hyorin. Get out of my sight,” he snapped. Although this wasn’t the first time that the other angel of death had tried toying around with his mind, Chungho felt even more irritated than usual.

To his dismay, Hyorin merely laughed at his imperative. “You have never been in the right mood to humour me, so what’s new?” she pointed out lazily, as she sprawled over the surface nearest to her and played with the ends of her hair. “I can see that you’re still agitated because of what I told you the other day, though. Haven’t you thought about a decent plan yet, though? I’m disappointed.”

Chungho narrowed his eyes at the woman after hearing what she had to say, seriously contemplating whether he should take the risk and launch an attack on her. She was really getting on his nerves, and appeared to be happily enjoying it because she knew he couldn’t hurt her. He silently cursed at his lack of power.

“It’s really none of your business, Hyorin. Don’t you have something else to do instead of disturbing me whenever you have the chance to do so? I don’t recall that we angels of death had so much free time on our hands,” Chungho therefore commented darkly, shooting a knowing look at Hyorin. A victorious smirk played on his lips when she stiffened ever so subtly, yet it was more than enough for him to pick up the reaction.

“I… I just happened to be free of missions in the mean time. It’s not a big deal,” she stammered slightly, before assuming her regular composure. Chungho knew better, however. Hyorin was a person who cared a lot about her seemingly flawless image, and her ego was rather massive as a result of that. It was exactly what he needed to bring her down; as childish as it may sound, every mistake of hers was an opportunity for him.

“Really now?” he pressed on, relishing how she squirmed uncomfortably under his scrutiny. Even though his powers may be attenuated, he was still able to intimidate Hyorin quite a bit with his aura. For angels of death, their years of experience and powers were proportional to the aura they possess. He evidently towered over her in terms of experience.

“Really,” Hyorin reiterated. “Also, I happen to have a proposition for you.”

At the sound of that, Chungho perked up in his position, scrutinising the woman carefully. He narrowed his eyes cautiously, frustrated that he was unable to pick up anything but sincerity from her words. He wasn’t sure whether she was up to something behind his back, but he figured out that he should at least give Hyorin a chance to voice out her thoughts. “What is it? If you’re trying to set up a trap for whatever reason, do remember that I won’t hesitate to rip you apart, limb by limb,” he therefore warned, voice low and dangerous.

“I’m pretty sure you’ll like the sound of this,” she laughed. Within the next second, Hyorin’s expressions turned completely serious as she prepared to tell him about her plans.

* * * * *

“I really don’t think this is a good idea,” the taller one of the pair said, flustered that he was brought to this particular place without prior warning. He didn’t even have the opportunity to dress up in a proper manner, nor to prepare what he wanted to say when he met the people who were behind these very doors.

“And just why not?” the other person shot back. She had a look of amusement on her face as she watched him twiddle his fingers in distress, which went through his soft, straight hair within the next second. The cycle had been repeating itself for as long as they had been standing in their current positions. “Come on, Kyu, it’s not like you have no idea who they are,” she tried to convince him again, only to receive a frown in response.

“That may be true, but whether or not it’s applicable in reverse would probably be a better question,” Kyuhyun stated as-a-matter-of-factly, still adamant at not listening to Hyeonmin’s words and coercing. The incident that had happened before he was dragged back to the realm of death remained fresh in his mind, and that was the whole foundation of his worries. He wasn’t about to walk into a room full of people he knew, only to be stared at as though he was some sort of freak.

Well, his existence probably wasn’t too far off from being paranormal, but still.

“How old are you exactly, Kyuhyun?” Hyeonmin sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat in the face of his stubbornness. “Could you stop acting like a child for once, and just trust me on this? Please?”

“I can trust you on everything else but this, Hyeon. You know very well that possibly only four out of the fourteen of them have their memories of me,” he pointed out with yet another frown. “I am definitely going to receive odd stares from the rest of them.”

If Kyuhyun had known from the start that his girlfriend would be bringing him all the way to the company, he wouldn’t have agreed to it. But circumstances proved otherwise, as Hyeonmin merely suggested that they should head out for a walk because the weather was good. He easily went along with her request, since he had nothing in particular to keep himself occupied anyway.

Now all that he could think of was how much he regretted that decision.

“How can you be so sure that it would definitely happen, Kyu?” she sighed. “You’ve been away from this place for three full months, and I am the person who has been in constant contact with them. I believe I would have substantial proof that your worries are unfounded,” Hyeonmin pushed again, flashing a wry smile at Kyuhyun. She could understand why he was being so hesitant to step into the room, however.

“I don’t know, Hyeon… I’m just… scared that I have to live with the disappointment that no one remembers me,” Kyuhyun rambled on again as he paced around the hallway, trying to dispel his nervousness. “You know how important they are to me and–” he then continued, only to be cut off by Hyeonmin when she suddenly stepped into his path and pulled him in for a kiss. That effectively stopped him from talking, and his train of thoughts were derailed immediately.

They had no idea how long they were engaged in that lip-lock, until someone cleared his throat. The couple promptly jumped apart, face red with embarrassment.

Much to their dismay, the person who had joined them in the hallway let out a hearty laugh at their reaction. A laugh which Kyuhyun recognised belonged to Shindong. “Honestly, I’m under the impression that we have way too many cheesy couples in the group who can’t keep their PDA down low, and here you go kissing each other senseless instead of coming in to join us. Are you done, or do you need to get an empty room for yourselves first?” the man quipped joyfully.

“Hyung, there’s no need for that…” Kyuhyun mumbled softly, though his head snapped up in the older man’s direction when something clicked in his mind. “Wait, you’re not freaking out?”

Shindong knitted his eyebrows in confusion at the question thrown at him. “And why exactly should I be freaking out?” he asked.

“But I thought–” the supposed-maknae of Super Junior started again, only to shake his head in amusement when he exchanged a look with the girl by his side. “Never mind. We’re sorry for being late,” he amended himself, flashing a cheeky grin at his friend whom he had missed dearly.

“Come on in, everyone’s waiting for you!” Shindong therefore said, walking ahead of the couple into the dance studio which they have called their own for years now.

Hyeonmin merely smiled in amusement as she laced her fingers with Kyuhyun’s, not forgetting to throw a final comment at him before they followed the older man in.

“I told you so.”

He snorted at her in response.

* * * * *

“Wait,” he exclaimed exasperatedly, trying to wrap his head around everything that was happening at the moment. He honestly couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Are you trying to say that your memories of me are intact? Like completely intact?”

Hyukjae frowned at him, launching the nearest object he could get hold of at the younger man. “How many times do we have to repeat this, Kyuhyun? Yes, we remember you just fine, including what you supposedly were,” he reiterated for the umpteenth time that day. Regardless of how much he loved Kyuhyun, the boy was just beginning to get on his nerves by now.

“But that’s impossible… I thought your memories were wiped out by that psychopath ex-master of mine?” Kyuhyun frowned as he tried to recall the sequence of events that had occurred several months ago. He turned to his left when someone snorted next to him, only to find the space empty. Odd.

Thinking that he was just imagining things, Kyuhyun shook his head slightly and laughed it off. He refocused his attention on Donghae who spoke up next. “They were,” he admitted. “We even thought that Teukkie hyung and Sungmin hyung were out of their minds when they walked in after that and asked us whether you were around.”

“You should’ve seen the confusion on their faces,” Sungmin confirmed with a laugh. “They probably thought that Teukkie hyung and I saw your ghost floating around or something.”

“Hey, it was awfully close to his death anniversary, Ming! You couldn’t blame us for thinking as such!” Jongwoon defended the rest of the group. He vividly remembered how the whole group paid a visit to Kyuhyun’s previous burial site after Jungsoo and Sungmin’s query, because they remembered that it had been a while since they had been there.

“Then how did you manage to regain those memories of me? I only recalled asking for my master to keep Teukkie hyung, Sungmin hyung, Zhou Mi hyung and Henry’s memories intact. I don’t think I requested for him to return yours,” Kyuhyun said again, feeling baffled by the situation.

“I’m not sure either, but somehow on the day after you disappeared we woke up with a rather bad headache but pretty much everything about you being back from the dead intact,” Heechul explained.

“Anyway, what’s important is that you’re back now. And it’s definitely nice to see that you two lovebirds are finally together now,” Jungsoo beamed, shooting a knowing glance in the direction of Kyuhyun and Hyeonmin’s still-intertwined fingers. After all, he knew about the circumstances that prevented them from officially being together in the past. The couple merely grinned in response.

“You have no idea how glad I am to be back,” the younger man affirmed as he cuddled up closer to Hyeonmin, ignoring the playful groans that the other members were sending at him. “By the way, where are my sisters-in-law? I really want to see them,” he then asked when he noticed that his girlfriend was the only person of the opposite gender in the room.

“They’re on a shopping trip as usual,” Zhou Mi offered.

“Oh yes I forgot to inform you about that,” the Super Junior leader said. “Angie apologised for not being able to make it today. She really wanted you to meet Sungjoo and Sunhee.”

Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow at the unfamiliar names, only to come to a realisation moments later that it was Jungsoo’s pair of twins. They were mere newborns when his mishap happened, so the twins probably had no idea who he was.

“There’s also a slight problem – you’d have to explain about your re-existence to the rest of our wives. They have no idea that you’re actually… alive,” Ryeowook pointed out. Kyuhyun nodded in understanding, knowing that the rest of his group members wanted him to be the one who told about his story instead. He was, after all, the person who knew best about the situation.

“I can’t wait to see the expression on Jin Ri noona’s face when she meets you again, though!” Henry piped up, only to be jabbed rather painfully in his side by none other than Youngwoon, who sent him a furious look for his words. The Canadian stuck out his tongue when he realised what he had just said.

“Jin Ri?” Kyuhyun echoed the name, frowning as he searched through his memory. It somehow seemed familiar to him, but he couldn’t pinpoint who exactly the person was to him. “Do I know this person?” he asked, searching for the answer in his fellow group members’ eyes. Most of them avoided his gaze, and Hyeonmin’s expressions clearly fell at the question.

“I think Henry meant to say Huiying,” Zhou Mi quickly interjected before Kyuhyun could get suspicious about the situation. “I’m sure you remember her, don’t you? She’ll maul you if you don’t.”

At that, Kyuhyun’s eyes brightened up. “Of course! How can I ever forget Huiying and the mean things she did to me just to get some information about you? Do you think I should call her up and give her a little scare?” he chuckled mischievously.

Zhou Mi wasted no time in allowing the younger man to give his wife a prank call, as he knew he had to divert his attention away from the other name which was mentioned. The other boys heaved a sigh of relief when Kyuhyun no longer doted on asking questions about Jin Ri.

They really didn’t know how they should even begin explaining about the situation if he did.

-❇-❇-❇-

A/N: Jin Ri belongs to none other than the lovely taengoo123♥

Forgetting the Past

2012-01-15T23:09:00.000+08:00

I went on a blogpost-deleting spree today, mostly from my earlier blogging days (inclusive of *ahem r/sissues ahem*) because I found myself cringing from the way I wrote said posts. Sure, I was young (I was, what? 15 back in 2004?), but that's certainly not a good enough excuse to be writing such cringe-worthy things.

But anyway, the deed's done. All the past memories (some painful, if I might add) have been flushed away just like that.

Of course, if only things could be settled in such an easy manner, I'd be a much happier person. Truth is, the past can't be forgotten that easily, regardless of how bitter or how heart-wrenching it was. It still remains as a part of my being, of my life, and it will stay that way until time decides that okay, that's enough for one lifetime.

Then again, that's what people need to grow. To learn from their mistakes, to carry the aftermath of their actions until whenever it decides to go away. We have to gain an insight from our past, and attempt to make a better future, don't you agree?

Wall~

2012-01-15T14:58:00.002+08:00

This is basically how the walls in front of me looks like at the moment.

It's completely full of the Christmas cards/postcards sent to me from my friends all over the world (I'd maintain that out of all of these cards, every single one of them are from my ELF friends haha), and I still have lots more in my drawer that I can't put up because there's inadequate space.

Needless to say, the rest of my wall space around my desk area is full of posters of Super Junior, in addition to random photos and pocket calendars (yes, I'm random like that).

But anyhow, I seriously do love occupying my walls with such stuff, especially when my desk is kept in a corner. At least I'm staring at gorgeous faces instead of a whitewashed wall (not that it's really whitewashed at the moment, considering how I've been staying here for close to two decades. Mmh.) so that I wouldn't go crazy.

That's not a very convincing argument, is it?

Gahhh I seriously need more space to put up stuff! I wish I had a room to myself =P

(Also, ignore the weird organisation of this post. I'm testing out the photo drag-and-drop function on the new blog post editor =P It makes things so much easier to post now~)

Stuck With You - Chapter 34 (Final)

2012-01-15T11:08:00.000+08:00

Chapter 34 ~ Final

“We have to get her back, Sungmin hyung,” Zhou Mi’s exasperated voice came from the other side of the line the moment Sungmin had answered the call, causing a frown to crease his forehead.

“Wait, Mi. What’s going on?” he asked, pulling himself into a sitting position on the bed. He could hear the other man slamming the car door in the background, before the rustling of keys informed him that Zhou Mi was fumbling with the ignition of his vehicle. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to drive when you’re in panic mode, Mi, or I’ll personally get there and kick your ass,” he growled instinctively.

“But this is important, hyung! There’s no time to waste!” The other man protested but Sungmin was having none of that.

“It’s either you pay attention to the road and fill me in with this whole thing when you get back, or you stay put and talk,” he countered sternly. The last thing he’d like to see was for any of his friends to get hurt. “I will end the call the moment I hear the engine coming alive.”

The resigned sigh that entailed moments later informed Sungmin that he had won the argument.

“Fine, hyung; I’ll sit here until this is through.”

“Good,” he nodded satisfactorily to himself, despite the fact that Zhou Mi wasn’t able to see it. “So what’s this commotion about?”

“They’re disbanding the group.”

“What?!” Sungmin yelled reflexively. “Which group are you talking about?”

“The Sapphire Project, hyung,” Zhou Mi muttered dryly, probably wondering whether Sungmin had thought that he was talking about their sub-group. It was impossible in the near future, especially with so many activities lined up for Super Junior-M.

“Oh,” came the simple answer moments later. The older man blinked in a confused manner, unsure of what he should think or say about the situation.

Zhou Mi made a disgruntled noise at his reply. “Is that really all you can say about this, hyung? Because I’m quite sure that the matter is on a pretty serious scale in my books,” he deadpanned.

Sungmin pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to come up with a reply that would not kick-start another verbal war. At least he hoped it wouldn’t. “What kind of reaction do you expect from me, Mi? Certainly you’re not hoping that I would run rampant in the dorms and break everything in my line of vision in a fit of rage, do you?” he retorted calmly, tone dripping with sarcasm.

“No, but–” the Chinese man began, only to heave another sigh after a split second’s contemplation. “Forget it. The point is, we need to bring Huiying back to Korea.”

He laughed mirthlessly. “What can we do if she doesn’t want to be found? The Korean public is still pissed at her for hiding her past, if you don’t remember,” Sungmin said, though he grimaced as the words slowly and steadily left his lips. Of course he wanted Huiying back – more so than everyone else – but it was probably best to keep her away from harm’s reach. He wanted to believe in that.

“If the disbandment is finalised, then there’s no place for her to return to in Korea, hyung. Don’t you see it? The company will drop her immediately, and that’s precisely what I’m trying to prevent from happening,” the Chinese man reasoned again.

That was when the realisation dawned upon Sungmin. ‘Singing for others is what I aspire to do ever since I could remember. My life would end the moment this luxury is taken away from me,’ Huiying had once told him.

His very action of wanting to keep her safe was probably akin to a double-edged sword; she would still be hurt either way, but the impact of each situation was the most important determinant of it all. What if she wanted to return, but had no means to do so? What if she thought that she wouldn’t be able to garner their support?

“What do you propose that we should do, then? We have to return to Taiwan tomorrow, and we’ll be completely swamped with schedules for another month and a half. There’s no way–”

“There is,” Zhou Mi interrupted decisively. “I’m leaving the hotel the first thing in the morning.”

“What?! You can’t–” Sungmin yelled out in protest, only to frown at his handphone when the call was ended abruptly. He was tempted to hurl the electronic device across the room in frustration, but held himself back just before he translated his thoughts into actions. He couldn’t afford the time to replace it in the event that it was smashed into pieces.

Flopping back down on his bed, Sungmin squeezed his eyes shut again, trying to ignore the headache that began to plague him. He could only hope that Zhou Mi wouldn’t do anything too brash.

* * * * *

She groggily ran a hand through her tousled hair, having been woken up by the sound of the doorbell ringing several times. She didn’t really care if she were to be seen with her hair unkempt and her face completely bare of makeup; it was most likely the local postman who had probably seen her several dozen times in such a condition anyway.

Suppressing a yawn, she sleepily rubbed her eyes to get rid of the tears that were formed as a result of her previous actions. However, the last bit of sleepiness was kick out of her system the moment she had opened the door. Had she not slammed it shut and secured the locks immediately, she probably would’ve died as a result of hyperventilating by now.

Huiying looked through the peephole once she was calm enough, only to hold her breath again when the person remained outside her house. She pressed her back against the door and slowly slid to the ground, feeling utterly confused about the turn of events.

Am I merely hallucinating? She wondered, but that thought was discarded when the man started banging on the door, calling out her name in a too-loud voice that made her jump in her position.

Huiying buried her head under her folded arms, trying to block out the man’s voice and the continuous hounding against the lacquered wooden surface.

All she wanted was for him to leave her alone. How was he able to find her anyway?

* * * * *

The frown was evident on his handsome features as he spun around in his position, wondering whether the taxi driver had actually dropped him at the correct location. The one-hour ride had brought him to the outskirts of Beijing, of which he hadn’t really expected.

Pursing his lips in thought, Zhou Mi adjusted his fedora slightly, trying to allow some aeration under the thick fabric. He was already sweating bullets within five minutes of standing under the scorching hot sun. Summer in China was much warmer than he had remembered it to be, but there was no way he could take off his hat despite the massive discomfort. The villagers were already staring at him way too much for comfort.

…maybe I should have dressed myself in t-shirt and jeans instead, he thought wryly to himself. He was definitely sticking out like a sore thumb right now in his coat.

Zhou Mi heaved a sigh and pretended as though the dozens of inquisitive eyes staring at him were non-existent, deciding to refocus his attention on the paper in his hand instead. His eyes, which were hidden behind a pair of shades, flickered between the object and the signboard ahead of him, trying to ascertain his location.

He exhaled again when the name of the village matched the words scribbled messily across the paper – it was a far cry from his usual handwriting, but he couldn’t complain for having to write on an uneven surface.

As he wondered whether the information given to him by Jin Ri was accurate, he began to walk.

* * * * *

The last bit of doubts in him dissipated into the thin air when Zhou Mi had finally found the designated house. Albeit brief, he was sure that he had caught Huiying’s sleepy visage answering the door before she had shut it in his face. There was no way he could make a mistake, having seen that look of hers day after day when they were back in their dorms.

It took him quite a while before he managed to recollect himself. But when he finally regained his senses, he immediately did the most logical thing he could think of – to pound at her door.

“Huiying? Ying! I know you’re in there!” he yelled at the top of his voice, not giving a damn that the villagers have now begun to converge in a distance away. He figured that they probably didn’t have too many strangers paying a visit to this small settlement, especially when it wasn’t even during the festive season. “Ying, open up, please!”

Zhou mi paused in his speech, allowing his laboured breathing to even out. It also served to allow Huiying some time to contemplate about her next course of action, and for him to gather his thoughts at the same time. There were so many things he wanted to say to her; he didn’t know where to start.

When no reply came, the Chinese man sighed for what was probably the hundredth time that morning. There was no way he could leave this place without expressing his feelings and concerns for Huiying. There was a large chance that he may not be able to return to this place in a long while; especially not after his manager Inhwan had just chewed him up for disappearing just hours ago. He could tell that he was in for a lot of trouble when his manager gave him the ultimatum to return to his dorm in Taiwan in nightfall.

He only had a couple of hours to spare, at best.

Deciding that he could not let this opportunity pass him by, Zhou Mi rapped his knuckles against the door again. “Huiying, I know you’re listening. Could you at least give me some form of response?” he breathed, this time moving to lean against the door.

Again, there was no answer.

He sucked in a deep breath. “I know you’re probably wondering how I managed to find you, but I think I shouldn’t reveal my sources,” he chuckled nervously, attempting to execute a different plan. “But seriously, you’re too good in playing hide and seek.”

More silence.

“I’ve missed you, so much,” Zhou Mi breathed. His voice was getting softer, but he had the feeling that she could hear him just fine. “Everyone misses you, and contrary to your belief, Sungmin does too. He still holds great regards for you, despite what he may have done to you during the press conference.

Zhou Mi snapped to his left when he heard a knock against the door, feeling hopeful that Huiying was finally going to answer the door and greet him appropriately. Nevertheless, he was left disappointed after several minutes of tense waiting. The door remained shut. She was being relentless in not seeing anyone.

Regardless, he decided to make another attempt. He wasn’t going to go down without putting up a fight. “I really have no idea what you have in mind, and I don’t know the reasons behind your refusal to see me. If I had to make a guess, I’d place my bets on the fact that your past was exposed by the tabloids.”

Zhou Mi chewed on his inner cheek, hoping that she wouldn’t be upset at him for bringing up the matter. It probably hurt her a lot to hear it, especially if she had come across the public outcry. He wasn’t too sure about the situation in China, but he certainly hoped that it was nowhere near the scale in Korea. Those comments were ruthless, and he grimaced at the memory of it.

“But if you think that I – and the rest of the guys, for that matter – hate you for not telling us this aspect of your past, then you’re wrong on a million levels,” he pushed on. “No one is disgusted; we know that you’re better than the old you, and we still love and respect you all the same. We’re not going to stop being friends with you just because of some habits that you have left behind by now.”

The Chinese man inhaled deeply at his next thought, hoping that if by any chance Huiying would disregard everything else he had said, she would at least listen to the words he was about to express. They were highly emotionally-charged, and contained his sincerest wishes.

“We’ll always be waiting for you, Ying. And when that day comes, we’ll all be by your side. We’ll help you convince everyone else that you are no longer that 15-year-old, naïve and misled Lin Huiying. Please, always remember that you have a place to return to – to Super Junior, and to The Sapphire Project,” he said slowly and steadily, willing himself not to be wavered by his emotions.

Another few minutes of waiting ensued after that, but Zhou Mi was faced with yet another wave of disappointment when the girl still refused to open up. He turned to press an open palm and his forehead against the door, swallowing the bitterness.

“I guess you’re still adamant at not seeing me, huh? I understand if you harbour some ill-feelings at me for ruining your relationship with Sungmin hyung. It’s okay,” he laughed while still trying to refrain from crying. It was difficult when his heart thumped painfully at every word. “Just remember that I’ll still wait for you, no matter how long it takes. I love you, Ying, and the feelings aren’t going to go away that easily. Goodbye.”

* * * * *

Her hands were close to being permanently plastered over her mouth; she was sobbing uncontrollably by now, the first tears having been triggered by the mere sound of his voice alone. It was an attempt to muffle her short bursts of inspiration; she was afraid to let him know that she was there, that she was listening to every word of his.

It evidently didn’t prevent him from pouring his heartfelt feelings out, however.

Yet when he bade his goodbye, the insurmountable feelings of guilt and regret overwhelmed her, eating her up from within. She began to chastise herself for allowing Zhou Mi to walk away without uttering a single word to him. She wanted to be selfish for once, to fall into his arms and weep openly – but she couldn’t.

She did not deserve his kindness at all.

That in itself triggered another surge of emotions within Huiying. She remembered how everyone else were more than ready to support her, and how Sungmin – Sungmin – still cared about her despite what he had done. She was convicted that he hated her for smoking and for doing drugs in the past, but what Zhou Mi had told her effectively landed those thoughts in doubts.

She didn’t know what to think about her situation any longer.

Huiying gasped in surprise when her house phone suddenly rang, momentarily rendering her disorientation. When she had regained her senses, she quickly clambered for the object, hoping that it was her mother on the other side of the line.

She was caught off-guard for the second time that day when a voice, deep and rich, uttered her name. again she covered her mouth in extreme shock, not knowing what to do or say. As the situation stands, she felt chills running beneath her skin, freezing her circulation, mind and body in position.

“Don’t hang up,” came the soft imperative after moments had passed them by, as if sensing what she had intended to do. In reality, Huiying still wasn’t able to come to terms with the events that had occurred.

Seeing Zhou Mi in flesh and hearing Sungmin’s sorely-missed voice was way too much for her to cope with in the short span of an hour.

In the end, she could only blurt one thing – why? – out in her shocked state. It was a question that she had been asking herself every single passing day, a query that held a vast amount of answers she did not have the key to. It wasn’t specific, but she desperately hoped that he knew what she wanted to hear.

It wasn’t as though she could muster any sentences longer than that anyway.

A short pause entailed, before Sungmin breathed noisily into the receiver. “Because I want to atone for all the hurt I might have caused you. I want to right the wrongs.”

Huiying flicked the solitary tear away and sniffed a little, trying to clear her already-congested nose. “How?” she muttered again, unable to stop herself from letting words slip off her tongue. It was an automated response, and she didn’t know whether she should hate herself for having such a weak resolve. She was previously determined to ignore her now ex-boyfriend outright, but that resolution was flushed down the drain.

“I know it’s difficult, and I know that saying ‘sorry’ probably can’t atone for everything I’ve done… But I’d still like to apologise for doing such a thing. It wasn’t fair for me to do so,” he replied.

The remorse was thick in his voice, and it sounded as though he was having an internal struggle at that particular moment. Huiying could guess as much, having dated him for half a year. She wished she could see his expressions, however.

“What do you intend to apologise for?” she laughed, as even more tears fell. “I never blamed you for anything, Ming. I understand that it’s perfectly natural for you to feel revolted by my past.”

“Huiying, that’s not true–” Sungmin panicked slightly; several deep breaths followed, telling her that he was trying to put a rein on his emotions. “I know that you’re not angry at me for keeping the fact that I had a fiancée from you – Mi told me everything. But I need you to know that I really don’t give a damn about what you’ve done when you were younger. I know that the Huiying that I fell in love with is no longer such a person.”

“Then why?” she reiterated, this time taking on a more hostile intonation. It didn’t make any sense to her; if he didn’t care about her past, then what fuelled his actions of announcing that he was breaking up with her on the press conference?

Sungmin kept silent again at that, and it touched a nerve in her. She didn’t see the point of him calling her up and not tell her a single thing about his motives. It was taxing for her to establish a conversation with him, especially when she couldn’t help but feel suffocated just by listening to his voice.

“If you don’t intend to answer to that, then I’m hanging up,” she declared, returning the receiver to its handle without giving the opportunity for him to say anything about it. Nevertheless, before Huiying could even walk away from the phone, it started ringing again.

She muttered silent curses at herself for being so weak-willed when she found herself answering the call. She was confused with her own desires; part of her wanted to have nothing to do with Sungmin, but another part of her desperately wanted to hang on to every single lifeline he was throwing in her direction.

“Ying, listen,” he pleaded, voice strained. “I’m doing all of this for your sake.”

“What nonsense are you talking about? If you truly had my best interests in mind, you wouldn’t have done it in such a cruel manner,” Huiying spat, though fresh tears found their way down her already-damp cheeks again. She somehow wished that there was a switch to her emotions where she could flick it off at any given time.

“I wanted to protect you, Huiying. Don’t you see? I can’t bear to see my fans hurt you because of a false perception on their part. I had to intervene before the matter escalated, and this was the best way I could think of to make them believe that I have cut off all ties with you. I didn’t want your safety to be jeopardised.”

“Well, you cutting all ties with me isn’t too far from the truth,” she laughed mirthlessly.

“Stop it,” Sungmin replied. “Stop pushing everyone who wants to care for you away. Don’t think that you’re not worth it, Ying, because you are – no matter what anyone else says about it. They can think that I’m being stupid, but they’re not the ones who know and understand you, Huiying.”

“What do you expect me to do then, Ming? To come back docilely and pretend that nothing happened? I can’t,” Huiying said, squeezing her eyes shut when she felt a sharp stabbing pain in her chest. Despite gaining the new knowledge that Sungmin was doing this for the sake of protecting her safety, she still couldn’t help but feel betrayed by his actions.

She ran a hand through her already-messy hair, pointlessly hoping that it could magically sort out her chaotic thoughts.

“I know, and I’m not forcing you to be my girlfriend again,” Sungmin admitted, much to Huiying’s surprise.

“What…?”

“Like I said, if you agree to return to Seoul, you are under no obligation to renew our relationship, regardless of how badly I want it to happen. I know of another person who can make you a lot happier than I can ever achieve. Again, I’m not insisting on this – it’s entirely your choice.”

Huiying blinked. “I still don’t get it, Sungmin.”

“I’m setting you free, Ying. Zhou Mi – I don’t know whether he has managed to locate you – he’s deathly worried about your condition, and I trust that his feelings for you are real. Don’t lie to your own heart; I know that your feelings for him are way stronger than they are for me. If there’s anyone that can make you happy, it’s him. You know that your happiness is my priority,” he whispered. “He’s taking the 4pm flight back to Taiwan. You could probably catch him if you leave now,” Sungmin added, then the line went dead.

The girl stared at the object in her hand for a short moment, biting her lip in contemplation. Within the next minute, she found herself dashing towards her room, racing against time to dress up decently for the first time in a long while.

* * * * *

He exhaled against the window and watched as his breath fogged up the glass, eyes stilling even though the images outside the moving vehicle flitted past him. He hadn’t dared utter a single word ever since he was piled into the car at the airport, fearing that he might trigger his manager’s tirade by any wrong choice of words on his part. Zhou Mi was fine with being ignored on the long car ride back to the dorms.

However, he also thought that the atmosphere was rather suffocating, what with Inhwan throwing angry glances every now and then in his direction. The older man didn’t have to say anything at all for Zhou Mi to know that he was extremely upset. He wanted to apologise for his reckless behaviour, but he didn’t know where to start.

His manager continued to give him the cold shoulder as they rolled into the compounds of Super Junior-M’s dorms for the remainder of their stay in Taiwan, hauling Zhou Mi’s luggage out of the back of the car and walking ahead without giving as much as a glance at the younger man.

Zhou Mi sighed. Inhwan was definitely using reverse psychology to guilt-trip him for disappearing on a whim. Deciding that being stuck in the same elevator with his still-angry manager wasn’t a good idea, the Chinese man decided to lag behind. Furthermore, he didn’t want – didn’t know how – to cope with the growing disappointment that his trip to the outskirts of Beijing was for naught. It was beginning to gnaw at him once again, having been suppressed by the tiring travelling he had done earlier.

His steps slowed down considerably in tandem with his thoughts. The tension within his muscles promptly loosened when the doors to the elevator slid to a close; he hoped that his manager wouldn’t come chasing after him, however.

Just as he was about to cook up a proper apology for his behaviour in his mind, Zhou Mi turned around when someone suddenly touched him on his arm. His eyes widened in response, mind instantly turning blank at the sight in front of him.

“Hi?” the shorter figure waved in an awkward manner, the guilty grin plastered on her face.

“You’re not a part of my hallucinations, are you?” was the first thing that came to his mind as he attempted to regain his senses. Nevertheless, the current string of occurrences made it close to impossible for him to do so.

Much to his surprise, the woman moved forward to give him a very painful pinch in his arm. He yelped out in pain and jumped backwards in response, furiously rubbing the sore spot as he continued eyeing the figure in a suspicious manner.

“Am I an illusion to you?” she frowned, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Yes…?” he answered hesitantly, raising his arms defensively when she threatened to repeat her previous actions. “Okay! You’re not an illusion!”

“Good,” the woman nodded gleefully. “So…”

“What are you doing here?” was his next question, causing the frown on the woman’s face to deepen.

“Am I not welcomed?”

“What– no!” Zhou Mi panicked. “I mean, of course you’re welcomed here. I’m just… I’m confused. Seriously, honestly confused.”

She chuckled a little at that. “Is it important for you to know how I managed to end up here?”

“Not really, no, but I’m still curious,” he replied. “Especially after you flat-out refused to see me earlier this afternoon, Huiying.”

His duet partner bit on her lip, contemplating about what to say. “Well… since you’re protecting the identity of your informant, I shall do the same,” Huiying grinned. “But anyway, someone called me up and reminded me to put my priorities into perspective,” she then explained, a pensive smile taking over her features. “And they’ve made me think about the most important things in my life.”

“So… you’re here to look for Sungmin?” he asked. There was a dull ache emanating from his chest, but Zhou Mi duly ignored it. He had learned to do so ever so often in the past. It wasn’t difficult when he put his mind to it.

Huiying threw her hands into the air in exasperation, sighing loudly. “God, I didn’t know you were this dense, Mi.”

“I can’t help it if you’re being so complicated for me to understand,” he mirrored her expressions, feeling slightly miffed at her accusation.

“If I’m here for Ming, do you think I’d still be standing here, talking to you? I’ve been here for quite a while, you know,” she pointed out, quirking an eyebrow at him.

“No…?” Zhou Mi answered hesitantly again. “I still don’t get it.”

She rolled her eyes, taking a step closer to him. “Shut up, Mi. You’re hopeless in guessing intentions. I guess you’re stuck with me from now on,” Huiying merely stated, before pressing her lips against his.

She smiled against his lips when she could hear him say "I wouldn't have it any other way", feeling elated that everything was beginning to seem brighter.

Fragments of a Memory - Chapter 3

2012-01-14T15:07:00.000+08:00

Chapter 03

“Wake up, sunshine,” a voice giggled next to his ear, and a warm pair of arms snaked around his bare waist. Without sparing any thoughts, he also wrapped an arm around the person who was clinging onto him, pulling her closer to him on the very comfortable king-sized bed of his.

There was definitely no place like home.

“Kyuhyun, seriously, get your lazy bum out of bed this instant,” the voice said again, this time sounding sterner than before. He cracked an eye open at this juncture, eyeing the figure in bed with him, a disappointed pout on his face.

“Aww, baby, I feel so loved,” he commented sarcastically with a tint of exasperation, pressing a hand against his chest over where his heart was beating to prove his point. “I just got back yesterday. Don’t you think you should cut me some slack?”

Hyeonmin pretended to think for a short moment, before prying herself out of his embrace albeit fully reluctantly. “It’s because you’re back after so many months that I want to spend more time with you being awake instead of having you sleep away, Kyuhyun. It’s already an hour past noon. The breakfast I’ve prepared has gone cold,” she frowned, remembering how he didn’t even budge when she nudged him earlier. She could only wonder whether he was able to get any sleep at wherever he came from.

Even though she was curious about the circumstances surrounding Kyuhyun’s reappearance, especially how she was dead sure that he had disappeared for good – at least to the naked eye – three months ago, Hyeonmin decided not to enquire about it. To her, there was nothing else that mattered, as long as he was back.

She was thankful that she did not decide to give up hope that he would return, although she was dangerously close to doing so. Others may think that she was hopeless, but Hyeonmin decided that there was a need for her to reciprocate his trust in her then, when he desperately wished that she would not doubt his feelings for her.

“Fine, only because you asked,” Kyuhyun finally yawned and stretched moments later, pulling her into a long-drawn kiss as he sat up on the bed. He grinned satisfactorily when Hyeonmin smiled giddily at his actions and fell onto the bed in a smiling mess, pulling his shirt and pants on before he disappeared into the bathroom.

There was a sense of déjà vu when Kyuhyun sat across Hyeonmin at the dining table ten minutes later, with a plate of pork cutlets set on the table between them. The only distinctive point was that he was no longer an angel of death now, and that the relationship between him and Hyeonmin was significantly different right now.

A few months of separation, two longing hearts, and one passionate kiss was more than enough to change things.

“So how are my cooking skills? Did it get better with time, or did it deteriorate by a lot? I haven’t been cooking much since you left,” Hyeonmin asked eagerly when Kyuhyun placed the first slice of meat into his mouth.

He wanted to reply ‘I know’ to her in referral to the last part of her sentence, though he kept that to himself. She didn’t have to know that he was monitoring her closely while he was still in the realm of death. In the end, Kyuhyun decided to be funny, chewing the pork cutlet slowly and held it in his mouth, pretending to be savouring the taste of the dish as though he was tasting wine.

Nevertheless, he groaned painfully and clutched his shin a full minute later, shooting a glare at the girl seated across him when the initial pain had subsided. Hyeonmin had apparently caught on to his antics, and decided to speed up his answering process on her own.

“Why did you do that for?” he cried foul, still massaging the sore spot on his left leg.

Hyeonmin childishly stuck out her tongue at him. “I asked you a question, Kyu, and I expect to get an answer in return,” she declared, this time grinning innocently at him. He frowned at her without missing a beat.

“I don’t remember you to be this aggressive, baby,” he commented with a smirk, knowing full well that she wasn’t anticipating what would be coming out of his mouth next. “The aggressiveness should be channelled elsewhere, like say… when you’re in bed.”

As expected, Hyeonmin turned beet red at Kyuhyun’s words, hiding her face behind the sleeves of her sweater immediately. “Shut up and eat, Kyuhyun,” she mumbled miserably, completely regretting everything she had said up till then. Sometimes the man could be so sweet to her that she would forget that he had this sarcastic, witty side to him.

He eyed her for a moment longer as he stuffed another piece of meat into his mouth, swallowing it at once when he noticed the pout on her face. Kyuhyun mentally slapped himself when he recalled everything he had done that particular morning, realising that he hadn’t been the nicest person in the world to her. It’s just that he was so comfortable being around her, to the point at which he could truly be himself whenever he was with her.

Without sparing another thought, he settled his chopsticks on the table and got up from his seat. Hyeonmin, on the other hand, appeared to be rather distracted still, as she didn’t seem to have noticed his movements. She was still staring blankly into the distance, her expressions looking less than happy. It was an expression which Kyuhyun didn’t want her to wear when they were together. He was, after all, back to make her happy.

Heaving a sigh, Kyuhyun lowered himself slightly and snaked his arms down her front, hugging her tightly despite him being in a rather awkward position. A surprised gasp escaped her lips when he could feel his warmth enveloping her, and she looked up at him with a questioning expression.

He took the opportunity to catch her lips in a light, chaste kiss, before turning her around to face him completely. “I’m sorry if I made you upset with what I said, Min. It’s just that… I keep forgetting that there are things which aren’t proper when I talk to the opposite gender,” he smiled wryly, though Kyuhyun quickly amended his words when he realised how they could be taken in the wrong way. “I’m not saying that I don’t think you’re feminine enough, though…! I’m just comfortable being myself around you. You’re important to me, Min; nothing’s going to change that fact.”

To his surprise and confusion, Hyeonmin burst out laughing upon hearing what she thought was an awkward, yet cheesy and adorable confession rolled into one. She cupped his face with her hands, pulling him in for yet another kiss to tell him that she wasn’t upset. He lit up like a Christmas tree at the reassurance.

“Silly Kyu,” she teased with a chuckle, eyes crinkling in amusement. “I’m not offended by your words – it’s part and parcel of who you are. Do you think I haven’t experienced enough of that yet when we first met?”

Kyuhyun pondered over her words for a brief moment, shrugging when he realised how true they were. He was indeed nothing less than mean to Hyeonmin when he first joined her company after all. “Well, I guess you do have a point…” he agreed easily. He wanted to point out how fun it was to tease her and push her buttons whenever he had the opportunity to do so, but decided that she already knew about it.

Hyeonmin could after all read the intentions behind his actions rather clearly sometimes. Sometimes.

“Of course I do,” she chirruped haughtily, brandishing the brightest smile at him when he let out a snort.

“Then why were you zoning off earlier? You really had me worried back there,” he frowned, absentmindedly playing with her hands. She bit on her lip as she watched him, trying to string the words together.

“I was just wondering… how long will this last? I mean, everything just feels so surreal to me, especially the fact that you’re back,” Hyeonmin enumerated her worries. Although she initially hesitated whether she should bring up the matter to him, she decided to go ahead with it. She wanted to make sure that the world she was living in right now isn’t a part of her private fantasies. She wanted to know; to be assured that this was real.

Kyuhyun smiled softly at her, caressing her cheek gently. “You don’t have to worry, Hyeonmin. I’m back for good. I’m real, and I need you to trust me on this. I know that it’s difficult to wrap your head around this for now, but I’m here,” he said, voice on the verge of breaking when the emotions overpowered him. It was definitely stronger than the feelings he had experienced several months ago.

It was also one of the reminders that he himself wasn’t dreaming – alongside the fact that he no longer had the abilities of an angel of death – that he was back as a human. Kyuhyun knew that it sounded rather pathetic, especially considering the fact that he was the one who wanted to be human again. However, through his past experiences, he could never really trust his master at all.

“I know,” she breathed. “I’m sorry, I’m the one who’s being completely silly now,” Hyeonmin shook her head with a chuckle.

“You’re not,” Kyuhyun disagreed. “Your worries are completely justifiable. I know that this is all too supernatural to begin with, but we can make this work, can’t we?”

“We definitely can, though before we can restart our journey, there’s something we have to do,” she mused, causing Kyuhyun to quirk an eyebrow at her.

“And what exactly is that?”

“Eat,” Hyeonmin stated bluntly, before abruptly stuffing a slice of the long-forgotten pork cutlet into his mouth. She immediately broke into a run for his bedroom when he chased after her for revenge, leaving her in a burst of giggling fits.

* * * * *

“I don’t see how you’re able to tolerate such injustice without saying a word about it,” she commented disinterestedly, watching as the man went about his assigned tasks like a true slave. “Such a pitiful fall from grace.”

He stopped in the middle of his tracks and glared sharply at the woman. “I didn’t know that angels of death come with human emotions now. Did Master suddenly decide to reactivate them for his own amusement?” he asked. Human emotions were easily recognisable to him now, having spent a large amount of time lingering around those beings which he would gladly term as ‘pathetic excuses for a living’.

“Apparently so,” she shrugged at his query. “He’s always doing things according to his whims and fancies. Also, you have not answered my question,” the woman added, disappearing for a split second before reappearing next to him.

“Well then. Do you actually expect me to be able to do something about this? Master meted out this punishment–”

“–Actually, a certain Cho Kyuhyun did–” she corrected him, but was duly ignored. He did not appreciate that particular name being mentioned in front of him. If he still had half his abilities intact, he wouldn’t have had any second thoughts in crushing this woman’s throat. Anything at all to stop her from yapping away.

“Like I was saying,” he stressed. “Master was the one who approved of this punishment. Surely he expects me to work like a slave for several hundred years before he would even reconsider doing anything about it. You know how much he loathes it when any one of us disputes his decisions.”

“True, anyone but Cho Kyuhyun would be lucky to escape his wrath and be able to live on to tell it,” she agreed, having no shame in curling her body around him seductively.

Ever since they were imbued with emotions again, she had been feeling particularly attracted to this man she had her fingers around. It wasn’t something that was familiar to her, yet that was precisely why she yearned to delve deeper into it.

“One more mention of that accursed name, and you’re going to regret it Hyorin,” he snapped, trembling with the emotion which he recognised as fury. Apparently his master didn’t spare the slaves from the humane aspect either. He thoroughly disliked the feeling, as it messed up his judgment and rationality greatly. He hated the fact that their master was just using them as mere playthings even more.

“What do you think you can achieve even if I do repeat his name repeatedly?” she purred, pressing her face close enough to his for their lips to brush against each other’s when either of them spoke. He didn’t seem to be particularly fazed by her actions. “Your abilities now are only a quarter of what I have. You would lose your life even before you can raise a finger,” Hyorin added lazily, biting lightly on his lower lip and reappeared at a distance away before he could even react to it.

His eyes were narrowed as he traced his lip with the tip of his finger, spitting out the blood Hyorin had drawn from his lip as a result of her actions in a frustrated manner. He wanted to retort against her words, but couldn’t. She could read his mind clearly; there wasn’t much of a point in coming up with arguments.

“What exactly is your goal in approaching me, Hyorin?” he finally questioned cautiously. Even though the female angel would appear around him frequently in the past, there was something in her advances that particular day which piqued his curiosity greatly.

“I was beginning to wonder when you were going to ask. Looks like your senses aren’t completely dulled yet, Chungho,” she smirked.

“Cut the crap. I’m not interested in such blatant baiting,” he growled.

Hyorin rolled her eyes at that, though she wrapped her arms around his neck a split second later. Chungho was about to ask what she was up to, when he stiffened at the words being whispered into his ear.

Cho Kyuhyun is no longer an angel of death.

Frozen In Time

2012-01-13T10:04:00.002+08:00

Author's Note:
So I know that Christmas is over, but it's never too late for a Christmas-related fic anyway, right? This is actually a gift for the lovely KyU Is L♥Ve, but she has given the consent for me to post it up :D

Anyway, for those of you wondering about the background of the shot, I actually had dancing in the pouring rain in mind as I wrote this, so you could say that this is somewhat of a sequel to that one-shot of mine. However, this can also be considered as a stand-alone, if you're too lazy to read the other story lol.

That being said, I hope you'll enjoy this simple piece of musing of mine ♥

Frozen in Time

A pensive smile lingered on his lips as he walked through the snow-covered pavement, eyes darting everywhere as he took inw the breath-taking view.

The streets were rather deserted at that particular moment, as he had noticed. In a nearby chapel, the sound of church bells rang and resonated through the air, signifying the start of the Christmas morning mass. He figured that most of the citizens were probably congregated in their respective places of worship that morning, thanking the Lord and offering their prayers for yet another blessed year ahead.

The man stuffed his gloved hands in the pockets of his winter jacket, trying to keep them protected from the frigid atmosphere. His eyes then wandered around again as he continued strolling down the street, thinking to himself that wow, this place has changed a lot since I’ve left. Even his favourite store was no longer located in the vicinity, and for that reason alone, he was a little upset.

He had wanted to get himself a steaming hot cup of hot chocolate to warm himself up. The café was the only place he would gladly purchase the drink without complaining about things like no, this doesn’t taste right or this is too sweet or a million other reasons for him to wander back to the cosy little shop he loved to throng.

No one needed to know that it was the place where he had first met the other person five years ago, jogging up to the cashier with a bright smile on his face and a cheery greeting that brightened up the whole world.

He sighed again as he picked up his steps, before coming to a stop in front of yet another shop. This time, the smile took over his expressions again as he gazed at the glass windows of the toy store. It was yet another place that held dozens of memories for him, most of which comprised of phrases such as no; you don’t need another toy soldier in your collection we don’t have any more spaces on the bookshelf! and how old are you agains, and perhaps even a you already have that stuffed somewhere at the back of your closet, yes I’m sure, why don’t you go and search for it when we get home because that particular toy was something he had bought for that person. Of course he would remember better.

He therefore tried to push past the door which made a tinkling sound whenever someone moved it, having every intention to purchase a gift which would probably end up collecting dust in a corner of his room, only to frown when it didn’t budge. His gaze finally fell on the signage that wished everyone a happy holiday and mentioned that business would only resume in several days’ time.

A soft grunt escaped his throat. Of course. It was Christmas. No one with a happy family and of sound mind would be doing business at this time of the year, when they could bask in the warmth of delicious meals and the company of their loved ones.

He grunted again and made his way elsewhere.

Several more blocks down from the toy shop, the skinny man came to a stop for the third time that morning. He craned his neck as he looked up at the tall building, a bitter smile pulling up on the corner of his lips. He vaguely wondered whether that person was still occupying the same old unit here, but talked himself out of it.

It has been four years since he left Seoul without telling anyone else. Who was he kidding? The person had probably moved on, and so should he. He was, after all, the person who had walked away in the first place.

Yet another sigh escaped his lips at the thought, his warm breath turning into smoke when it met the cold winter air. He tugged on his scarf, blinking away the tears that were threatening to form.

Just as he was about to leave, he froze in position when a familiar but surreal voice called after him.

“Hyukkie?” The voice had asked, a mixture of disbelief and surprise.

Everyone else called him Hyukjae or Eunhyuk, but there was only one person in his life who would call him Hyukkie. A shiver ran down his spine at the thought, not because of the cold, but because of the sense of nostalgia.

Hyukjae shook his head with a laugh, thinking that it was a mere illusion on his part. There was no way that person would still be living around here. I must be missing him way too much for my own good, he told himself. Not good.

He was about to take yet another step forward, when the voice rang in his ears again – this time crisper, clearer, and louder than before. There was no way he could believe that this wasn’t happening. “Hyukkie, I know that it’s you,” the other man said, sounding desperate. “Don’t run away from me, please.”

“I… I have no right to see you,” Hyukjae choked, bowing his head down low in another effort to hold back the tears.

“What are you talking about? You’re back, that’s all it matters,” the man replied, this time taking cautious steps through the snow in Hyukjae’s direction. He couldn’t risk having the person he had been searching for all this while to disappear from his sights. Not again.

“I don’t deserve to be forgiven this easily. You don’t have to be nice to me after what I’ve done to you,” Hyukjae commented again, though he gasped in surprise when the other man’s arms snaked around his waist, effectively holding him in position. His guilty conscience gnawed at him, yet he couldn’t ignore the calmness that accompanied the back hug.

He felt as though he had found his place once again.

Hyukjae nuzzled his cheek against the other man’s, who had rested his chin on the dancer’s shoulder. He sighed contentedly at the warmth that enveloped him, wondering whether he was living in reality. He didn’t want this illusion to end.

“I told you, Hyukkie,” the other man reiterated in a soft whisper, his grip around Hyukjae’s waist tightening. “What matters the most is that you’re back. I don’t care about anything else. I can ignore your four-year absence, if that’s going to make you stay.”

They stayed in silence for a short moment, before the other man plastered a smile on his face. Although Hyukjae did not respond to his indirect question, he knew that the dancer was here to stay. The gloved hand resting on his forearm was more than enough indication of it.

The younger man heaved a contented sigh at that; another shiver was sent down Hyukjae’s spine as his warm breath tickled his ear. “Merry Christmas, Hyukkie.”

Hyukjae smiled sincerely for the first time ever since he could remember, wishing that this moment could remain frozen in time.

“Merry Christmas, Hae.”

Life and the Beauty of Medical Education

2012-01-12T19:49:00.000+08:00

Many a time, we probably don't learn much about life and its importance in our basic subjects way back in school. I don't know about you, but I don't think I remember studying much about this aspect in primary or high school.

The closest I can get to studying about life itself was through Biology which, of course, back in those days consists of memorising, memorising, and more memorising. Teachers in school don't really delve into the importance and the beauty of life, aside from the basic processes and the lot which are needed to sustain life (i.e., only talking about our exam syllabus, lol.)

But I guess that's the plus point of being in medical school.

Of course, there are times when the life in medical school is so tough and hectic to the point that thoughts like Ah, I feel like giving up or Why in hell did I choose to do this degree again? would cross my mind. I'd be lying with my eyes wide opened if I were to say that. After all, it's the reality (and common knowledge) that Medicine is a pretty cut-throat course - financially and academically.

When such negative thoughts appear, I'm glad that there are subjects or talks that make me realise and remember why I chose this course in the first place - the beauty of saving a human life. I think 4th year has been, particularly, a year full of soul-searching and propelling myself back into reality so that I can stay on track with my ambition.

Yes, the beauty of saving a human life - or attempting to make life happier for patients, whichever you please. That is the main reason why I have such a great passion for Medicine.

I've sat through a talk on Palliative Care (of which I have really learned a lot about the field, and the wonders of Palliative Care during the two-hour talk) during my Family Medicine posting. It was a shame that the talk was so short, but honestly, sitting through it made me see how terminally ill patients don't have to suffer until their death, provided that palliative care is given at an early stage to prepare them adequately. It really hurts to see the ailing being abandoned, and for their lives to wane in such a manner.

But that's a different story altogether.

I had a talk on Organ Transplantation today. Not gonna lie, but I've actually had thoughts about pledging my organs for donation for years now. The main thing that stands between those considerations and actually signing up to be an organ donor is the concerns about how I should put forth the proposal to my family members without sounding as though I'm having extremely morbid thoughts.

Jokes aside, the doctor who gave us the talk today enlightened us even more about how other patients who are in dire need of a new (well, not so new) organ in order to sustain their lives can benefit if perhaps, just a couple more people would pledge their organs to be donated. Of course, seeing the figures of road accident deaths and comparing it to the actual number of cadaveric organ donations, it paints a grim picture about the state of organ donation in our country.

I honestly hope that this could change in the future, where people who are in organ failure could actually receive a new life from these donated organs.

It's all about giving a second chance to the people who have the ability to do so, is it not?

4 관 왕 ♥

2012-01-11T22:06:00.002+08:00

All the disappointment and anguish felt in the 2010 awards ceremony - just a little more than a year ago - have been flushed down the drain. Those tears of sadness and unjust have been replaced by those of joy and happiness.Those forced smiles back then are long-forgotten, now with sincere, thankful beams on their faces.

결 국 에 대 상 을 받 았 어.

Everything we've been working hard for last year has finally paid off. Congratulations boys, you've bagged the biggest award (and the one you've been craving for and wanting the most) this year ♥

实至名归。

:)

I'm Walking To The Day.....

2012-01-09T20:14:00.001+08:00

... or rather, I'm walking every single day.

I'm actually doing my Psychiatry posting in KLGH at the moment. Of course, being of perfectly sane mind (no pun intended), I flat-out refuse to drive all the way to the heart of KL where the traffic jams are good enough as a mental torture. Goodness knows how much I loathe getting stuck in traffic jams, considering the fact that I had to face it close to a daily basis while I was doing my 2nd and 3rd years when I was mostly based in Cyberjaya and Putrajaya.

So in other words, I opted to take the public transport. Not to say that I have 100% faith in these modes of transport, but it's the only way I can get to the hospital without having to face the stressor every single day. Hence why lots and lots of walking is involved right now. 15 minutes for me to get from Dang Wangi to Bukit Nanas, and another 15 from Chow Kit to the hospital itself.

My legs hurt like fuck now I can barely feel them. My joints are protesting so much that even painkillers aren't being of much help.

Oh dear, I sound old.

Hmm? Psychiatry? It's interesting, but that warrants a different post altogether :D I'll see whether I remember, haha!

Changing Spectacles

2012-01-07T18:24:00.001+08:00

Haha I'm being random.

It's been such a long while since I've had framed spectacles :)

Wondering what I might've chosen? Hmm, let me just tease you guys a bit.

:(

2012-01-07T12:16:00.001+08:00

I hate taking medications.. Especially if it's 2tab tds in 4 different medications.

Not So Desirable...

2012-01-07T11:15:00.000+08:00

.... start of the new year, of course.

Well, it hasn't been a particularly rosy first week for me. I'm not talking about the beginning of my 2nd semester for 4th year, though (I think I might actually enjoy Psychiatry, minus the tiring travelling and class times, hehe!), but rather what I've been through for the past week.

Or past day, really.

So yes, yesterday and today were not too decent for me, beginning with how our classes stretched from 8am till 7pm. Thank goodness we managed to grab some long breaks in between, otherwise you might see me zombified by the end of the day. I'm actually surprised that I didn't fall asleep or doze off in class though, given how little sleep time I managed to clock in on the previous night.

Anyway, the exam results for our previous semester, which I took roughly 3 weeks ago, were released while we were still in class. Of course, I was rather afraid to look at it, considering the fact that I think I didn't do well for my Orthopaedics OSCE and Theory examinations. But I was really relieved that I managed to get a B+ for both my subjects, and hopefully my CGPA could be pulled up, even if it's just slightly.

Also, the greatest part of yesterday (do note the sarcasm) came in the part of my car battery actually dying. Thank goodness my classmates were still around, and they helped me jumpstart my car as well. Otherwise I'll probably be stranded in college at night, haha. That is very scary FYI. We have a Dissection Hall and that pretty much says it all. Thanks guys!!

And well, today I woke up with a start at 6.20am with severe bouts of nausea and epigastric pain (sorry, medical student descriptions kicking in). Thought it might've been a gastric attack and I'd be better with some food, but two bites on the cream cracker down and I was already in the bathroom -.- I hate throwing up, seriously. Right now I'm still having nausea, and hopefully I can go for my Korean classes later. Sigh~

Sad life, I hate getting ill. I hope my year gets better as it goes.

好烦也

2012-01-04T10:09:00.001+08:00

Some people need to learn how not to pry too deep in other people's private matters. You shouldn't be commenting on things that you have no idea about to begin with, let alone give suggestions when no one asked you about it.

Do you think we're stupid or what?

There's a demarcation between being genuinely concerned and being downright condescending and annoying. Right now, you're just plain getting on my nerves. Gtfo.

无药可救

2012-01-03T21:28:00.002+08:00

The stupidity of some people is absolutely amazing.

Fragments of a Memory - Chapter 2

2012-01-02T10:34:00.002+08:00

Chapter 02

He ran a finger across the glass display shelf, smiling slightly as he browsed through the items on sale. To say that he was happy for being able to feel the items of the human world with the pads of his digits was an understatement. He grimaced slightly at the memory of his hand going through every single object that he tried to hold, having his full angel of death powers intact. That was during his first and only assignment that wasn't related to her after his return as a full-fledged angel of death. It wasn’t something he would have liked to relive after spending a full year in the living realm being able to do otherwise.

Turning around slightly in his position, he scanned through the other items in the shop, trying to determine whether there was anything worth getting. It was difficult to concentrate when his spine was tingling, indicating that people were staring at him. He had the urge to influence them to stop with his powers, but it was impossible now.

He was now as human as the rest of the patrons of the gift shop. No extra senses, no ability to control minds. Getting his angel of death abilities completely stripped from him was a price he had to pay in order to return to the human world. It was something which he was more than glad to give up.

He chuckled silently to himself at the irony of things, especially at how angels of death were supposed to lack richer human emotions. Look where he had eventually ended up at – in love with the very person he was supposed to kill. The strong feelings even caused him to throw away everything he had in the realm of death, but he wasn't regretting his decisions. She was far more important to him than powers and authority would ever be.

Just as he was about to step out of the shop empty handed, he paused in his steps when something at the corner of his eye caught his attention. A smile pulled up on the corner of his lips, thinking that he had finally found what he was looking for. It was the perfect item to surprise her with, and at the same time it would be easy for her to make a connection between it and his return.

He didn’t know whether he was merely being delusional, but he could see that she hadn’t really moved on after he had disappeared on her three months ago. From his observations, although she seemed normal while she was out and about, she would often return to her apartment after work and clutch onto the one and only photo they had taken together. She would also religiously clean his unoccupied apartment next door every single week, even though there was a huge chance that he wouldn’t even appear in the living world ever again.

After paying for the gift and the box to put the object in, he politely asked the staff manning the counter for a pen so that he could scribble something on the card, before taking off from the shop. He threw a glance over his shoulder with his eyes narrowed seconds later, however, feeling that someone was still observing him intently.

He couldn’t put a finger on what was giving him the uneasy vibe, but it was significantly different from the way the customers were casting curious glances at him in the store. It was stronger, more oppressive, and somewhat filled with hatred – for reasons unknown. It felt familiar to him, yet he couldn’t wrap his mind around why or who was making his senses tingle in such a manner.

Frowning slightly, he then shrugged and walked away when the feeling suddenly disappeared.

* * * * *

He had a wistful look lingering on his face as he inspected his surroundings, the nostalgia attacking him in successive waves. Even though it had only been a mere three months since he had left this place, Kyuhyun realised just then how much he missed his apartment complex. It had been the place he called home for close to a year after all, and also a venue where the most important things revolving around his previously-temporary human life had occurred.

Above all, the person he loved was probably behind this very door he was standing outside at this very particular moment. He had no reassurances about her whereabouts; he could no longer sense her presence as easily as he could before. Rather, it would be more appropriate for him to say that he could no longer feel her presence at all. It was something that he had to get used to from now on.

Checking his reflection in the window overlooking the hallway, which revealed a person in a cap and black polo shirt, Kyuhyun smirked slightly as he wondered how she would handle his return. Then again, there was another part of him that felt horribly insecure all of a sudden, however, as the paranoia surged within him.

What if she refused to see him?

What if she thinks that this gift was a sick practical joke that the neighbour’s kids were playing on her (they could be quite the devils when they put their mind to it)?

What if she was dense enough (at least from his memories of her, she was quite the brick wall) to not realise the hidden meaning behind the gift?

What if she rejects him as a payback for his abrupt departure?

Kyuhyun’s stomach churned at the thoughts, sincerely hoping that he was just overthinking things. Since he was the one who brought this upon himself – first with his master and now Hyeonmin – he decided that he should just face the consequences of his actions like a real man. There was no turning back for him, nothing to be regretted about unless he leaves without saying a word about his return.

Then again, if he were to take his leave, he would never know whether his fears were unfounded.

Kyuhyun pulled off his cap for a short moment and ran a hand through his hair to calm his nerves, before casting a glance at the small package which was tucked neatly beneath his arm. He crossed his finger, hoping that Hyeonmin would at least get what he was trying to tell her. He had conveniently forgotten to write his name on the card in his hastiness to leave the gift shop earlier, but it was too late for him to open the package right now.

Cho Kyuhyun, strike one for making stupid mistakes upon his return.

He made a mental note to be a lot more vigilant in the things he would do in the future, considering the fact that he no longer had any ounce of special abilities left to rectify his actions as per needed. He sucked in a deep breath a split second later, mustering just enough courage to plant his feet firmly on the ground and rang the bell.

Even without his superior sense of hearing, it wasn’t difficult for Kyuhyun to know that she was scrambling across the house, probably lounging around in the balcony just moments ago. The amount of noise she was making in there – including the clanging of the bottom portion of a porcelain mug against a glass surface – made him chuckle. He could only silently hope that she wouldn’t injure herself in the process. God knew how clumsy as a person she was at times.

Moments later, the door finally creaked open, revealing a slightly dishevelled Hyeonmin from behind. Kyuhyun held his breath at the sight of her, suddenly at a loss about what he should feel. He thought he had prepared himself mentally to see her again, but gazing at her at such a close distance, he found that he couldn’t even think. He couldn’t even breathe.

All he wanted to do was to kiss her senseless right then and there, but it took him every last bit of his self-control to rein himself in. He also wanted to compliment her, to tell her that she had grown to be even more beautiful than he remembered her to be, though that would have to wait until she actually realised that he was back. That he was here.

“Um, good afternoon?” her voice, crystal clear in his ears, spoke up and shook him out of his thoughts. “May I help you?”

Kyuhyun blinked for a while, trying to come up with the script that would usually be recited by the courier service deliverymen whenever they came knocking at his door. His mind went blank when Hyeonmin had appeared, and now he was trying desperately to kick start his brain again. If anything, he was slightly thankful that she didn’t seem to have recognised him for now; otherwise the element of surprise would be destroyed.

“Oh, uh, good afternoon to you too. I’m here to deliver a package. Are you by any chance Miss Yong Hyeonmin?” he blurted out after clearing his throat, doing his best to change his voice slightly. He was also attempting to prevent himself from bursting out in laughter. Calling Hyeonmin by her full name with an honorific was just too weird to him. It had been ages since he had done that after all.

“Yes, I am…” she replied hesitantly, eyeing Kyuhyun in a suspicious manner. It was as though she saw right through his disguise upon further scrutinising, but the look on her face was more of a mixture of disappointment and confusion. Who exactly was she expecting for?

“Well, then could you please sign right here for me?” Kyuhyun lied again, lamely grabbing a blank piece of paper out of his jeans pocket when he suddenly remembered that there was supposed to be a paper for the recipient to sign on.

Stupid mistakes – 2; Cho Kyuhyun – 0.

Hyeonmin again stared at the white piece of paper with a weird expression on her face, eyes flickering to Kyuhyun’s partially covered face for a split second before returning her gaze onto the paper being placed on top of her package. She was probably wondering where all the required information were, but he was fully prepared to apologise that the ink had somehow faded off.

Nevertheless, he was actually taken aback when Hyeonmin proceeded to place her signature and identification details on the paper without querying about anything else. He could only muster a confused nod in reply when she thanked him, still standing there blinking at the door which was closed just seconds later.

His composure was regained after several more moments later when he had finally wrapped his head around the situation. Deciding that there wasn’t much of a point lingering in the hallways when he had already accomplished what he came to do, and considering about the fact that he would raise the suspicions of the other occupants of his floor if he continued to lurk outside Hyeonmin’s house, Kyuhyun turned on his heels to leave.

He pulled his cap off and grasped tightly onto it as he walked away, wondering whether Hyeonmin would immediately unwrap the package. The thoughts and deliberations and scepticism filled his head, each of them making him more uneasy by the moment. When he thought about it seriously, he really had no clue whether Hyeonmin would understand what the gift signified.

It was a kangaroo soft toy; his mascot for a concert years ago. There were probably only a handful of people who could still make the association between the animal and Cho Kyuhyun at this time and age, but he wanted to believe that she was one of them. She was, after all, first and foremost his fan, before she became his love interest.

He looked up again at a nonspecific spot of the exterior of the apartment complex when he had arrived at the ground floor, suddenly having an insane urge to camp downstairs. A part of him told him that there was a possibility that she might have gotten the hint, and would come searching for him at once. He wasn’t sure whether he was plain being delusional, or whether his sixth sense was right, but he felt compelled to at least try his luck.

It didn’t take long for his hopes to be fulfilled, however, because the very familiar back view of Hyeonmin’s body came into plain sight. He brightened up at once, feeling extremely elated that his trust in her was justified. She did get the hint, and she did come looking for him even though it was probably futile lest he decided to walk away just like that.

Kyuhyun looked on in amusement as she turned around in almost every direction, most definitely trying to locate him. What made him laugh even more was the fact that she didn’t even bother turning backwards even once. That was precisely where he stood.

Nevertheless, Hyeonmin gave up on her attempts soon enough, because she started dragging herself back into the apartment complex with her head hung low. That was when the panic alarm sounded in his head, telling him to make a move as soon as possible before she disappeared from his sights again. He did just that, taking fast strides forward in order to catch her just in time.

“Took you long enough to get down here,” he mused with the voice he was sure she could recognise without fail. She paused in her steps upon hearing him speak, though Kyuhyun couldn’t really decipher her expressions when her back was facing him. A moment’s hesitation was all that was needed for Hyeonmin to start walking towards her apartment building again, evidently having thought that she was just hallucinating.

Kyuhyun frowned slightly, and threw another comment at her. “Honestly, do you think that you could at least just turn around and take a look at me before you storm off just like that?” he asked again, his intonation now laced with both amusement and disbelief.

That was all that was needed for her to turn around slowly in her position, eyes widening into the size of saucers when she took in his figure standing there looking back at her. “I’m not dreaming, am I?” she blurted out, causing Kyuhyun to burst out laughing at the hilarity of the situation.

Then again, he couldn’t blame her for having such a reaction. It must be difficult for her to accept the fact that he wasn’t going to come back to the living world after completely disappearing on her three months ago, yet here he was, standing here and talking to her once again.

It felt surreal, even to him. But he knew that this was real. This would perhaps signify the beginning of their new future together.

“You must be kidding me,” he then said, determined not to let his true feelings be so crystal clear. He was holding back every fibre of his being, although it felt like torture to resist from giving her a hug that she deserved. Only several more moments of testing out his almost-rusty acting skills. “You haven’t seen me in such a long time, and that’s all you can say to me?” Kyuhyun exclaimed indignantly, pressing his hand against his chest in mock hurt.

Yet what astounded him the most was how it took Hyeonmin all but three seconds to attack him with a rib-crushing hug, as though she didn’t want to release her hold on him ever again. However, his heart also broke at the sight, for Hyeonmin starting sobbing profusely into the material of his shirt, hurling question after question in his direction. “Where have you been? Do you know how much I’ve missed you all this while? Why did you suddenly disappear on me?”

He chuckled slightly at her interrogation, smoothing down her hair as he relished the warmth emanating from her body. It felt nostalgic to him, yet so right. It was precisely what he had been craving for ever since he was dragged back to the realm of death by his master – he was delighted that he wouldn’t be returning to the realm until he breathed his last in this new life.

“Whoa, that’s a lot of questions there,” he teased, but turned a little more serious soon after. “I’ve missed you too… and I’m sorry for that, but it was the best bet to keep you alive. I don’t want to see you in the realm of death prematurely,” he explained, pushing himself away from her so that he could take a good look at the face that he had been longing to see all this while.

“It’s not fair… you didn’t even let me know about it,” she continued sobbing, too overwhelmed with emotions to stop.

“Even if I told you, you wouldn’t let me go either,” he chuckled, and Hyeonmin frowned when she realised the truth behind his words.

“Then… will you be back for good, or are you just dropping by to see me before you knock me out and disappear on me again?” she asked sarcastically, deliberately aiming a kick at the spot where she knew would trigger the guilt within him.

She definitely succeeded in her aim, as Kyuhyun felt a slight twitch in his heart. Then again, he was a stubborn person with a hell lot of pride. And hence he smirked in a mischievous manner. “Well… I can tell you for sure that I’m no longer an angel of death from this point onwards, so why don’t you tell me your interpretation of this action…?” he mused before pulling her into a kiss, completely ignoring the fact that they were still standing on the streets.

He definitely wasn’t going to delay the beginning of the happiness that he knew they both craved for any longer.

-❇-❇-❇-

Author's Notes:
Mm, nope, definitely not going to reveal Kyuhyun's deal with his master any time soon. That's where all the fun lies, isn't it? :D

Stuck With You - Chapter 33

2012-01-01T16:31:00.000+08:00

Author's notes:
This is most probably the second to last chapter of the novel :( Still considering whether I should divulge the whole portion of Huiying's past, haha! And hmm, while writing this chapter, I've just realised that I have never talked about the name of Zhou Mi and Huiying's duet group..... so keep your eyes peeled? ^^

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Chapter 33

“Do you care to talk, or do you intend to make a run for it again?”

Sungmin’s head snapped up from the book he was reading at the sound of it, a deep frown creasing his forehead. “Be careful with the accusations you throw around. I’d watch my tongue if I were you,” he growled dangerously, expressions mirroring Zhou Mi’s less-than-happy ones.

“You can’t blame me when you would indeed always wriggle out of conversations lately,” the Chinese man responded with a scoff. He took the liberty of occupying the study chair in Sungmin’s room, despite not having received the invitation or permission to do so.

“What do you want now?” Sungmin snapped irately, shutting his book with a snap.

Both their attentions were diverted towards the door when Kyuhyun suddenly shouted something along the lines of “can’t you two have a proper discussion without going at each other’s throats for once?” from his room. He had obviously heard the argument going on in Sungmin’s room, and an unmistakable sigh escaped from the older man’s lips. He straightened himself on the bed, so that he was sitting on the edge of the piece of furniture. “So, what do you want with me?” he repeated himself, though his intonation took a softer edge this time.

“The truth,” Zhou Mi said bluntly.

“The truth?” the other man echoed, blinking in a confused manner. “What truth?”

“The reasons why you had suddenly announced that you had nothing to do with Huiying on that press conference,” he pointed out, frowning slightly.

Sungmin’s mouth pulled up into a half-smirk at the statement. “Oh, that,” he mused, tapping his chin as though submerged in deep thoughts. “You know precisely about the things that were reported on the news, so I don’t understand why you’re asking me this.”

The Chinese man inhaled sharply at the comment, though he flexed and extended his fingers in an attempt to channel his annoyance elsewhere. He reminded himself that he was here to talk nicely, not to pick a fight. “You might want to drop the act, hyung. I don’t get why you’re trying to put up a farce. Who are you trying to fool?” he then said.

“What exactly are you talking about?” he smiled, cocking his head to the side in a silent challenge.

“The Sungmin hyung I know wouldn’t be so quick in passing judgments on another person-” Zhou Mi began, eyes narrowing ever so slightly so that he could scrutinise the other man’s reactions. “-especially not if the person concerned is Huiying.”

As expected, Sungmin stiffened a little at his statement, though the split second of vulnerability dissipated as quickly as it came. “How can you be so sure that you know the real me?” he retorted calmly.

“It’s been years since we’ve become friends, hyung,” the taller one of the two grounded out. “I know that I was pissed at you in the beginning after what you have done, but after thinking about it, I can safely bet that there’s a hidden agenda behind your actions. So please, Sungmin hyung, do enlighten me what exactly you have in mind.”

Sungmin finally heaved a sigh and leaned against the wall at the prompt, staring at a non-existent spot on the ceiling. “Is that why none of the other guys are giving me hell over what I’ve done?” he asked. “Because everyone knows that I wouldn’t do such a thing in public?”

Zhou Mi chuckled at the older man’s question. “You seriously underestimate all of us, hyung. Do you think that we’re too blind to notice how deep your feelings for Huiying runs? No one’s going to get deceived by you this easily.”

“You were certainly on my case for what I did, though,” Sungmin replied dryly, reminding Zhou Mi about the outburst the latter had unleashed upon him on the day of the press conference. He would have walked out of the room with a nasty bruise to his left cheek, had he not employed his self-defence abilities in the nick of time.

The man in question flashed a wry smile at his friend. “Well, yeah, anger does things to greatly impair one’s better judgement,” he said sheepishly.

“Including trying to decapitate one of your group members? Sure.”

“Love rival,” Zhou Mi corrected him. “That’s a more sustainable reason for the decapitation.”

They stared each other in tense silence for a brief moment, and then they laughed. It was something which they have not done together ever since the beginning of their animosity, close to two months ago.

“Honestly though,” Zhou Mi started again when the laughter died down. “I never did want to fight you for Huiying. Buddy’s rule, remember?”

“Except that this ‘buddy’s rule’ includes the part where you don’t even fall in love with your friend’s girlfriend,” Sungmin huffed, though the slight smile playing on his lips indicated that he was just kidding – perhaps. Zhou Mi would never know.

The other man wasn’t a person who would openly express his feelings most of the time, not even to Huiying. He remembered how the man had never even shed a single tear after the death of his ex-fiancée. He truly admired Sungmin’s strength back then, but he wasn’t too sure whether it was the right thing to do now.

Nevertheless, Zhou Mi still compelled to explain himself. “I’m sorry, hyung… It’s difficult not to fall for her… She’s just a breath of fresh air, inspiring and truly caring. You should know,” he smiled awkwardly again, feeling every bit as remorseful for allowing such things to happen in the first place. He wished he knew a way to control his feelings, but having to suffer from the guilt of not holding her back was probably retribution for him.

“I know, and I don’t blame you for that,” Sungmin leaned forward in his position and gave his friend a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. “I’m the one who is at fault for not protecting her well enough. None of this fiasco would’ve happened if I did.”

Zhou Mi frowned at his comment. He couldn’t quite understand what his friend was trying to get at. “What do you mean Sungmin hyung? I was the one who knew that she was going to pack her bags but didn’t stop her from leaving–”

“That’s not what I meant, Mi,” Sungmin interjected. “The announcement I made on the press conference… It was because of my weakness. I couldn’t find the courage to stand up against the fans like what Teukkie hyung did.”

“What…? What’s going on?”

The older man let out a mirthless chuckle. “You really have no idea what was going on, do you?” he asked, though he was quick to fill Zhou Mi in with the remaining information. He could sense the immense curiosity emanating off of the man who was seated right across him.

“After the supposed-love triangle between the three of us was reported in the news, a vast majority of our fans were quick to jump to the conclusion that it was Huiying who was behind all of this,” he explained, taking a gulp when the flashes of the messages he had seen flying around the Internet reappeared in his mind.

He had always thought that the fans were beautiful who continued to support them despite all their flaws and imperfections, but what he saw that day were nothing more than a string of venomous words being thrown continuously at his then-girlfriend who was thrust under the negative limelight. He no longer recognised even his most loyal of fans, who bashed Huiying with horrid comments when the news came to light. They did not know how she was like in private, yet they weren’t at all hesitant at passing their judgements on Huiying.

“That’s ridiculous! She was trying her best to stay away from me so that she wouldn’t hurt you!” Zhou Mi flipped, feeling livid that such things were happening behind the anonymous screen names.

Then again, it wasn’t anything that he had not experienced before during his debut days – and even now. Some people lived to bring the others down without showing any form of mercy.

“We know that, but they don’t,” Sungmin gently chided him. He couldn’t say that he was angry at the fans that had such thoughts – they were misled. It was also partially his fault for not standing out to clarify things immediately after the scandal was unleashed in the gossip column. He was supposed to defend Huiying at all costs. He was, however, disappointed at his fans for not trusting in his perception about his own girlfriend.

“It’s still unfair for Huiying to be condemned in such a manner. It’s as much our fault as it is hers.”

Another thin smile found its way to Sungmin’s lips. “Yet at the end of the day, that’s what the mastermind had intended to do, isn’t it? To drag Huiying’s name through the mud without getting us involved in the process, and to ruin her chances of ever setting foot in the entertainment industry?” he sniffed.

He thought it ridiculous how someone would live to bring another person down. It was as though they would not have to deal with the remorse that they had driven someone to their bitter end. Or perhaps they didn’t even care.

“But hyung, that’s not the precise reason why you announced your break-up with Huiying in front of the press, is it?” Zhou Mi pressed on, diverting the subject. Aside from feeling suffocated at the new information he had gained, he had also sensed that something was amiss.

Surely the need to please several crossed fans did not warrant the public humiliation Huiying had received?

“You’re right; it isn’t,” Sungmin breathed, looking almost pained as he admitted to it. “I hadn’t planned on carrying out such a drastic action, but then I received the envelope that I had shown to you a day prior to the press conference. That was when I knew that I had to pretend I was really severing all ties with Huiying.”

“Why?” the question came out without missing a beat, almost reflexively.

“There were already several death threats posted against Huiying before the second scandal of hers was reported in the media. Seeing what had happened to Yunho in the past, I couldn’t possibly wave them off as childish jokes and put her life at stake… What do you think would have happened if I held on to the relationship to satisfy my own selfish whims?”

Zhou Mi effectively paled.

* * * * *

She paused in her tracks as she was about to pass a music shop by, looking longingly at the interior of the store. She vaguely wondered whether her albums were still on sale, or whether it had been taken off the shelves because of the news that had finally made its way to the shores of China.

She knew that she couldn’t possibly escape the fate forever. Nevertheless, she was thankful that she had a grace period of a month to live as a normal person on the streets of Beijing. She couldn’t say the same for her current condition.

A sigh escaped her glossed lips when she caught sight of her own reflection in the glass pane of the music store’s exterior. A girl in a hoodie and bare minimal makeup stared back at her, the circles under her eyes darker than any other occasion in her life. Not even the most gruesome practice sessions during her trainee days made her lose so much sleep before.

Just as she was about to take her leave, Huiying’s eyes welled up with tears when she saw eight familiar faces staring back at her from a large-sized poster in the outlet. In particular, two of them triggered a huge wave of conflicting emotions within her. Without giving it much thought, her legs brought her into the store, and before she could even realise it, her fingers were already tracing the outlines of the faces on the piece of glossy paper.

“Perfection, huh?” she mumbled to herself, smiling in spite of her own condition. “You boys are definitely perfect in every way with this concept,” Huiying said again, not really caring if the rest of the customers heard her. They could very well think that she was out of her mind, even.

The girl smiled wistfully as she took in all the features of the eight boys, the feelings of nostalgia washing over her. It had been way too long since she had last seen them in flesh, let alone talk to them. She didn’t even know that they had started promoting more than a month ago, considering how she had isolated herself from the rest of the world all this while.

That was when she really noticed just how much she missed the rowdy group back in Korea.

Nonetheless, in the midst of being lost in her own thoughts, she had failed to realise that a customer was scrutinising her face closely, Huiying jumped when someone tapped her on the shoulder, only to come face-to-face with a middle-aged woman who asked, “Excuse me, are you by any chance Lin Huiying from the Sapphire Project? Something looks familiar about you, and I just had to make sure.”

The blood had effectively drained from the younger woman’s face at the question. Her heart started to race, panicking because she was at a complete loss about how she should respond to it. She wasn’t even sure whether this woman was a hater of hers, but she couldn’t possibly take a risk.

“Uh, no, I’m sorry but I think you’ve got the wrong person,” she finally replied, willing herself not to stammer as she told her lie. Huiying flashed a nervous smile at the woman, before pulling her hoodie lower over her face and hurrying off.

She really hoped that the woman bought her words, but she wasn’t going to stick around to find out either.

* * * * *

His eyes wandered off to the envelope which was lying on his desk, a dismayed sigh automatically escaping his lips for the umpteenth time that day. Sungmin tossed and turned in his bed despite the fact that it was still bright out, trying to tune out the thoughts which were crowding up his mind.

It wasn’t working out like he hoped it would, however.

Pushing himself off the comfort of his sheets, Sungmin moved to gain hold of the envelope that he had been eyeing all this while, before retrieving a similar-looking object from his drawer. He fished out both their contents and compared them page by page, when he exhaled noisily again.

Kyuhyun, you brat, he thought. Both the envelopes contained the exact same information; one of them was handed to Zhou Mi by Jin Ri. There wasn’t much of a need to guess that Kyuhyun and Jin Ri were behind this, though he was thankful that they were trying to look out for both him and Zhou Mi. The latter, however, probably had no idea that Kyuhyun had also provided him with Huiying’s contact information.

But therein lay the problem. Sungmin was the one who had announced that he did not want to have anything to do with his ex-girlfriend – albeit indirectly. How was he supposed to bring himself to face her again? Surely she would be pissed at him for abandoning her in such a manner…?

He squeezed his eyes shut to block out those negative thoughts. He didn’t need to be bogged down with such emotions at this point of time. He needed to think.

How was he supposed to take the next step?

* * * * *

“I need you to listen to me calmly, Mi,” Minseung, the manager who was assigned to Zhou Mi’s duet group said cautiously.

They were currently seated in one of the meeting rooms in the SM Entertainment building. Zhou Mi had received a call from his manager moments after Sungmin had confessed about his true intentions behind his sudden announcement during the press conference, and he had immediately rushed to the company. It was rare for Minseung to contact him in such an urgent manner after all.

The artist frowned at the older man, wondering about what he was trying to tell him. “Hyung, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me with all this seriousness you’re channelling.”

“Promise me you’ll not freak out,” Minseung reiterated, only continuing when Zhou Mi nodded hesitantly in agreement. “The higher-ups have made an official decision. The Sapphire Project will officially be disbanded.”

“What?!” Zhou Mi yelled, not quite believing what he was hearing. “They can’t possibly do that!”

Minseung sighed. It was a reaction that he had very much expected. “Mi, you need to remember that this duet group wasn’t meant to be a permanent fixture of SMTown.”

“I know.”

“You were supposed to help Huiying gain a decent fanbase, then your job would be complete. You would have to separate sooner or later.”

“I know that, too. But shouldn’t they wait until Huiying’s here with me to receive this news before they made the decision? She has the right to not be left in the dark,” Zhou Mi protested. Knowing his own entertainment company, they wouldn’t even make an official announcement of the disbandment on the news. She would never get to know about it.

“I understand your concerns, Mi, but you should take the current situation into consideration as well. Huiying is nowhere to be found, and no one is able to contact her at all. There is no other way around this,” Minseung tried to reason with the Chinese man. He honestly didn’t want things to turn out this way either, especially not after he had taken a liking towards Huiying himself. However, regardless of his attempts to talk the higher-ups out of it, they wouldn’t even listen to his pleads.

They had informed him that the contact information which Huiying had provided them with at the start of her trainee period was no longer valid. In the end, they merely threw the responsibility of breaking the news to Zhou Mi at him.

Zhou Mi bit his lip at his manager’s words, narrowly preventing himself from exposing the fact that he knew where Huiying was. He only needed to buy himself some time to persuade her. “I’ll look for her,” he then said ever so softly.

“Excuse me?”

“I’ll find Huiying, no matter what it takes,” he reiterated, this time in a louder volume. “Until then, I won’t sit back and allow this to happen without putting up any resistance, hyung. You have my word for it,” he then declared, before storming out of the meeting room.

Minseung could only let out a sigh as he looked at the wide-opened door, hoping that the younger man wouldn’t do anything reckless. If only things could be settled in a less complicated manner…

Summation

2012-01-01T00:00:00.296+08:00

So here we go, another blog post to sum up the entire year as per tradition. Okay so perhaps I skipped out on this practice last year (2010) because I was in Manjung with no decent internet (Hence the laziness to dig up posts from my blog kicked in.), but I'll try to keep up with the habit in the coming years! Also, I know I haven't particularly been a very... hardworking blogger over the past year. Can I stuff in my busy schedule (particularly since 4th year started) as a reason for my absence? :3

That being said, blogging less about my life doesn't necessarily mean that nothing much has happened during the year. It's quite the contrary, actually, considering how I've travelled out of the country 4 times this year itself, and went to several concerts to boot.

So beginning from January, there was honestly nothing too interesting about it, apart from the fact that I did my Paediatrics posting in Manjung. It was an interesting posting, I should say, but hmm, I don't think I'm cut out to handle children. Seriously. Also not to mention the fact that I don't like seeing children being so ill to the point of having to be confined in their beds......

And oh, on the penultimate day of January (30th if you don't get it....) I think I did just about the craziest thing I could possibly do for Super Junior. If you didn't know, I had actually flown all the way to Singapore on the day itself just to catch their Super Show 3 concert - with my sister, of course. Then again, I might not have done so if only they had announced the dates for Malaysia's stop earlier (instead of doing it on the week right before Singapore's show. By then it's difficult to even sell off my ticket, and I couldn't cancel my flight tickets either. Boo.)

During Sorry, Sorry (opening)

Well, these are the dorks I have learned to love over the past years XD

February was a crazy month, for Super Junior-M fans at least. God, I still can't forget how much I spazzed over the teaser and the music video for 太完美/Perfection ;~; My boys are always gorgeous huhu. There was also the happy news about Donghae and Siwon acting in a Taiwanese drama, which is a remake of Skip Beat (华丽的挑战)~ It's currently airing in Taiwan, and of which I am pretty diligently following at the moment, haha!

March was yet another lovely month for me, because of the Malaysian leg of Super Show 3 (fanaccount can be found here). There's nothing that can be compared with watching such an amazing concert in your own country! Before you start questioning about whether it's worth it to watch some concert twice, I assure you, it is. The line-up isn't exactly the same as the concert I've watched in Singapore, and what made it all the more worth it was the fact that Jungsoo had his own solo with Kiss Goodbye, and needless to say, it was brilliant on all accounts. I've been craving to listen to him singing a ballad live, to the point that I was in tears while watching his performance. Exaggeration? I think not.

Again, during the opening song, Sorry, Sorry

Jungsoo's solo during SS3 Malaysia

That aside, I'm glad that I managed to meet up with my friends from SJ-WORLD, and needless to say, we went absolutely crazy while waiting for the concert to start ;)

April was a boring month for me. May was too, but at least I received my Secret DVD from San :)) It's two DVDs full of Kyuhyun goodness, huhu. I mainly bought it for the sake of the 삼총사 fancams, though, since I knew I wouldn't have a chance to even watch Kyuhyun's musical live T-T

My Secret DVD ♥

Of course, I've received more goodies during the month as well, including Singles magazine with Jungsoo's solo interview (and gorgeous photos, if I might add) and my Perfection album :)) Thanks 유진! I also participated in the fandom auctions (providing services, obviously) with SJ-WORLD to help out for the Japan Relief Fund, and I'm happy someone bidded for fics haha! Only one person, but still. I do think that it's a little pricey to bid for fics though, considering how complete novels are around 5USD (same price as the starting bid for my fics) as well. Hmm.

Besides, there was also another(!!) concert featuring the Super Junior-M boys on the 28th of May, but worry not, this concert was free in conjunction with the National Youth Day celebrations. Honestly, though, I would've very much have preferred if we had to pay for the concert. No, I'm not out of my mind... It's just that my heart aches to see them getting badmouthed by a whole bunch of local celebrities for something that probably wasn't even their fault to begin with (i.e. washroom arrangements........... Seriously, people?) What made me happy, though, was the fact that we had a whole new array of solo performances (Hyuk's was smouldering hot, if I might add!) and even had the opportunity to be the first ones to watch Henry performing Off My Mind live :) Full fanaccount of the event can be found here :D

June was arguably the best month of the year. In addition to having a month-long holiday, I also had the opportunity to travel to Seoul, and since I'm feeling lazy at the moment, I'll just link you to the full account about the trip n___n But before that, I got this new baby:

Oh my lovely~ ♥

Seriously, though. Having an iPhone really makes life much easier, especially for a person like me who tweets on the go. When I had my SEW660i it was... difficult to scroll, to tweet, and to backtrack. Expensive too, considering how my internet was pay per use at that particular time (which was why my credit ⇊ at a rather fast speed......err, yeah.) so it wasn't feasible. Getting an iPhone is a good investment, truthfully, especially with all the glorious apps (like Medscape! It's a lifesaver!) and games for me to fool around with when I'm bored. Mmhmm.

So yeah, I guess you can call June a month where I really spent lots of money on various stuff, including albums, accessories and magazines, but most of them were bought while I was in Korea :)

Shin Hyesung, Super Junior-M and Super Junior-H albums :)

B2ST's Fiction and Fact Limited Edition album

My new Swatch

July was yet another crazily eventful month for me, what with my dear friend (and '엄마') from Belgium visiting me ♥ and the release of Super Junior's 5집티져사진 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ (though the latter was accompanied by some horrific moments as well, but I shall leave it at that.) I also started my 4th year as a medical student (*gulp*) in July, and participated in a flashmob at Taman Jaya for the sake of bringing Dreamstage Korea to Malaysia. I'm not going to elaborate on the latter, however, and it depends on your luck to find photos of me actually dancing to several Korean songs haha! (Yes, I do dance thank you very much. I just don't do it very often.)

Divy and I at Times Square :D

Ooh, also towards the end of the month, I celebrated my first year anniversary as a Translator on SJ-WORLD.NET; time really flies, doesn't it? I've really learned a lot of stuff on responsibilities during my tenure as a part of the forum's staff, especially because it's such a huge forum with a wide recognition from fans across the world. Eh, talk about the stress you get from holding such a prestigious job (yup, I'd say that it's prestigious because the forum is just awesome like that), but it's all good :) At least I get to improve and continue practicing my language skills while doing the job.

To add icing on the cake for the month, I also received my lovely, long-awaited photobooks n_n

parkjungsu.com photobook and the official Super Show 3 photobook :)

I know that I only had one post in the month of August, lulzies, but it was pretty much quite eventful just like the preceding month itself. First of all, Super Junior made their comeback with their 5th album (still OTL-ing over how huge the album is. 30x30cm), which of course, means more crazy spazzing on my part. I get it that you're not interested in knowing, so I'll skip that and go to the next best thing which was Super Junior getting 3rd place on the Billboard charts. That is an amazing feat, no matter what anyone says.

I also made a trip to Western Australia at the end of August, of which I have not typed up the account yet. I don't think I'll ever get around to doing it OTL, but I guess you can head over to my deviantART gallery to look at the photos I took. To be quite honest, all I've done in Western Australia was to travel around several towns (Perth, Freemantle, Margaret River, Albany and Swan Valley), took lots of photos, ate lots of good food, nearly getting my ears frozen off, shopping, and sight-seeing. It's mostly self-explanatory if you take a look at the photos :) Anyway, since I'm feeling particularly nice today, I'll upload several unwatermarked photos for your perusal~ I'm not saying that you can take it and repost it elsewhere without credits though. (Yes I'm a bitch when it comes to crediting. Blame my line of job as a Translator on an international forum☻.)

View of Perth City from King's Park

One of the streets in Freemantle. Quiet town, I'd say.

The Albany Wind Farm

Sunset at Prevelley Beach.

The beginning of September was a rather depressing one, if I might say so myself. Mainly because Heechul enlisted into the army (and thus would be disappearing from public view - pretty much - for the next two years); I think what made me feel worse was the fact that I wasn't able to follow the news of his enlistment from the beginning, considering the fact that I had only returned from Australia on the same afternoon. Oh well, I'm really proud and happy to see that he's doing well serving his country. 역시 우리의 우주대스타다!

But anyway, September was a month full of more fandom-related work, since I was handling the album orders with my friend San :) It was hectic, definitely, but the satisfaction that comes with it is great. I even feel proud for being able to help Super Junior out with boosting their album sales, so all's well. It's frustrating, however, to see how some members aren't exactly the most responsible people around with their own things. So many private messages went unread and unanswered, ugh. Things like these make me not want to handle orders on such a large scale ever again.

Han Geng's movie, My Kingdom/大武生 also came out in the cinemas, so on one fine day after handling the meet-ups for album collection, I happily went to watch the movie with my SJ-WORLD friends. It was awesome, having so many people watch the show with you (and because they know who the actor is, the fun was tripled haha!) It's honestly great to see Han Geng doing so well in his solo career :) *please don't bash me for this because I sincerely hope to see them being successful regardless of what they choose to do with their lives*

October was.. hmm, mediocre at best. But I managed to fulfil another of my dreams since childhood, whch was to catch a live gig of Westlife's. Yes, you've heard that right - I went for their Malaysian leg of the Gravity Tour 2011 with my friends from college. I'm glad I did, too, because not long after I received the news about them disbanding :( Sobs, I feel a little sad that it's happening, but I sincerely hope that they'll consider doing another Asian tour before their true farewell. They're great live, that much I'd say =D

Cheapest free-seating tickets because I'm broke after going to two Super Junior concerts in a year. orz

November, also my birthday month and Super Junior's 6th Anniversary/Super Junior K.R.Y.'s 5th Anniversary month!! I had a pretty low-key celebration this year, though, since I spent the entire day being cooped up in college haha! What to do, had class from 8 in the morning, which continued all through till 4pm before I had to sit for an assessment, and a 2-hour session with my academic supervisor for FM after that. I ended up arriving home at 8.30pm =.=" Great thing was that I had the following day off, so I celebrated it with my friends at Cristang over lunch instead :) And nope, no cakes this year.

Blood sugar too high, LOL!

I think the best part of November was the fact that Jungsoo(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) replied to my tweet on Twitter, haha! I was actually just fooling around and trying my luck in getting a birthday wish from him, but I wasn't placing much hope in it actually happening........ but well, it did, and I swear I was shaking so much when I saw the reply in my mentions. I even had to pinch myself several times to make sure I wasn't dreaming or seeing things. The only thing that reassured me was how my mentions were suddenly flooded by congratulatory messages from my other friends who had seen the reply ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ Just to prove that I'm not bullshitting, here's a screencap of it, complete with translations haha! I can even link you to the tweet if you'd likeeeee.

CREYS CREYS CREYS CREYS CREYS BEST FUCKING GIFT EVER.

For those of you who are wondering, no @sdongenter is not Leeteuk/Jungsoo's real account. @special1004 is his actual account. @sdongenter is Sports Donga's account, which would be used by celebrities that will answer questions on it for 2 consecutive days. Jungsoo's turn happened to coincide with the week of my birthday, LOL!

This month was a month full of surprises and awesomeness, but of course there are some unhappy things that had happened (well to name one, it would be the fact that the end-of-posting exams were a killer -_-) though I shall not delve in deeper into the last part of that.

Anyway, I managed to see my boys again at the beginning of this month! ♥ The concert (MO.A Live 2011 in Malaysia) indeed came as a surprise, but I was happy that they came to perform here :) I was beginning to miss Jungsoo a whole lot after seeing him (and Hyukjae) back in June, haha! And oh, I just realised that I haven't put up a fanaccount about that, but anyway, I'm too lazy to do it now. Neither can I remember much of the things because my brain somehow gets wiped clean right after concerts ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ Sucks. But what made the concert a great experience was the fact that apart from the joy of seeing Super Junior in flesh again, I also managed to watch miss A, B1A4 and f(x) in action. Gosh, Victoria is seriously pretty T-T And lol, I was right at the front during the concert!! As in, I was less than a meter away from the stage. Awesome part of having the priority to enter the venue earlier since I bought my tickets with a fanclub (SJ-WORLD.NET - I have never ever handled such a huge sum of money in my entire life until that day! LOL) so I pretty much had a clear view of everyone ♥ Also, had another miracle from Jungsoo who waved to me at the ending of the concert, sobbing so hard. I wanted to smack myself hard for forgetting to press the record button on my phone though -_________-

I love the man for sitting so close to me ♥ This was during Marry U

Another amazing thing that had happened during December was the fact that my application to do Oncology as my Electives subject in University Malaya was accepted. Previously I had also received the offer from NUS, but I'm afraid I'll have to reject the offer now. Most of you who knows me would know that I'm really interested in the field of Oncology, so yup ^^

And you may or may not know, but I've travelled to Singapore in the past week too. Nothing much to talk about, though, except for the fact that my spine nearly gave way from all the walking. Not a good sensation, I can assure you.

So that would sum up my very, very eventful year! I'm just happy that I managed to finish reading several novels (within the span of 2 weeks, actually.) before the year had ended; I haven't had much of an opportunity to do so this year because of my busy schedules. I'm also proud that I had managed to finish close to 5 novels and a handful of other stories within the year :)) Hey, I'm no longer a person who abandons my stories midway through (with the exception of original fics, though. I can't find the motivation to complete my ideas T-T) so go me!

If you've managed to stick through this very long summary (hey, it's done for the past 365 days after all, so I deserve some credit!), give yourself a pat on the back, and here's a virtual cookie! I hope that you've had a great year in 2011, and will continue to enjoy an even greater year in 2012!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! ♥

새해 복 많이 받으세요!

Liking

2011-12-31T09:41:00.002+08:00

I like guys who are tall.
I like guys who are good-looking.
I like guys who can play the piano well.
I like guys who can dress in a classy manner and not sloppily throw on some pieces of clothing whenever they have to go out.
I like guys who can sustain a mature conversation with me.
I like guys who can understand and accept my fangirl side.
I like guys who can understand my love for writing (and all things inane that accompany it).
I like guys who don't give me second-hand embarrassment with their actions.

Then again, liking and actually getting what you want, are two ends of a spectrum. You can like a particular person or item, but getting your hands on them is an entirely different matter. At times like these, you need to get real.

But that doesn't mean that this girl should stop dreaming, though! Haha :)

(And no, I'm not kidding nor randomly throwing out examples just to fill in this post. I'm serious about ^those requirements)

That Someone Is You - Chapter 9

2011-12-31T09:28:00.000+08:00

09

He rolled his eyes when he could sense that someone was tailing him down the hallways of the university leading towards the cafeteria. It had been going on for quite a while now, and he felt plain irritated by it. What made it worse was the fact that this stalker of his wasn’t at all bothered about the amount of noise her heels made when it clicked with the marble flooring.

“Woman, could you be any less subtle about following me around?” he called out sarcastically, halting in his steps and turning around to look at the person. His voice resonated down the hallway long after he had uttered those words, considering how deserted it was on a long weekend. Most of the students had returned to their respective homes, except for those who lived too far away to pay a trip back – namely, him and said stalker.

She let out a mirthless chuckle at that. “You could have ignored me outright if you wanted to,” she shrugged. “No one’s stopping you from doing that.”

“Whatever,” he snorted, folding his arms in front of his chest. “Let’s get straight down to the point, shall we? What do you want with me?”

“Good that we see eye to eye. I’ve told you this once – you mess with her, you mess with me. Stay away from her,” she hissed, still keeping the distance between them intact. She didn’t really want to be anywhere near him at all.

“What will you do if I refuse to acknowledge your request?” he challenged her with a smirk on his face. “I believe I’ll have to remind you that I’m not always the one who initiates the conversations between us.”

“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself involved in. Consider this my final warning. Hurt her, and you’ll regret it for life,” she declared, before turning on her heels and headed down the direction they had came from.

He stood in his position for a moment longer as he watched her disappear down the hallway, the smirk never leaving his face.

He’d like to see what that woman could carry off by herself.

* * * * *

Hyukjae stretched happily as he walked down the familiar path leading to the waterfront, feeling oddly relaxed for the first time in a very long while. His management company was kind enough to allow them to have a week off from their schedules after their most reason Super Show concert in Shanghai, and he was making full use of that to catch up with his lessons in the university.

Although he was tempted to take the week off to sleep at home instead, he knew very well that education was equally important as emphasised by both his parents. In addition, if he decided to skip out on the week’s lessons, he would have to catch up on them sooner or later anyway. Not a smart move, as he had learned.

He pulled his jacket closer to himself when a gust of cold air blew in his direction, shivering slightly at the chilly atmosphere. If anything, he was thankful that it wasn’t as cold as he had anticipated this winter to be. He wasn’t really looking forward to be walking around in several thick layers of cold at all.

A smile lit up his face as he approached the wooden bridge leading out to the lake, noticing a familiar figure seated there as usual. She was dressed in a black fur jacket, scribbling away in her notebook just like the first time he had seen her there. The girl was evidently in a good mood, as she kept looking up from her book every now and then, inhaling the fresh winter air around her. The satisfied expressions and the smile playing on her lips after every action of hers subconsciously made his heart skip a beat.

The dancer then glanced around him, carefully assessing his surroundings. When he was sure that there was no one else in the vicinity, he reached up to his face and pulled off his face mask. He figured out that he would probably be safe in the mean time. Hyukjae mimicked her actions in taking in the cold winter air, feeling completely refreshed in the next moment.

Hyukjae casted another look in the direction of the girl, relieved that she was still seated in her previous position and was very much occupied with what she was doing. He bit on his lower lip in hesitation for a short moment, before taking bold steps in her direction.

As usual, he kept a small distance between the two of them, pretending to be admiring the scenery as he threw subtle glances at her. This had been his habit over the past month whenever he would stumble upon her hanging out at the waterfront, but even until now, he couldn’t bring himself to utter a single word to the girl.

He didn’t know what to say to her, even if Donghae kept egging him on and asked him to just walk up to her like a man and say ‘hi’. Hyukjae sauntered off with a frown on his face every single time the younger man brought up the topic. Things were… complicated on his side, especially when half the girls in his university who knew that he was studying there were going after him because of his status as a celebrity.

He was sick of being pursued for such superficial reasons.

Sighing, Hyukjae’s eyes wandered off to the pristine white pages of the girl’s notebook again. He squinted a little, trying to make out what the contents were. Reading along, he found himself admiring her neat handwriting printed across the lines, but without even thinking, he blurted the very words out. “You have beautiful handwriting,” he had said.

When he realised what had just escaped his lips, a hand immediately flew up to clamp his mouth shut. He frantically hoped that the girl was too engrossed in doing whatever she usually does to the extent that she could not hear him. However, much to his dismay (and perhaps a little joy), the girl actually stopped writing for once and looked directly at him, probably wondering whether it was this stranger who had made that random comment.

His heart raced at the sight of that clueless but slightly amused expression of hers. Hyukjae mentally berated himself when he felt his cheeks burn up at the embarrassing slip of his tongue. He was even more conscious of the heat emanating from his face as a result of the cold air surrounding him, and he had the sudden urge to pull out his face mask and make a run for it.

Hyukjae was about to translate his thoughts into actions after muttering a quick apology when a soft chuckle came from his right, pulling his attention back towards the girl.

“Thank you for the kind compliment; I believe that was the first time anyone had praised my handwriting,” she mused, not feeling the least bit reserved with her words. However, her sentences were also peppered with politeness, reflecting the way she was brought up at home – strict, perhaps. “I was beginning to wonder when you were going to talk to me,” the girl laughed again.

Hyukjae blinked at her. “You noticed me hanging around?” he found himself asking without processing his words again. He grimaced for the second time that day at his tactless responses. So much for keeping a decent first impression, he thought dryly.

“Well yes, it’s hard to ignore the feeling you get when someone stares at you all the time, if you know what I mean,” she commented with a grin, closing her notebook for the first time since he saw her at the waterfront, apart from the times when she was gearing up to leave.

“Sorry,” he muttered sheepishly, averting his gaze from her. “You must think that I’m weird and creepy.”

“Don’t worry about it,” came the reply. “You’re not the first person in this university who hangs out near me without even introducing yourself first,” she said, eyes crinkling in amusement. Hyukjae relaxed a little at her words, as he could sense the humour in them. She wasn’t the least bit offended or freaked out by his blatant stalking, and for that he was thankful.

“So… what are you doing out here on your own?” he then asked, though he cringed a little at his probably lame attempt at striking up another conversation. He didn’t know why he was being so affected by a girl he hardly knew; usually he was more confident than this – or so he’d like to believe.

“Talking to you?” she said as-a-matter-of-factly, the corner of her mouth pulling up in a half-smile. It was as though she was trying to repress a laugh from escaping. “If you’re wondering what I was doing before this, I was writing,” the girl then amended herself, sensing how Hyukjae was struggling to find the right thing to say. The amused smile remained on her pink lips.

“Writing a report in the cold? Why don’t you do it in your dorm room instead? I mean, you’re attending university here, aren’t you?” Hyukjae queried, feeling slightly confused. Although he would occasionally find couples who weren’t from his university strolling along the riverbank, he was pretty sure that this girl studied here.

“Yes, I am,” she confirmed. “And no, of course I’m not that crazy to write a report and risk myself freezing to death out here. I’m actually writing a novel. It’s my way of releasing the stress I get from university, otherwise you would probably see me in a mental asylum instead,” she joked, earning a hearty laugh from Hyukjae.

The first impression he had of her stuck with him; she was a captivating person.

He had a hunch that she didn’t really know who he was – which was fine by him, really – considering how she hadn’t jumped at him to ask for an autograph yet. The girl seemed genuinely interested in sustaining the conversation with him, and wasn’t trying too hard to gain his attention like everyone else. She had this natural charm which made him subconsciously gravitate towards her.

“That’s certainly an interesting way of putting things,” he flashed that gummy grin of his. “Are you a freshman here?”

She seemed pleasantly surprised at the question aimed at her. “Well, yes, you’re right. How did you know?”

“An intelligent guess,” he winked. “I haven’t seen you around here before the new academic year. I figured that if you loved this place so much, you would’ve been here more often.”

The girl nodded in understanding, impressed by his deduction skills. “Not bad,” she praised. “Speaking of which, I haven’t seen much of you on campus either. Do you really study here?”

“I’m one year ahead of you. Do you want me to show you my student ID?” Hyukjae asked, mock hurt by her words. However, a smile appeared on his face again within a split second, indicating that he was just joking. “Trust me; I’d like to stick around a lot more if I could. But unfortunately, I don’t have the luxury to do that.”

She looked at him oddly at the sound of his statement, wondering about the reasons behind it. He didn’t seem to be sickly, so she couldn’t fathom why he could not attend classes frequently on campus. “Is there a special reason why?” she therefore asked in a polite manner, scooting a little to Hyukjae in order to better scrutinise his facial features at a closer proximity.

That simple move was more than adequate to make him squirm under her gaze, and he secretly wondered whether she was trying to return his favour for making her feel uncomfortable whenever he looked at her from a distance. He cleared his throat, embarrassed, and turned away slightly. “There is, but I don’t think I can tell you just yet,” he flashed a thin smile at her, eyes flickering away in the next second.

Although he had expected her to frown at his reply, Hyukjae was pleasantly surprised to find that radiant smile on her face. “It’s alright if you can’t fill me in on the information just yet. I understand how you feel – I mean, we’ve just met after all,” she beamed.

“So… I can still talk to you after this?” Hyukjae blurted, eyes widening at the underlying message.

A hearty laugh escaped her throat once again at his question. “Of course we can! You do intend to do so in the future, don’t you?”

“Certainly!” he replied without even thinking, feeling much happier than he probably should.

“That’s good to hear then,” the girl grinned at him, before pulling herself up into a standing position. “I’m sorry, but I’ll have to take my leave now. I trust that you’ll be able to find me if you’d like to talk again?”

Hyukjae mimicked her actions, fluidly hopping up from his seat. He dusted the back of his pants to get rid of the frost and the cold, that gummy smile automatically finding its way back to his expressions again. “Unless you decide to change your hang out spot after today, I’ll see you here again.”

“Great! I’ll see you around then,” she chirruped, before taking large strides in the direction of the dorms.

Hyukjae stared at her retreating back for a short moment, grinning in a silly manner to himself, when he suddenly remembered something and promptly broke into a run after the girl. “Wait!” he called out. “I don’t think I got your name!”

Much to his relief, the girl halted in her steps and turned around beaming widely, causing Hyukjae’s heart to do a quick flip again. He prayed hard that his face was not in a deep shade of scarlet, pulling his scarf up to hide his cheeks just in case.

“I’m sorry, I believe I forgot to ask for your name,” he said again when he managed to catch up with her, feeling embarrassed for the umpteenth time at his blunders.

She chuckled and held out her hand. “I’m Shin Seohyeon. Nice to meet you.”

“Lee Hyukjae,” he offered. This is definitely a good start, he thought.

* * * * *

“You’re doing that creepy thing again,” a voice spoke up from the other end of the room, startling Seohyeon who was concentrating on the books in front of her. The short-haired girl glanced up at the other occupant, eyebrows furrowed at her.

“I thought you weren’t speaking to me,” she gave a half-hearted scowl, remembering about the number of times she had tried to initiate a conversation with her roommate for the past two weeks, only to be given a cold shoulder instead.

She gave up trying half a week ago, no longer having the motivation of getting back into the good books of her supposed best friend. There was nothing she could do when it was a one-way initiative. It wasn’t as though she was the person at fault to begin with.

“It’s fine with me if you don’t want to talk about it. Suit yourself,” her roommate, whose hair was now in a shade of chestnut brown, shrugged and returned her attention to the magazine in her hands.

Seohyeon let out a dismayed sigh at that, walking towards Min-ae’s side of the room before hopping onto the latter’s bed and snaking her arms around her friend’s waist. “Min, stop doing this to me. It’s not fair that you keep ignoring me. We’ve never been involved in such a huge fight before, and I just want it to stop. Please.”

Min-ae tore her eyes away from the pages of the magazine at the gesture, also sighing as she hugged the other girl back. “I’m sorry, Hyeon. I just… I don’t know what got into me,” she confessed, feeling guilty that she had ignored her best friend for such a long period of time.

The shorter one of the pair shook her head. “It’s partially my fault too, Min. I shouldn’t have agreed to go on a date with Shin-il sunbae without discussing about it with you first.”

“About that…” Min-ae started, biting on her lip. “That’s completely my fault. I don’t have the right to control your life, Hyeon. I shouldn’t have blown my top just because you wanted to go out with him.”

“So… you’re fine with it now?”

“No, I still don’t trust him at all,” came the honest answer, causing Seohyeon to wince a little at how blunt her friend was being. “But I’m not going to stop you from seeing him. It’s your life; it’s your choice to hang out with anyone you please.”

Seohyeon frowned at her roommate. “Do you mind telling me why exactly you’re so against Shin-il sunbae?” she asked good-naturedly, not wanting to risk getting her friend angry again.

Min-ae shook her head. “It’s just a hunch. I have a feeling that he’s up to no good,” she pointed out. “Promise me you’ll be careful when you’re out with him?”

“Fine, I promise,” Seohyeon sighed, laughing a little as she did the pinkie-promise with Min-ae. “Just don’t give him such a hard time, alright?”

“We’ll see,” the other girl answered noncommittally. “So what was that creepy grin earlier all about?”

The brown-haired girl flushed a deep shade of red at the question, muttering something incoherent before escaping from Min-ae’s grip. The latter wasn’t about to give up, however, as she chased after her best friend and attempted to annoy the answer out of her.

..｡.:*:.｡..｡.:*:.｡..

Author's Notes:
Haha, I've probably made a large number of you happy after this update. Figured out that I've been stalling way too much in terms of the development of their relationship, but the drama is just about to start ;) And oh, reading through By the Waterfront again the other day, I've realised that I kind of rushed their relationship in the one-shot. After writing Seohyeon in this novel, she developed into a character that's cautious with what she says, so there are certain things that she wouldn't divulge on the first meeting with Hyukjae. I'll still include parts from BtW though... eventually ^^

짜증나

2011-12-30T23:41:00.001+08:00

I hate watching Korean music shows with people who have absolutely no knowledge about how the Korean music scene works.

Why do Korean groups always have so many members? It makes the stage looks so cluttered.

Why are their lyrics always repetitive? Don't they have anything else to sing about?

Why are all their dance moves [between different groups] the same?

Why do the guys all look like girls?

Why is he so sissy?

Why do they always face the audience with their butts?

Just stop, okay. Have you ever heard about the quote "don't say anything if you don't have anything good to say"? This is one of those times. It's not the first time you've commented so much about every single aspect of theirs under the sun, especially with regards to the group I happen to love the most.

If you don't like it, don't watch it, and don't spew comments that you know will rile people up. Just go away.

좋은 말이 없다면 제발 말하지 말구 조용히 보세요.
시끄러워요 진짜.

(예 아버지 이상의 말 다 너 한테 하는건이야.)

[NC-17] She's Dangerous

2011-12-30T17:35:00.000+08:00

Warnings:
- Slight sexual scenes.
- Includes violence and character death.

Author's notes:
Didn't even realise that I did not post this up. This was actually done more than a year ago - April 13, 2010 to be precise - and it's meant to be the shot that inspired Lost Reason. However, like the warnings above, viewer discretion is advised :) It's nothing too explicit though....... I think.

She's Dangerous

He crossed his arms in front of his chest, leaning leisurely into the leathered armchair that was placed strategically right in front of the stage. The loud music blasted into his ears, and he grimaced in response. His eyes followed the graceful but sexy dancing form of the woman who was gliding smoothly across the stage, teasing the customers in the venue by flashing her cleavage every now and then at the crowd. That earned plenty of cat-calls from the men, and some were even demanding her to push on further with her act.

He had tailed her since morning, going to random places that he couldn't quite put together their connections, and in the end, he ended up following her into a strip club where she works at. That explains the reason why he was currently seated in front – normally he wouldn't even bother entering junctures like these. But for the sake of his job, he had no choice.

Hankyung thought about the task he had received earlier, from his usual faceless employer. To be honest, he didn't quite understand why he trusted that man, considering the fact that they had never met before, and continued to help him with random jobs for the past four years. And these jobs weren't exactly clean either; not when guns and blood, along with blood-curdling screams of pain came into the picture.

He took another look at his target, but still couldn't quite figure what about her invited people to assassinate her, although he could feel a dangerous aura emanating from her. Was it because of her seductive prowess? However, he did not question the aims of these jobs. It was an unspoken rule between him and his employer.

The temperature of the room suddenly shot up by 10 degrees when the dancer started to circle around the pole, shooting sexy looks and winked sultrily at the men in the room, whom started to hoot and shout dirty words at her. She obligingly started to take off her clothing, piece by piece, flashing her skin at areas where she hadn't reached yet. Between removing the pieces of clothing, she would encircle her body around the pole, using it to accentuate her curves and bring the men's attention to the one part that they wanted the most. Needless to say, the men's eyes glistened with renewed lust when they caught sight of the trails of moisture left behind by the dancer on the metal pole, which glistened under the stage lights.

Hankyung shifted uncomfortably in his seat, when he could feel that his growing erection was beginning to pitch a tent in his pants. It really doesn't help the situation when the other customers around him are already groaning and moaning away as if they were the only people around in the room, apart from the sexy and almost-naked woman on the stage, damn it. And the sight of men thrusting at their shafts with looks of ecstasy is definitely not something Hankyung was interested in. He involuntarily gagged at the scene, and solemnly swore that he wouldn't step into places like this ever again.

Now, if he could only find a way to dump the thoughts of being turned on by the dancer out of the window…

Just as he was busily shifting his view away from the stage, he was suddenly grabbed by the collar of his jacket by someone, and a smooth hand gently grabbed him by the jaw, turning him to face the front once again. Hankyung realized that he was currently face to face with his target, their faces barely an inch apart from one another, and he could smell the perfume that she was wearing. Now that he they were so close to one another, Hankyung also noticed how beautiful she was… it was a pity that she was going to die soon.

"I'm sorry boys, I think I've just found the lucky customer for tonight…" she turned around and announced, earning plenty of disappointed groans from the men who were busily enjoying their fantasies just moments ago. The woman then pulled Hankyung off his chair, and led him by the hand towards the back of the stage.

"Where are we going, miss?" Hankyung found himself asking, as they walked down the dark corridors of the club.

"My room…" she said suggestively, and he couldn't help but loosen the top button of his shirt to allow him to breathe properly. "You must be new here… This is the first time I've seen you around."

And it will be your last, too, Hankyung silently added. "Er – yeah. My friend introduced me to this place. He said I would enjoy the entertainment here," he said politely.

"And judging by your looks, you're not Korean, are you…?" she asked, as they reached the end of the corridor and entered through the door.

He shook his head, and was taken by surprise when she shut the door behind them and pinned him against the wall, not even bothered to switch on the lights. "Good, because I love sexy, foreign men…" she whispered against his ear, and gave it a light nibble. He shivered at the contact, and stiffened when she unfastened several more buttons on his shirt, and started trailing kisses from his neck towards his partially-exposed chest.

Hankyung shifted the weight of his lower body a little in a rather futile attempt to suppress his growing erection, and she seemed to have noticed it. "A little needy down there, aren't we?" she smirked against his skin, and pressed her lower body closer against his. Hankyung cursed himself mentally when his body arched forward involuntarily. This is not the time to be sleeping around with the target.
However, his body seemed to have won the battle against his mind, because his knees weakened with every touch from her. The sight of her curvaceous body which was clad only in lacy, see-through undergarments further increased the temperature of the room around Hankyung, and he let out a throaty moan when her hands reached down into his pants, giving his throbbing member a teasing squeeze.

Pathetic was the only word he could use to describe himself at the moment. He had been trained to not give in to temptations, but apparently it was easier said than done. And the way she was making him feel…

Hankyung shook his head to clear the haze in his mind, only to be pushed onto the bed by his target. In the darkness, her silhouette was apparent under the moonlight, and he could see that she was unclasping her bra, then threw it aside. The next thing he knew, he could feel the sharp edge of a knife pressed against his neck, drawing small amounts of blood from the point where it met his damp skin. He cursed again in his mind, but remained composed on the exterior.

"What are you trying to do, miss?" he asked, feigning innocence.

"Don't act like you don't know anything. Do you think I didn't notice you tailing me around for the entire day, hmm?" she smirked, her voice dangerous.

Now he had finally realized why he felt that she was a dangerous person that shouldn't be underestimated. Hankyung was the best person to tail targets without being discovered – that's why he always had to take on jobs like these. His past targets usually only realize that they were being followed only when Hankyung revealed himself to them; some of them don't even know who killed them. And for this woman, she didn't even require a lot of time to notice him.

"That's very impressive," he said, clapping his hands in acknowledgement.

"Now tell me, why are you following me?" she pressed the blade deeper into his skin, causing more blood to trickle down Hankyung's toned abs.

Hankyung merely smirked in response. "That's for me to know, and for you to find out," he whispered, and whipped out a gun from the waistband of his pants, then pulled the trigger in one swift motion. Her eyes widened when the bullet pierced through the skin of her exposed chest and buried itself in one of the chambers of her heart, evidently shocked at the lack of opportunity to respond.

It took her several seconds before her vision blacked out, and her lifeless body lurched forward. He rolled to the side and moved out of the way before she collapsed on top of him. The last thing Hankyung needed was to walk out of the room with bloodstains on his clothes. That would draw way too much attention. As he was smoothing out his shirt and fastened the buttons once again, he was secretly thankful that he was wearing a black shirt. At least the wounds on his neck could be hidden with a simple act of lowering his head.

Taking one final look at his beautiful victim, he exited the room and closed the door quietly behind him.

Another target down.

Fragments of a Memory (Sequel to Angel of Death) - Chapter 1

2011-12-26T18:10:00.002+08:00

Author's Notes:
KYUHYUN IS BACK 8D

I've actually been writing this novel in the dark, interlacing new chapters between all my other (previously) ongoing novels. I know I left you guys with a huge cliffhanger in the form of the Epilogue on Angel of Death, but here I am to redeem myself and give you a proper explanation about why Kyuhyun came back...

...of course, there's a catch :D The reason will be interlaced in the chapters, so try to pick them up~ ♥

-❇-❇-❇-

Chapter 01

He was seated on a random surface in the pitch black space, plain staring into the distance with his eyes devoid of emotions. A sigh, then the space next to him emitted a dim glow. Habitually, he looked into the centre of the glow, watching the person within go about her daily life.

A slight rustling came from his right seconds later, but he calmly turned towards the direction of the noise, having already sensed yet another presence moments ago. His expressions remained empty, unreadable by others who do not have the ability to do so. The man that had appeared next to him was evidently not one of those, for he had an amused smile plastered on his pale face.

"Day after day, you would sit here and stare into that thing. What do you seek to gain? What will you obtain from this pointless habit of yours?" the middle-aged man mused, observing the younger one with great interest.

The man who was seated produced a mirthless chuckle at the query. "This ability exists for a reason, does it not? I'm merely making full use of it," he replied bluntly, not really looking at the person who had just joined him at the dark space. His eyes flickered towards the glow once again when he caught sight of a slight movement from the corner of his eye.

"If I weren't so fond of you, I wouldn't have allowed you to utilise that, Kyuhyun. You're an intelligent boy. I'm sure you understand what I'm trying to say," the other man said again, his intonation drastically changing into one that commanded authority.

"I apologise for my insolence, master," Kyuhyun immediately bowed slightly at the man, not really wanting to incur his wrath. He wasn't going to push his luck too far. The latter merely scoffed slightly, before ambling towards the source of the glow, peering intently into it to see what the younger man was looking at.

It was indeed unthinkable that his master would be so lenient with him, especially after he had defied his orders and even attempted to stand in his way two months ago. Kyuhyun had initially thought that his master would punish him severely for being unable to complete what he was sent back to the living realm to do, but nothing of that sort happened. His master didn't even go back on his words, sparing a certain person's life as he had promised.

It was definitely a pleasant surprise.

Aside from that, his master had issued a notice to the other angels of death, saying that Kyuhyun was to be in charge of the realm of death whenever he couldn't be found. It essentially told everyone else that they shouldn't even think of messing around with Kyuhyun. The man didn't know why his master was giving him such authority, especially when he had disobeyed the older man on many accounts, but he wasn't complaining.

In fact, he relished in the reality that he was able to do as he pleases in the realm of death upon returning to it. The first thing he made sure he did was to make none other than Chungho's life miserable - with consent from his master, of course. His master never liked anyone messing around with his minions, even if it were amongst themselves. He had a weird stand that beings of the same kind should stick together.

As one of the angels of death who lurked around a lot when he did not have any job to complete, Kyuhyun of course knew that the otherwise was true, having seen his fair share of conflicts occurring. None of them explicitly crossed that line, at least not too obviously. There were small scuffles here and there, none of them escalating into a level dire enough that nothing can be done to stop their fights.

Obviously they kept things under wraps so well that even their master did not realise that things had happened. At least they hoped that he didn’t have any knowledge of it.

But this time, his master was highly irritated at Chungho for trying to dictate his decisions. Thus an easy permission was granted to Kyuhyun; he grasped the opportunity and made the most out of it. Suffice to say, he ensured that the other angel was nothing less than completely battered. Aside from that, Chungho was also banished to the lower ranks by his master – Kyuhyun did not have a say in it, not that he begrudged that decision at all – having to become something akin a slave to the rest.

Immature as it may sound, Kyuhyun was delighted that he was able to order the annoying prick around. In fact, he thought that Chungho was lucky to be able to preserve his life - or life after death, however one may see it. He was tempted to take Chungho's life while treating him as his personal punching bag, having been incredibly annoyed at the latter for almost ruining her trust in him.

Even if he knew that there was no way he could live with her for the rest of her life, the least that could happen was for her to preserve the memories they made together instead of a hateful image of him. That was all Kyuhyun wanted; for his little-known re-existence to be remembered well by some, although it may seem selfish of him to have such a thought. It didn't matter if he were to be the one who suffered the most this way, only being able to gaze at the people who mattered most to him through a flickering source of glow.

If anything, Kyuhyun was comforted enough at the fact that they seem to be living their lives well, without showing any signs that they were still attempting to look for him. Jungsoo and Sungmin did, if only for a little while, but they eventually gave up after several weeks of fruitless searching. On the other hand, Hyeonmin seemed to be completely resigned to the fact that he wasn't coming back. She merely held on to several articles that he had left behind, but otherwise went about her daily activities as per normal.

Somehow that thought itself cut Kyuhyun up badly deep within. It was probably a part of his selfish desires; the human emotions were too deep-seeded by the time he had returned to the realm of death. They never really left, thus bogging him down with these annoying human feelings that he'd rather be left without.

He snapped out of his thoughts when a humoured chuckle rippled from his master’s throat. “You are being ridiculous, my pet. She obviously does not hold any regards for you anymore. She’s convinced that you no longer exist in the human world,” the pale middle-aged man mused, reading Kyuhyun’s expressions and thoughts like an open book again.

Kyuhyun irately blocked his master out of his head when he could feel something searching through his mind; his master made a mistake by giving him the ability to do so. “I’d appreciate it if you would stop meddling with my thoughts, master,” he said flatly.

“If you have nothing to hide, why should you worry?” the other shot back, the scheming smile still lingering upon his lips.

“Am I just a plaything to you, master?” Kyuhyun frowned. His master definitely had ‘screwing around with Kyuhyun’ right at the top of his list of favourite things to do. It wasn’t anything that he wasn’t used to receiving, however.

“That definitely depends on how you want to perceive my actions, really,” his master shrugged nonchalantly. “I would say that this is me showing my care for you. I wouldn’t want my favourite pet to have his senses blunted because of these human emotions now, would I?”

Said pet snorted and rolled his eyes. “Please, if you do indeed care about me – or any of us, for that matter – you wouldn’t have thrown me into this mess a year ago for your amusement. Also, if you do not want my angel of death senses to be attenuated, you would’ve thought of a way to remove those emotions instead of letting them bind to my being,” he muttered dryly, this time waving a hand over the long-forgotten glow to eliminate it. By the looks of it, he didn’t have the opportunity to monitor it at all. His master wasn’t giving him the space to do so.

“Would you have preferred it if I did not send you back to the living realm? Do bear in mind that I was the one who made it possible for you to meet that girl,” the older man pointed out, causing Kyuhyun to frown again. Damn him for having a point. “Also, I’ve tried removing them, but somehow it still remains latched onto you. Can’t do anything about that for now.”

He really would’ve believed in his master’s words, had he not caught sight of that amused smirk on the latter’s face.

“Should I be rejoicing over that, or should I be weeping in sorrow?” Kyuhyun deadpanned, his tone biting.

As much as he was tempted to mock his master for the lack of emotions, he couldn’t. The man definitely had some human emotions that could be conveniently bottled up and released at his own will. That would account for the times his master blew up at some angels of death for not doing their jobs properly.

Kyuhyun was definitely counting his lucky stars for not getting embroiled in that wrath.

“It depends on how you would like to look at it, really. At least your life’s not as dull as the rest of them,” his master said again, evidently enjoying every bit of this particular moment. “That being said, it’s been two months since you came back. Aren’t you sick of watching her every move every single day?”

“No, not really,” he shook his head. “At least I know that I have something to do. You haven’t exactly given me a single job for two full months, you know. How do you expect me to stay in this boring place without something to keep me preoccupied?”

“Do you think you’re capable of killing someone – or making someone kill themselves, whichever pleases you – when you’re in full possession of human nature? I certainly don’t think so,” the older one of the pair shot back, the infuriating grin still plastered on his face. Kyuhyun made sure that his master was still blocked out of his mind before thinking about how tempted he was to wipe that smirk off his master’s face by force.

“Yeah, as if it’s my fault for refusing to let go of those emotions. I would be more than glad to be rid of them,” Kyuhyun huffed. “So do you seriously expect me to rot in the realm of death? I mean, if even you are unable to return me to the state that an angel of death should originally be in, what’s the point of keeping me here?”

“Tsk, aren’t you the least bit contented that you’re different from the rest?” his master asked, slightly annoyed. Nevertheless, absolutely no verbal response was required from his minion. The look that Kyuhyun was brandishing at him sufficed to explain everything. He sighed despondently. “This feeling of ‘love’ in humans is such a troublesome feeling to have.”

“I think this could very well be the first time that I’m wholeheartedly agreeing with your words, master,” he said, bending forward so that he could rest his elbows on his thighs. “But you would have to actually be embroiled in love to experience the full magnitude of it.”

Kyuhyun’s master scoffed at that. “Stop being mushy in front of me, or I’ll really have to go through great lengths to make sure that side of your feelings is eliminated,” he warned, though his expressions turned contemplative in the next moment.

“Are you serious about not wanting to stay here at all?” he then said after several moments of silence, causing Kyuhyun to perk up with deep interest. What was his master trying to do now?

“You know well enough what my answer would be, master,” Kyuhyun replied calmly and evenly, trying not to allow his excitement show. He didn’t want to get worked up right now only to be disappointed later. Kyuhyun had learned enough from experience to never trust in his master’s words unless it was reconfirmed time and again.

His eyes followed his master’s movements as the latter ambled towards yet another unseen surface in the dark room, before he settled down upon it. From Kyuhyun’s position, it certainly seemed as though his master was seated in mid-air. Nothing that he wasn’t used to in this realm, really; especially not when the ruler of the realm of death was concerned.

“Then allow me to strike a deal with you. You’re free to refuse right now, though. I won’t divulge the details at all if you do; but if you remain adamant in listening to what I’m about to propose, you can’t weasel yourself out of it. There’s no other choice for you but to accept this whole offer,” his master drawled lazily, feigning a yawn as he allowed Kyuhyun some time to contemplate over his words.

The younger man had his eyes narrowed at the terms that were offered to him. “What if I change my mind after hearing what you’ve put forth, master? After going through that mission you gave me last year, I’m not too sure whether I’d like to agree with everything,” Kyuhyun frowned, approaching his master with pure caution. There was no saying what the latter might do, despite his calm demeanour at this particular moment.

“I’d have to kill you,” he said as-a-matter-of-factly, as though it wasn’t a big deal for him if he ended Kyuhyun’s life just like that.

Then again, it probably wasn’t. His master could find a substitute for him with a snap of his fingers; there were probably angels of death out there who were similar in terms of abilities with Kyuhyun. He wouldn’t know, of course. Kyuhyun wasn’t one to hang out with the rest. It saved him the trouble of being friendly to the rest, and in order to avoid any form of conflicts. Other angels weren’t exactly the type of people he would want to get into a fight with, considering how none of them knew what powers the others held.

In the end, Kyuhyun heaved a sigh under the watchful eyes of his master, and steadily lifted his head up to meet the latter’s gaze. “Fine, tell me what you have in mind.”

To Singapore I go!

2011-12-26T09:16:00.000+08:00

Will be missing for a couple of days, hehe.

Don't miss me ♥

Love After Love - Chapter 31 (Final)

2011-12-24T18:06:00.002+08:00

Chapter 31 ~ Final

He quietly observed the other man seated in the armchair from a corner of the room, heart wrenching at the sight of the latter burying his head under his arms. In spite of the fact that there were more than five people in the room at that particular moment, it was submerged in an eerie silence. No one knew what to say, and none of them dared to move a single muscle.

Unable to take the suffocating atmosphere any longer, he heaved a dejected sigh and excused himself from the room, deciding to take some fresh air outside. However, while walking past the waiting room for visitors, he was effectively halted in his steps by yet another scene that he didn’t really want to see.

He had half the mind to walk away and pretend that he did not notice a thing, but his guilty conscience got the better of him. Another sigh escaped his lips as he kicked off his shoes, and took a seat next to the frail-looking woman. Several moments of silence passed with some soft sobbing thrown into the mix, before he gingerly wrapped an arm around the woman’s shoulder in a lame attempt to comfort her.

“Mrs. Kang, are you alright…?” he spoke up softly, causing the woman in his arms to jump in surprise. Clearly she did not notice him walking into the room, nor realise that he had slipped into the seat beside her while she was still in a grieving mood.

She immediately dried the tears on her face with the help of a piece of tissue, before forcing a smile onto her cracked lips. “My, that was embarrassing… I’m sorry that you had to see that, Jongwoon,” she laughed nervously.

The Super Junior vocalist shook his head, a small smile plastered on his face as well. “It’s alright, Mrs. Kang. You shouldn’t hold back your tears if you have a strong urge to cry. At least you would feel better after that,” he commented politely.

Mrs. Kang sniffed a little at his words, inhaling deeply when she felt the surge of negative emotions attempting to take over her entire being once again. “I’m fine, Jongwoon,” she reassured him once she was sure that she had regained her composure. “I’m just… upset that I had allowed this to happen under my watch. I feel somewhat responsible for her admission this time,” the older woman said.

“You shouldn’t bruise yourself deep inside because of this, Mrs. Kang. None of us would have wanted this to happen, but at the same time, we can’t keep an eye over her in every passing second of the day,” Jongwoon explained, trying to ease her guilt.

“But still; Jungsoo placed his trust in me to look after her while he greeted his guest. If only I did not walk away and leave her unattended for ten minutes just to serve the tea, we wouldn’t even be seated here.”

Jongwoon smiled sadly at Angie’s mother’s words, proceeding to hold her calloused hand tightly in an attempt to comfort her. “I don’t think Teukkie hyung is putting the blame on you. If anything, he’s probably bashing himself up to a greater extent,” he replied, feeling saddened when he recalled his leader’s expressions before he had left the room earlier. He had never seen Jungsoo in such a depressed state prior to this – not even after his inevitable split from Angie years ago. The Super Junior leader seemed lifeless, even.

He would feel the same way too, if the woman who was lying on the hospital bed was someone he loved but could not be comforted by his words because she was trying to shut everyone else out of her life.

“He has no reason to feel that way; it’s not his fault,” Angie’s mother protested again.

Jongwoon frowned at the older woman. At this rate, the self-blaming would eventually turn into a never-ending cycle, with the both of them perceiving that they were at fault for allowing something like this to happen to Angie right under their watch.

However, before he could speak up his mind, someone had joined them in the room. He was pleasantly surprised when he realised who it was.

“Teukkie hyung–” the vocalist started, only to keep his mouth glued shut when said man sent a firm look at him. Jungsoo obviously wasn’t in the mood to be talking about other things, but it appeared as though he had something to discuss with his mother-in-law. “I’ll… take my leave for now. Should get something into my stomach,” he then said quietly and excused himself.

Jungsoo watched on thankfully as Jongwoon seemed to have taken the hint that there was a purpose in the Super Junior leader actually leaving his wife’s room. When the younger man turned around the corner, Jungsoo proceeded to take a seat in another unoccupied armchair in the room, then turned to look at his mother-in-law with a grim expression.

“Mother, you really shouldn’t be blaming yourself for that. None of us would have expected her to do something so… drastic,” he gulped, apparently having heard what Jongwoon and his mother-in-law were discussing about just moments ago.

Jungsoo could vividly remember how his wife’s mother shouted so urgently for him while he was still engaged in a conversation with his ex-girlfriend. At that particular moment, his mind was completely blank, feeling at a loss about the situation. Even though he tried so hard not to allow the negative thoughts from taking over his mind, he still failed to do so.

In the end, his worst fears came true when he skidded to a stop at the entrance of the room he had previously left Angie in. His head throbbed painfully at the sight of his mother-in-law cradling a limp-looking Angie in her arms, and he quite literally wanted to pass out when he noticed the trail of blood trickling from his wife’s wrist.

She had tried to commit suicide when her mother left her alone for a short moment.

“Is she… is she already awake?” Angie’s mother stuttered.

Jungsoo shook his head again at the question. “She’s still sleeping from the effects of the medication. The other boys are looking after her in the meantime,” he informed the older woman, whom visibly relaxed a little at the knowledge.

“That’s a relief to hear…” she sighed, massaging the bridge of her nose to make herself feel slightly more at ease.

“Mother, I need to ask you something,” Jungsoo began, holding the older woman’s gaze in an intense manner.

When he was observing his mother-in-law’s mannerisms during the quiet ambulance ride from his house to the hospital, he noticed that something was amiss. The woman didn’t seem to be as affected as he had expected her to be, especially being the first person who had walked in upon Angie’s motionless body.

“What is it…?”

“This…” he said, hesitating a little. What if his intuition was wrong? “This isn’t the first time this has happened, is it?” he then forced the remainder of his thoughts out. There was only one way to find out, and if he ran away from asking, then he would continue to remain in the dark – possibly forever.

At the sound of his question, the older woman heaved a sigh and hung her head low. “No, this isn’t,” she admitted, and Jungsoo swore his blood froze at the information.

“What… what drove her to such an action back then?”

“She was in a deep depression shortly after moving to London because she didn’t want to leave Korea in the first place, and wasn’t able to cope with the sudden change in environment,” Mrs. Kang explained, voice choking at the memories. “You know how she loves to keep everything to herself if she doesn’t want to make us fret over her. We were at fault for not noticing her out-of-norm behaviour, but it was too late when we found her doing the same thing one day.”

Jungsoo squeezed his eyes shut at that, feeling upset that his wife had actually suffered that much in the past. He also wondered why she had never mentioned such things to him, but realised that Angie probably didn’t want him to worry too much about something that was already in the past.

“I never knew…”

“She asked me not to tell you about it. I’m sorry.”

He looked up in confusion. “But why are you telling me this now?”

“Because I don’t think it’s fair to you if I kept quiet about such things any longer, not when history had repeated itself,” she flashed a thin smile at him. “We need to do something about this, Jungsoo. My daughter is evidently too affected by the loss of your baby…”

The man swore that his heart fell even though he hasn’t been told of the specifics yet. He felt oddly unsettled by her words. “What do you have in mind, Mother?”

“Her previous consultant psychiatrist is still residing in London, so I would have to bring her back if we need him to see her again,” the older woman had said, and the blood effectively drained from his entire being.

This can’t be happening.

* * * * *

Despite having ample time to prepare himself mentally, he still couldn’t bring himself to believe that the day he was trying so hard to avoid had finally loomed.

Separation was separation. No amount of time could have readied him for this, especially not when the love of his life was included in the equation.

He couldn’t let go. He didn’t want to.

But he had to, no matter how he tried to deny the reality.

For days after his mother-in-law had put forth her proposal to bring Angie back to London to seek treatment – by then they were certain that she was suffering from yet another period of extreme depression as a result of losing her baby – Jungsoo attempted to change her mind. He had suggested for Angie to seek treatment from the psychiatrists in Seoul itself, so that he could be close to her as he picked up the pieces for the both of them.

Angie’s mother agreed, of course, feeling that it was important for her daughter’s husband to be close by in order to console her in case anything went wrong during these consultations. It appeared to them that Angie would only respond towards the people who were the closest to her, talking a lot more when her mother or Jungsoo was around.

Yet that was precisely the root of the problem. Although her mood had evidently become a lot more stable with the help of medications, the psychiatrists still couldn’t get to her because she was shutting everyone else out. She refused to talk during these consultation sessions, leaving Jungsoo to do all the explaining. The doctors said it wasn’t helping her situation at all.

They went to doctor after doctor, hoping that there was something that at least one of them could do about Angie’s condition, but everyone said the same thing at the end of it all. It was probably a better idea for her to consult the person who had treated her before, as she would be much closer to that doctor than everyone else combined.

Hence the separation was set in motion, close to two months after Angie’s suicide attempt.

Jungsoo’s hands would tremble uncontrollably every time he had to do something related to her imminent departure. When he took the responsibility to book the flight tickets. When he packed Angie’s bags on her behalf, two nights before her scheduled flight. When he tried to lock the door prior to leaving for the airport – Donghae saw how much he was struggling with the keys, and took over the task instead.

The younger man’s heart broke at the forced smile that Jungsoo flashed at him as he handed over the bunch of keys.

All of the Super Junior members attempted to talk to their leader whom they could see was completely shattered deep within. They wanted to share his worries, to console him, to convince him that this was only a temporary measure, and that their sister-in-law would return when she was better. But they knew that no amount of consolation could pull him out of his current state.

His love for Angie was far too deep for anyone to comprehend. No one knew where to begin.

Again, seeing how their beloved group leader and friend was huddled close together with the woman they had all come to love and respect over the years in a quiet corner of the airport overlooking the runway, they couldn’t bring themselves to disturb the pair. Not in the final few moments that the pair deserved to have together before their unavoidable separation.

Heechul and Jongwoon exchanged a forlorn look with each other, before pulling the rest of their group members along with them.

* * * * *

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to him in a desperate attempt to hold on to her, even though he knew that any further measure was futile. He swallowed the invisible lump in his throat when his head reminded him about the amount of time he had left to spend with her. It was taunting him; slowly pushing him over the edge.

Jungsoo looked down with a genuine smile when he felt Angie’s hand resting on his thigh, before he turned to gaze at her face. He meticulously remembered about each and every curve of her features, imprinting them in his memory. After all, he had no idea how much time would pass by before he could see her again. Her road to recovery would probably be long, and he couldn’t take the chance.

“I’m sorry, Jungsoo, love,” she whispered out of the blue, as if she could read his mind. Her voice was slightly strained from the way her head was angled on his shoulder.

He chuckled softly, planting a chaste kiss on her glossed lips. “What are you apologising for, sweetheart?”

“I’m sorry for not being a good wife like I had vowed to be during our wedding ceremony,” Angie said. “I’m sorry for making you cry and worry over me, much more than I should have.”

“Silly girl,” he teased, though his heart twisted painfully at her words. She was evidently putting all the blame on herself for everything that had happened over the past few months, although it wasn’t her fault. She was merely an unfortunate victim of it all. “You’re my wife. There shouldn’t be a distinction between who should care for the other more in a marriage.”

She pouted a little at him. “But still… I was supposed to make you happy, not take you away from your dreams and the place where you belong,” she sighed. Angie then linked her fingers with his, habitually observing both their platinum wedding rings that gleamed under the fluorescent lights.

“What are you talking about?” Jungsoo admonished her. “I’ve told you this many times before, sweetheart. You are my happiness. You are part of my dreams now. The place where I truly belong to is next to you. So please; please stop thinking that you have burdened me because you did not.”

“Weren’t you upset when I tried to push you away?” Angie looked up at him, flashing a wry smile at her husband.

She came to realise that her actions shortly after finding out about their baby’s demise was wrong on all levels, a few sessions into her rehabilitation regime. She felt truly sorry for doing it – subconsciously or not – because she knew how much hurt she had put Jungsoo through.

But above all, she felt relieved and thankful that he did not abandon her during the darkest moments of her life. Had he not stuck with her until now, she probably would not be walking on the face of this world any longer. The depression would have made quick work of her.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t the least bit unhappy when you did that,” came the earnest answer, though Jungsoo was quick to explain himself further before she had the wrong idea. “But you were going through a tough time. If I’m not patient enough to stay by your side, what kind of husband would I be?”

“I’m sorry…”

“Stop apologising. I told you it’s not your fault,” he frowned, pinching her nose playfully before he continued enveloping her in a tight embrace. A sigh escaped his lips when yet another plane took off for its destination on the runway in front of them. It only served to remind him how close he was to letting go of the woman in his arms.

Jungsoo clamped his eyes shut when he felt that the tears were trying to break through his defences and resolution. He couldn’t allow his wife to see him cry. Not here, not now. He didn’t want to make her worry further about him. All he wanted for her was to get better, so that they could go on with their lives in a normal manner.

He wanted them to pick up the pieces and rebuild their lives together, just like how it was supposed to be.

“I don’t want to leave,” Angie suddenly said after several moments of silence, causing him to perk up in his position. Even though they had been busying themselves in preparation for her flight today, she had never uttered a single word about it. Not until now.

“I don’t want you to leave either,” Jungsoo replied with a strained smile. “But this is the only way for you to get better,” he then added, pecking her gently on the forehead. He gulped again when the surge of emotions took over his entire being, still trying not to cry. It was getting harder, what with her saying the words that he didn’t want to hear coming from her lips.

She apologised once more at that, then: “I promise I’ll come back when I’m well. I definitely will.”

That was the final straw for him. He pulled her into his embrace and started sobbing uncontrollably, unable to hold his feelings in any longer. “When that day comes, I’ll be here, Angie. I’ll be waiting for you, no matter how long it takes,” Jungsoo choked.

Angie hugged him back tightly, the tears also starting to fall from the corner of her eyes. “Promise me that you’ll continue to do the things that you love. Don’t give up on your career for my sake,” she urged, gripping onto the material of his jacket in a desperate manner. She really didn’t want to leave, but as Jungsoo had said, this was probably the best choice for the both of them.

Much to her surprise, Jungsoo actually shook his head. “I can’t do anything properly without you here, especially if it involves me smiling a lot at the camera or the fans. I can’t lie to my own feelings,” he whispered into her ear, smoothing her long locks down in a rhythmic manner. He inhaled deeply, trying to remember how she smelled like. He could feel that it was going to be a long goodbye.

“What… what are you trying to imply, love?” she blurted out, trying to look up at him. He did not allow her to do so, however, as he continued to keep his arms wrapped tightly around her small frame.

“I’ll enlist into the army,” he answered. This time, the shock was too great for Angie, so much that she found the strength to push herself away from Jungsoo.

“What? But why?” she asked, confused.

“I told you – I can’t force a smile when I’m worrying about you, silly,” he smiled through the tears staining his face. “I’ll finish this round of promotions with the boys, then I’ll leave.”

Just then, the airport staff made an announcement through the speakers, urging all of the passengers who were bound for London to make their way to the departure gates. The couple exchanged a weary look with each other, feeling even more heavy-hearted that their time was up. It was way too soon for their liking.

“Are you really sure that this is what you want?” Angie asked urgently when she caught her mother walking in their direction with her hand luggage in tow. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I’m sure of it, Angie. It’ll give us two years to settle down – that should be more than enough, won’t it?” Jungsoo asked, cupping her cheek in a loving manner. Angie observed her husband for a second longer, but eventually a smile broke through when she noticed the resolution in his eyes.

“I won’t forgive you if you get hurt, you hear me?” she therefore reprimanded, a fresh set of tears making their way down her cheek.

Before he could even respond to her question, Angie had already pulled him in for a deep kiss, determined to leave a final impression that would last them for as long as they were apart. He reacted to the kiss just as passionately, but reluctantly pulled away from his wife when his mother-in-law reached them.

The couple exchanged one last hug with everyone else looking on, before they walked towards the gates together, hands still linked tightly together till the last minute. While the flight attendants verified Angie’s and her mother’s boarding passes, the young woman turned to look at her husband with a smile.

“I love you, Jungsoo, don’t you ever forget that,” she declared, leaning in to peck him on the lips again.

Although he did not reply to her words when she finally pulled away – he was definitely trying to put a rein on his feelings – Angie fully understood what his answer was. And that reassurance was more than enough for her to find the courage to take the first step towards their future.

-❇-❇-❇-

Author's Notes:
I started with this fic on December 18, 2010, and now, I'm ending it on December 18, 2011. It's been one great year with this novel, beginning with fluff and happiness, then slowly progressing to lots of fights and anguish in between. I do admit that this novel of mine has been one heck of a rollercoaster ride of emotions. I've been affected way too much by it for the past year.

I'm truly reluctant to let go of this world, too. But this is reality. For every beginning, there would be an ending point. I do hope that this is a satisfactory ending (though I really doubt so, haha!) for this story. Don't kill me, please?

Anyway, I'd like to thank everyone for sticking with me for the past year, and I really do hope that you've enjoyed this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it.Thank you again! I love you

Love After Love - Chapter 30

2011-12-23T10:05:00.002+08:00

Chapter 30

Excessive pride and the incessant craving for recognition, as he had learned, could impede the better judgement of even the brightest of persons. It probably would not be an exaggeration if he were to say that it drove them crazy, even.

Since the day that Yejin had paid a visit to the hospital ward and caused his wife to go ballistic at something she had said, Jungsoo found himself wondering what they had done wrong to the pair of siblings. Regardless of what he did to ask Yejin, the younger woman still would not divulge the exact contents of her conversation with his wife. Of course, he did not want to risk provoking Angie once again by finding it out from her, so he resorted to letting the matter slide completely.

That did not stop him from constantly thinking about the situation, however.

But indulging with a long conversation with his wife’s ex-colleague led him to the discovery of the rest of the story. Jungsoo finally realised why Angie did not seem to have recognised Yejin as Shimhyun’s sister, despite the fact that they used to be a couple in the past. He had a nagging suspicion that Shimhyun never really talked about his family or his background, judging from what Yejin had told him.

Apparently Shimhyun had never invited Angie to his house before, for the main reason that his household was in a pretty messed up state back then. He did not want to let Angie witness how his father would drown himself in alcohol even in the day, because of a failing business that led him into a state of depression.

Yejin had told Jungsoo that Shimhyun hated his own family, feeling that every single person was a disgrace to him – including herself. Day after day, he would degrade her and trample all over her pride, refusing to acknowledge her success in the activities she had dabbled in, even though she was his sister. To him, no one was ever good enough. He would rather associate with people who had absolutely no blood ties with him than to spend his day with his family members.

She also enumerated how Shimhyun suddenly left England for Korea without giving any decent explanation to his family members, only citing that he had received an offer for a lucrative job in their home country. It wasn’t until much later that Yejin had found out that her brother had returned to Korea to go after his first love, and through the online Korean news portals, she came to know about his imprisonment because he had raped Angie.

Wanting to get a decent explanation for his actions, and appreciating the fact that she had the opportunity to mock him for his idiocy, Yejin came to Korea after her brother the moment she had graduated from the most prestigious School of Pharmaceutical Sciences in the country. Little did she expect Shimhyun to ignore the fact that she had clinched a huge success academically.

In fact, he had challenged her to get close to Angie without arousing the woman’s suspicions, wanting Yejin to help him out with his twisted plans to ruin Angie’s life. He gave her the task of coming up with a decent plot because she could walk around freely, so she would know better about what might work.

Without giving it much thought, Yejin had agreed at once, refusing to allow him to look down upon her any longer.

That was how she became embroiled in the whole mess, Jungsoo was told. He could vividly remember how his fists were clenched tight as Yejin explained further about what she had done, including how she had bought Jihye over to help her out with the siblings’ plans. He literally wanted to hit himself when Yejin revealed that she was actually the one pretending to be his friend from high school on the phone – Jihye had apparently fed her with the information.

Jungsoo really could not believe that his old flame would be sold out so easily, although he did not know the details behind their agreement. Friends were not supposed to betray each other in such a manner, but he should have known better.

Above all, he was appalled at himself for being so gullible, for playing right into their plans without even the slightest hint of suspicion. Angie was right; trust should not be given out so easily to others. And because of their little slip up, their lives were ruined.

The Super Junior leader gasped softly when someone touched him softly on the arm, which effectively shook him out of his reverie. His eyes flickered back to the lone figure seated on the edge of the cot, realising for the first time in God-knows-how-long that he had his eyes off his wife, before turning to look at the person who had approached him from behind.

He had a wry smile on his face when he noticed that it was his mother-in-law, and at the same time feeling glad that Angie was still safe and sound. Jungsoo had a nagging feeling that he should not leave his wife unattended, because her mood was still rather labile.

If anything, he was thankful that she no longer required tranquilising drugs to keep herself calm after returning home, nor was she plagued by nightmares in her sleep. But at the same time, it worried him as well because Angie kept mum about her thoughts. He had no idea what she was thinking at the moment.

“Jungsoo, aren’t you tired of standing here?” Angie’s mother asked gently, her eyes travelling to gaze sadly at her daughter, and then back to him. It broke her heart to see how the loving pair fell into such a state.

Ever since Angie had been discharged from the hospital a week ago, this had been their routine. Her daughter would always walk into the room which they had specially renovated to welcome their newborn the first thing in the morning, staying there for hours on end without moving or talking much. If it wasn’t for her or Jungsoo feeding her, she would have probably skipped out on her meals as well.

Jungsoo, on the other hand, would always stand in this particular position, just watching his wife sadly from the entrance to the room. Initially, he would attempt to talk to her, to hug her close to him in order to give her some form of comfort, but Angie would never fail to push him away. Eventually, he resorted to watching over her quietly, only going to her aid whenever he thought she required it.

“No, I’m fine,” the man spoke up softly, voice hoarse. It didn’t take much for the older woman to guess that he hadn’t had anything to drink for the morning, and she sighed softly at the thought.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through this, Jungsoo…” Angie’s mother lamented, moving to take hold of her son-in-law’s hand in her wrinkled ones. “You’re supposed to be performing on stage and doing activities with your group members, not getting cooped up at home to look after my daughter…”

He gasped at his mother-in-law’s words, feeling alarmed that she harboured such thoughts. “What are you talking about, Mother?” he panicked. “I really don’t mind doing this at all – it’s my choice. When I got married to Angie, I vowed to take care of her no matter what happens. My obligations at home outweigh my responsibilities as a singer right now.”

Mrs. Kang smiled earnestly at his answer, this time cupping his cheek with her calloused hand. The tears brimmed in her eyes; she was glad that her daughter was married to a man who refused to abandon her despite the fact that his wife was completely ignoring him, to the point that he wasn’t even hesitant in throwing away the other things that mattered to him.

“Angie’s lucky to have you in her life… I don’t know what I’d do without you taking care of my baby girl.”

“Mother, I should be the one who should feel lucky. Angie’s an amazing woman, and I wouldn’t think about leaving her at all. She needs my support even more right now; there’s no way I can give up on her. I can’t. I won’t,” he said resolutely, eyes flickering back in his wife’s direction.

His lips quivered in an attempt to hold back the tears when he saw how Angie was lying on top of the cot, stroking a soft toy gently with a smile on her face. She had been doing that a lot these days, occasionally talking to it as though it was their newborn. He did not have the heart to correct her.

“And I trust that you will be there for her until the end,” her mother smiled, though both their attentions were diverted when the sound of the doorbell reverberated through the quiet house.

Jungsoo exchanged a look with his mother-in-law, silently reassuring her that he would answer it. The latter nodded once in response, automatically taking over his position in watching over her daughter while he was away. She knew how worried he was over her daughter after all, as he was constantly afraid that Angie would hurt herself.

She also knew about his tendencies to cry silently in the middle of the night after he had tucked Angie in, frequently blaming himself for being unable to do anything to cheer her up.

Mrs. Kang looked on sadly at his retreating back, wondering when things would change for the better between them. They deserved a much happier life.

* * * * *

“What are you doing here?” he reflexively snapped the moment he opened the door, as he was greeted by the sight of someone he had least expected to drop by.

The woman flinched slightly at his acidic intonation, but stood her ground nonetheless. It wasn’t easy for her to coerce herself into making a trip to this particular household, and she wasn’t prepared to leave without uttering a single word. “I’m just here to see how you’re doing, Jungsoo. Did I catch you at a bad time?” she asked meekly, fidgeting with the hem of her coat as she waited for his answer.

She noticed how he threw a concerned look at the general direction of the second floor of the house, before he grunted softly and turned back to her with a slightly annoyed expression. “I suppose I can spare some time. Come on in,” he then sighed, shifting slightly in his position to allow her in.

Nevertheless, a frown took over his expressions when he noticed that she merely stood at the foot of the stairs after he had closed the door, still looking at him hesitantly. “Jihye, do you really intend to finish this conversation without taking a seat?” he asked sarcastically, still unable to prevent the annoyance from bubbling up within him.

Despite the fact that he knew she wasn’t the main culprit who had tried to mess up his relationship with Angie – the plan succeeded, if he might add – Jungsoo still couldn’t bring himself to forgive the woman. The feelings of betrayal were deeply seated within him, and he doubted that such negative emotions would dissipate anytime soon. Probably not ever, but he wouldn’t know.

“I–” Jihye started, biting on her lower lip hesitantly as she considered about what she should say in the face of the angry side of Jungsoo. Having dated him in the past, she knew perfectly well that she had to choose her words carefully at times like these. She really didn’t want to provoke him further. “It’s fine if you would prefer it this way,” she finished.

Her head snapped up in surprise when the fair-skinned man turned on his heels and marched into another room without uttering a single word. She was at a loss as a result of his silent actions, wondering whether she should – whether she was allowed to – follow him. In the end, Jihye found herself scuttling along when he prodded his head through the doorway and looked at her expectantly, realising that he was trying to invite her into the living room all this while.

They sat in silence for a short moment, with her stealing occasional glances at the man she used to love – and probably still does, she wasn’t sure. Jihye could see that he had not been sleeping well for quite some time now; the dark circles around his eyes were more than enough proof of it. She bit her lip again at the realisation, feeling extremely guilty for having a hand in causing it one way or another.

“If you’re just going to sit there without saying anything, I would appreciate it if you could just kindly leave. I’m not in the mood to entertain guests at the moment,” his displeased voice spoke up moments later, feeling fed up that he was dragged away from his wife’s side to accompany someone who preferred to remain mute.

When Jungsoo stood up and was about to leave, she immediately reached out for him. Jihye flinched again when he glared at her at the contact, and withdrew her hand at once.

“Wait,” she pleaded. “I’m sorry; I didn’t know that you were expecting me to start the conversation. I’ll make this quick,” Jihye then amended, sensing that he didn’t really want to be graced with her presence. She couldn’t blame him though.

“Good. Now what exactly are your intentions in paying me a visit? I don’t recall giving you my home address at all,” Jungsoo said indifferently.

“Yejin… I asked her for it. I hope you don’t mind.”

The man scoffed in response. “Of course, I should have expected it since it’s not a part of public knowledge. Well there’s nothing here for any of you to damage any longer, unless you have every intentions of harming my wife’s life.”

Jihye clenched her fist at his words, willing herself not to raise her voice at him despite her frustration. She was at a wrong here; she didn’t have the luxury to yell. She had no right. “Jungsoo, I’m really sorry, okay? I know what I did was wrong, so please, tell me how should I make up for it,” she therefore pleaded. She had lost sleep after hearing about the untoward incident that befell his family because of the guilt.

“Unless you have a way of resurrecting lives, there’s nothing you can do,” he shot back, throwing his head back in a mirthless laugh. Jihye noted how his voice trembled, realising that he was trying to put a reign on his grieving. He was forcing himself to be strong.

Before she could reply to that, someone suddenly walked into the room with a tray of tea. Jungsoo noticed that as well, and he quickly got up from his seat and fussed over the older woman, quietly telling her that she shouldn’t have to worry about serving guests. Jihye observed her closely, realising that she seemed unfamiliar. She made a wild guess that it was Angie’s mother who was here to take care of her daughter.

She nodded politely at the older woman when the latter sent a smile in her direction, watching quietly as she left. Jihye vaguely wondered how she truly felt about the fate of her daughter, mainly because she did not seem to allow her emotions to show themselves on her expressions. Her attention flickered back to Jungsoo when he heaved a sigh and sank into the sofa across her once again.

“I’m… I’m really sorry for what had happened to Angie, Jungsoo. I truly am,” she spoke up moments later, deciding to take the risk. He didn’t seem to be as upset as he did after receiving the sudden visit from his mother-in-law.

“I know,” came the reply, causing Jihye’s eyes to widen in surprise. She definitely wasn’t expecting that. “I’m sorry for my foul mood. It’s just that… I’m terribly frustrated at everything at the moment,” he confessed. Jihye had the urge to envelope him in a hug, but fought back against those thoughts. She wasn’t sure whether Jungsoo would welcome such an act.

“There’s no need to apologise, Jungsoo. I understand how you feel. I would’ve reacted in the same way if I were you,” she smiled in spite of the situation, hoping that she could at least lighten up his mood slightly. It felt weird to see him being in such a gloomy state. She liked it better when he had a genuine smile on his face. “If there’s anything I could be of help–” Jihye began again, only to be interrupted when a scream and an urgent “Jungsoo, come quick!” came from upstairs.

The both of them visibly stiffened at the suddenness of the event, exchanging a silent look at the other as though it would solve the questions in their minds. Seconds later, however, Jungsoo muttered a string of silent curses, and then made a mad dash for the stairs.

Something did not feel quite right to him, but he desperately hoped that he was wrong.

That Someone Is You - Chapter 8

2011-12-22T09:04:00.002+08:00

08

She giggled softly when someone slid into the chair right opposite her, thoroughly amused by the other person’s presence. Despite the fact that the man was acting seemingly normal to the rest of the people around them, she was still able to find the humour out of it.

“What are you laughing at? Did I do something embarrassing?” the man’s genuinely curious voice spoke up when he noticed how she shook her head with a small smile on her face. She didn’t even acknowledge his existence, burying herself back into her pile of books without uttering a single word.

“Nothing in particular,” she muttered distractedly when he started prodding at her arm, her pen gliding smoothly across the pages of her notebook which was slowly getting filled up, line by line. She made sure to keep her voice down low, not wanting to risk getting thrown out of the library for the second time in a week.

The man seated across the table was of course the culprit in her previous encounter, as was he during all the other times that the cranky librarian had sent a disapproving glare in their direction for giggling too loudly.

“That doesn’t sound like ‘nothing’ to me,” he then commented, feeling slightly incensed by her blatant cover up. That was when he thought of something, and the corner of his lips pulled up into a smirk. “Of course, that is unless you were overjoyed to see me here to the point that you couldn’t hold your enthusiasm in,” he suggested, leaning forward to hold her gaze.

He grinned triumphantly when she turned scarlet at his words, indicating that he had hit the jackpot. She was too easy a target to tease, and he greatly enjoyed doing so too.

“No way, Shin-il sunbae. I’ve seen you way too frequently to remotely feel ecstatic about your presence now,” she laughed again, finally taking a break from her studying and leaned back into her very comfortable seat. She figured out that there was not much of a possibility for her to continue with her revision, now that he was around.

But of course, she wasn’t quite telling the truth. Despite the fact that Shin-il would try to disturb her on a daily basis, regardless of her location on campus, she oddly did not feel remotely annoyed at his advances and actions. Her senior was an enjoyable person to be with, and she was flattered to receive so much attention from a good-looking man like him.

However, she would often feel surprised whenever he merely engages in short conversations with girls who were a lot more attractive than her in terms of looks. It was to the point that she somehow had the suspicion that he wasn’t interested in them at all. Many girls who came in their direction – duly ignoring her presence, of which she sincerely appreciated – have tried and failed to gain his attention, something which Seohyeon enjoyed on a daily basis.

She didn’t like the scathing looks she had received after these encounters though.

“What did I tell you about the suffix, Seohyeon?” Shin-il pouted, evidently not too pleased that she was still being formal with him. But her defiance was precisely what made him so much more attracted to her. He loved girls who weren’t afraid to stand their ground. All the other girls he had chased after would willingly throw themselves at him, and quite frankly, he was getting bored.

“I told you that I’m not used to removing suffixes if I’m not close enough to someone,” she grinned apologetically.

“So should I count myself lucky since you’re at least not addressing me as ‘Shin-il-sshi’?” he therefore asked, shaking his head in a mixture of dismay and amusement when she gave him a firm nod. However, another mischievous thought crossed his mind, and he grinned again. “What do I have to do to make you lose the ‘sunbae’ suffix, then?”

Seohyeon pursed her lips in deep thought, going through her own set of rules in her head as she did so. “Haven’t I told you before that you would have to either be my family member, my best friend, or my boyfriend for me to actually call you by only your name?” she said, completely unaware about the gravity of her words.

Shin-il was fast to pick up the important point in her sentence, however, and a smirk pulled up on the corner of his lips. “Well then, maybe I should put forth my proposal just to try my luck?” he mused, completely enjoying how confused she looked at his words.

“Wait, what is this about again?” she blurted.

“About you dropping the ‘sunbae’ suffix. Since it’s impossible for me to be a part of your family, and I’m not interested in being only your best friend, so I’m asking whether I can date you instead,” the man replied coolly, watching her with deep interest in anticipation for her reactions.

As expected, Seohyeon flushed a deep shade of red at his proposition, and began chucking her stationery into her pencil case. “Don’t joke around, sunbae. This isn’t something that you should speak about lightly,” she huffed, feeling completely flustered at the turn of events. She wasn’t good at handling such circumstances, especially when Min-ae wasn’t around to help her out of it.

Shin-il observed her in amusement as she packed up everything on the table in record speed. He was already used to seeing situations like this unfolding whenever Seohyeon started to panic. He realised that it was one of the ways she subconsciously employed to escape from an unfavourable position, yet he said nothing about it.

She looked adorable doing so.

“Where exactly do you plan on going?” he asked the moment she slung her backpack over her shoulders, effectively preventing her from walking away. She whipped around with a questioning look on her face, though her cheeks were still in a deep shade of red. She was evidently still hung over the previous incident.

Such an innocent girl, he wondered to himself, a smile playing on his lips as he waited for a reply.

“I’m heading back to my dorm room. I don’t think I can stand the coldness of the library anymore. I forgot to bring my sweater along today,” she said, though her mannerisms betrayed her words. Shin-il had observed enough girls to know that she was being incredibly nervous at the moment.

He had half the mind to tease her further, but decided against it in the end. He didn’t want to risk getting into her bad books. “Then in that case, do you mind if I asked another question before you leave?”

Seohyeon quirked an eyebrow at him. “Um, sure, go ahead,” she replied hesitantly, her grip tightening around the books in her arms. The way the older man was smiling at her was deeply unsettling.

However, she swore that her mind went blank at the next sentence that left his lips.

“If you have the time, would you be so kind to allow me to bring you out on a date tonight?” he had asked.

* * * * *

Min-ae watched on in dismay as her roommate paced around the room without showing any signs of stopping. She had been at it since the moment she had returned to their shared dorm with a flustered expression, though Seohyeon said nothing about the matter that was bothering her.

The only other time that Min-ae had seen her friend in such a state of disarray was when she was trying to decide which major she would take in university. It automatically indicated that she was pondering about a hefty decision she had to make – or probably had made.

Feeling concerned about her best friend, Min-ae heaved a sigh and hopped off the bed, determined to get to the root of the problem. She quietly walked up to the still-pacing Seohyeon, and wrapped her arms around the shorter girl’s waist to halt her in her steps. It was the most effective way she could think of, having tried many other methods in the few years they had been friends.

Much to her relief, Seohyeon took note of her gesture and remained in her position, though the fretful expression was still plastered on her face.

“Breathe, Hyeon,” the blonde commanded with a gentle tone, her arms still snaked around the girl’s middle. “What’s wrong? It’s unusual for you to be so restless,” she cooed again.

For as long as she had known Seohyeon, she hardly saw the latter getting angry or does anything else excessively. Seohyeon was a rather soft-spoken girl with a kind personality and an adequate amount of self-confidence, so it really wasn’t too difficult for someone to like her. However, when she starts acting out of her norm, Min-ae knew for sure that something wasn’t quite right.

Her best friend took heed of her advice, breathing in several deep gulps in order to calm herself down before she leaned into Min-ae’s embrace. “I’m sorry, I guess I shouldn’t have freaked out so much,” she said, flashing an apologetic smile at her roommate.

“Right you are,” the blonde huffed jokingly. “Seriously though, did something happen at the library? It’s not like you to be so flustered over something that doesn’t hold a huge bearing on your life.”

Seohyeon sighed at the question. It wasn’t really a matter which she would like to discuss about with her best friend, for the sole reason that Min-ae would be less than happy whenever a certain someone’s name was mentioned. Then again, now that the query had been put forth, there wasn’t much of a possibility for her to escape from it by shrugging it off. She was nevertheless determined to test her luck.

“It’s… I don’t think it’s a big deal… I was just being silly over a date, that’s all,” Seohyeon therefore mumbled, laughing a little at her own words.

Despite having agreed to go on a date with Shin-il, Seohyeon actually did not know what had compelled her to do so. All she remembered was that she had said ‘yes’ without giving it any further thoughts, then turned scarlet and literally scampered out of the library out of his sights when she realised what had just happened.

She couldn’t believe that she was going on an actual date with the good-looking senior who had captivating brown eyes. Although Seohyeon tried desperately to convince herself that it was just another regular hangout session, some part of her was convicted that this was distinctly different from her past encounters with him.

“You have a date?!” Min-ae exclaimed in great surprise. Seohyeon thought that her friend’s grip around her waist tightened up almost painfully at the information, though a split second later, the force that was holding her in place completely dissipated. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier that you’re going on a date?!” the taller of the pair blurted again, evidently taken aback by the situation.

“Min, chill,” Seohyeon grounded out, turning around to face her best friend for the first time that day. “Someone just asked me out barely an hour ago. Like I’ve said before, it really isn’t something to go ballistic over.”

“Are you kidding me?” Min-ae deadpanned, looking at her as though she was out of her mind, though her expressions turned dark moments later when she caught on to the hidden agenda. “You’re going out with that Yoon Shin-il person, aren’t you?” she asked. Seohyeon was like an open book sometimes, especially in situations like this.

As Min-ae had suspected, the other girl cleared her throat sheepishly and averted her gaze at the mention of the name. The blonde couldn’t help but sigh. “Hyeon… I don’t mean to control you or something, but I’ve told you this before – you shouldn’t get too close to people like him. You’re going to end up hurt if you play with fire.”

Seohyeon snapped up to look at Min-ae, feeling rather displeased by her friend’s words. Even though Min-ae was her best friend, she still could not tolerate the fact that she was passing judgements about the other friends she chose to make, Shin-il included. “How can you say that so easily, Min? You don’t even know him that well,” she defended.

“Then do you really understand him perfectly?” the blonde shot back, upset that her best friend was actually raising her voice at her because of some man which she had barely known for less than three months.

“I’m getting there, but he doesn’t have any ill intentions. I can vouch for that,” Seohyeon insisted, staring at Min-ae defiantly. She was determined to make the taller girl understand that she was no longer a child, and could take care of herself just fine. She appreciated the concern, but this was just too much.

Min-ae glared at her with an equal intensity, though nothing left her lips until several tense moments had passed.

“It’s up to you then. Do whatever you please. I’m not going to bother about you any longer,” she concluded, before storming past Seohyeon and out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

It wasn’t until then that Seohyeon collapsed onto the floor, suddenly feeling extremely exhausted by everything she had been through on that particular day. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

* * * * *

He whistled to the tune of an unnamed song he had heard on the radio as he headed back to his dorm room, satisfied with how his day had turned out to be.

To be completely honest with himself, he had never expected that the girl who was one year his junior would agree to go out on a date with him. She seemed to be the reserved type who would approach a member of the opposite gender with caution, and her lack of reluctance when he had put forth the question came as a surprise to him.

Then again, even if she were to reject him, he would have found another way to get her to go out with him anyway.

However, he vividly remembered how confused he was when Seohyeon had said ‘yes’, mainly because his heart did a weird flip at her answer. The word ‘overjoyed’ couldn’t even describe his feelings properly, and it freaked him out slightly. Shin-il was quick to push those thoughts out of his head, though, and was determined to give her a night to remember.

It was probably the first time that he did not end with a home run at the end of the night after going out on a date with a girl. He had to admit that it was a refreshing change.

Nevertheless, he was a little worried when Seohyeon had finally appeared at their designated meeting spot. She looked gorgeous, that he couldn’t deny, but something about the smile on her face alarmed him. It seemed as though she was upset, but was just putting on a forced smile so as to not ruin the night.

Shin-il managed to pry the precise reason out of Seohyeon over dinner, however. As he had suspected, the girl’s best friend found out about their date, and blew up in her face because of it. It took him quite a lot of effort to actually be able to convince Seohyeon that Min-ae was probably just tired from doing her assignments, and was in a cranky mood because of them.

Only then did Seohyeon finally put on a sincere smile and engaged in a lively conversation with him.

A string of muffled, colourful curses rumbled from his throat when something hard hit him square in his forehead the moment he opened the door to his dorm room. He was completely prepared to tackle the offender to oblivion, only to remember that no one else was supposed to be in his room. That was when a frowning Hyukjae came into full view when he flicked on the lights, causing Shin-il to go wide-eyed.

“Took you long enough to get your ass back here, Shin,” Hyukjae growled. Judging by the messy head of hair, Shin-il deduced that his friend had probably fallen asleep in the room earlier.

“Hyuk? What the hell are you doing here? It’s almost midnight,” Shin-il frowned as he kicked the door shut behind him, before dragging himself across the room and dropped face-down onto his own bed. It was only then did he realise how exhausted he was.

“Damn right you are, Shin. It’s almost midnight, where the hell have you been?” he shot back. “I’ve been waiting for you for the entire night!”

At that, Shin-il looked genuinely surprised. Hyukjae would usually ring him up beforehand if he wanted to hang out with him, but he didn’t remember having received any calls from the idol group member at all. “Was I supposed to chill out with you tonight?” he blurted, earning a loud groan from his friend.

“You ass. I asked you to help me out with one of the subjects last week, and we promised to go through the topic today because lectures were supposed to end early. Did you seriously forget about it?”

Shin-il grinned guiltily at Hyukjae at that. “Guilty as charged. I’m sorry, man. I was just preoccupied with something else and the entire matter slipped off my mind,” he said, aiming a salute at his friend.

“More like you were busy with someone else of the opposite gender,” Hyukjae huffed, his intonation taking a sleepier tone this time. He knew he was right when Shin-il made a funny noise into his sheets. “Finally hit the home run?” he then snickered.

“Actually, no,” came the reply, and Hyukjae did a double take before springing up in his position.

“Did I hear that right?” he queried. “What, did the girl reject you at the final base or something?”

Shin-il turned to make a face at Hyukjae, before planting his face into the sheets again. “Yes, you heard that right, and no, she did not reject me. I didn’t even get it on with her.”

“Is this really Yoon Shin-il I’m talking to?” Hyukjae said, sounding extremely amazed at the situation. His friend would never leave a girl’s room without taking a single piece of clothing off – either on his part, or on the girl’s part – until today, that is.

In fact, there was only one other event where Shin-il did not jump on the girl after taking her out on a date.

“Shut up, Hyuk. Don’t you start going Donghae all over me,” he replied in a joking manner, though slightly distracted by his thoughts. “Go to sleep, you’re spending the night aren’t you?”

“That doesn’t sound right,” Hyukjae laughed sleepily, then mumbled something incoherent before he allowed the sleep to claim him. However, at the back of his mind, he thought that the girl whom his roommate had gone out on a date with wasn’t like any other girl. Shin-il would be in trouble if he doesn’t realise what was going on soon.

Stuck With You - Chapter 32

2011-12-21T09:00:00.000+08:00

Chapter 32

The woman looked on grimly through the tiny gap at the door, shaking her head in a disappointed manner as she watched the lone figure puffing away at a stick of cigarette. She never thought that she would witness such a scene ever again for the rest of her life, but the sight she was beholding evidently proved her wrong.

Promises would always be broken. Why should she feel so surprised again?

Just as she was about to turn on her heels to leave, the person’s voice spoke up and halted her in her steps. “I know you’re there, ma. What do you want?”

The older woman frowned at the question aimed at her, pushing past the door to gain access into the room. She scrunched her nose in disgust at the stench of the cigarette smoke lingering in the air, and wasn’t the least bit hesitant in marching straight for the window before flinging it open in one angry motion.

Nevertheless, even before she had the opportunity to speak her mind, the woman who was seated on the bed – this time lighting a new stick of cigarette – grunted in annoyance. “What was that for, ma? I prefer my windows shut tight,” she remarked, as she exhaled a puff of smoke in a haughty manner.

“Well I certainly don’t care if you’re trying to kill yourself by staying cooped up in this disgusting, smog-filled room,” the older woman snarled, one of her hands moving to shield her airways so that she could at least have some proper oxygenation in the very stuffy room. “But as long as you have the audacity to call me ‘ma’ and continue living under my roof, I demand that you put a stop to this nonsense!” she then raised her voice, feeling every bit upset that her daughter was acting in such a way.

The obedient girl whom she had last seen two weeks ago had disappeared without a trace, and it scared her immensely.

To her surprise, her daughter actually scoffed at her words moments later. “Why should I? Is there a need to do so?” she smirked as she turned to look at her mother. The older woman stared in horror as her daughter proceeded to open up a can of beer, chugging its contents down without a care.

“You should know very well that there are people who are watching your actions, even if you’re not in the city. You’re a celebrity; you have an image to keep. You promised that you would quit all this nonsense if you could earn a living by singing,” the older one of the pair said through clenched teeth, hands trembling by her sides in a failing effort to prevent herself from doing something that she would probably regret.

“I know what I’ve promised, ma. But seriously, under the current circumstances, do you think I can still make an appearance in the entertainment world pretending as though nothing had happened?” she laughed mirthlessly, eyes glazed over from the alcohol and nicotine as she continued to observe her mother. “I may be a child in your eyes, but I’m not stupid, ma. They know everything now; what makes you think that I can slip back in unnoticed?” she further challenged.

“Time can dilute everything. The masses will forget about everything eventually. But if you fall back into your old lifestyle, I am sure that everyone will bring it up repeatedly and you’ll never hear the end of it,” the older woman snapped again, finding it increasingly difficult to keep her composure. “You can convince them that you’ve changed for the better, that you’ve thrown everything behind. This is not going to help you.”

She was extremely dismayed that her daughter was ruining her life in such a manner. Mrs. Lin had thought that Huiying would become more sensible after experiencing a hefty lesson in the past, but it seems that one major setback was more than adequate to make her revert to her long-forgotten life. When she could feel traces of resentment bubbling within her at a certain someone who played the biggest role in triggering all of this negativity within her daughter, she chewed on her inner cheek to chase those thoughts away.

No one but Huiying should be blamed for her own fragile faith, weak resolution, and less-than-stellar coping mechanisms.

Nevertheless, it seems that her daughter had failed to pick up the hint that she was unhappy with her, as the young woman continued uttering the very words that cut her up deep inside. “You may think so, but I’ve been there. I know what’s going to happen; people are still going to remember about it ten, twenty years down the line. My career as a singer is ruined, ma. Just be glad that all I’m picking up again are cigarettes,” she declared haughtily, not feeling the least bit remorseful at her actions.

Huiying found herself clutching her cheek with tears in her eyes seconds later, however, where a stinging pain radiated from under her palm. She raised her gaze just in time to see her mother slamming the door with a great force, only to realise that she had just been slapped by someone that could probably be the only person in the world who still cared about her.

The guilt washed over her, bringing the warm, salty tears along with it. It was really difficult to put up an act in front of someone she loved dearly, but she had no choice.

* * * * *

"I've missed you so much," she breathed as she enveloped the tall man in an embrace. When she pulled away from him moments later, she took the time to scrutinise his expressions, frowning at the sight she beheld. "You look horrible, Mi."

The man chuckled softly in response at the comment, awkwardly running a hand through his hair before he invited her to take a seat. "Life's been tough Ri. I’ve been busy with the album promotions and filming activities too," he shrugged, taking a sip of the Long Black in front of him. He instantly sobered up slightly when the caffeine kicked into his senses.

"You seem to be implying that Kyuhyun's being lazy," she laughed heartily, eyes crinkling in amusement. "He doesn't seem half as exhausted as you are, even though he’s doing the same activities as you are."

"That's not what I mean, Ri-" he immediately tried to explain himself, though she shook her head to indicate that she was only joking. Zhou Mi visibly relaxed at that reassurance. "What are you doing here in Taiwan, though? I wasn’t told that you were around," he then asked, feeling perplexed at how his friend's girlfriend had suddenly asked him out.

"He doesn't know," she confessed with a small grin. "I haven't told him yet."

Zhou Mi's eyes widened in surprise, then a cheeky smile played on his lips. "I'm going to have to be bribed to keep this a secret then. The boy misses you like hell, and I don't think I can bear to see him staring at his phone all day long complaining how it lacks a video-calling function," he laughed.

The Super Junior-M members were currently in Taiwan to carry out the promotional activities for their new album, and would be staying in the country for two months. In the short span of a week, Kyuhyun had already started to whine about how he misses his girlfriend, much to everyone else's dismay. Zhou Mi was, of course, the one who was sought out by Kyuhyun the most, despite the fact that the older man wasn't in such a stellar mood to discuss about relationship-related matters.

"That's quite alright, I plan to see him after this anyway," Jin Ri countered smoothly, not feeling particularly bothered by the Chinese man’s attempt at blackmailing her. "How's Sungmin oppa, by the way?"

"Still sulking off-camera," the Chinese man answered darkly, staring off in a completely different direction. Jin Ri bit her lip when she sensed the tense atmosphere, but was determined to get the most out of this meeting anyway.

"You're still not on talking terms, huh?" she enquired, only to receive a noncommittal grunt from the man seated across her. She sighed. "Are you ever going to speak to him?"

"No," came the instant answer. "Not anytime soon, at least," he admitted, face still slightly sour.

Although they seemed to be amiable on-screen, Zhou Mi would often attempt to reduce his interactions with Sungmin when they were off the job. Everyone else who worked with them could sense their animosity, but no one said a thing about it. It wasn't something that they could meddle in easily, especially when neither party would divulge a single detail about it.

"Have you ever tried talking to him, to understand why he did that?" Jin Ri smiled wryly. It hurt her to see her friends being involved in a cold war; it was an awkward sight to see.

"After he dumped Huiying at the press conference? In full view of those reporters but without her in sight or having prior knowledge about what he was about to do? It's not fair for her to be treated in such a manner, not even if he found out in advance about her past!" he commented sarcastically.

Immediately after the press conference a couple of weeks ago, Zhou Mi was able to catch up to the older man and initiated a confrontation. Much to his surprise, Sungmin threw an envelope at him and asked him to take a look at its contents. The taller one of the pair flipped through the pieces of paper in horror, unable to wrap his head around the sudden influx of information regarding the person he thought he knew.

She did not show any signs of being such a person at all, and he refused to believe that she was like that.

“Like I said, did you attempt to understand the reasons behind his actions? I’m sure that Sungmin isn’t such a horrible person,” she tried to coax him again, hoping that Zhou Mi could at least give his group member a chance to redeem himself.

He was having none of that, however. “After that one incident, I don’t think I’d be surprised anymore if the people around me started to show me their true sides,” he muttered.

Jin Ri let out another sigh at his stubbornness, realising that there was nothing she could do when he refused to listen. She would have to make another attempt at some other time. “It’s entirely up to you then; I won’t stick my nose any further into this matter,” she conceded defeat, though she gasped in a startled manner when she remembered that there was something else she was supposed to do.

Zhou Mi looked up curiously when Jin Ri began to rummage around her bag for something. He frowned even more when she produced a folder and handed it over to him. He looked at the object cautiously, wondering what it contained. After receiving that envelope from Sungmin two weeks ago, he began to be more apprehensive about such items.

“What is this?” he therefore asked, eyes seeking hers for an answer. She didn’t seem to have any intentions in hiding anything however, as a soft smile took over her features.

“Kyuhyun told me you were being rather desperate in digging for Huiying’s whereabouts. This folder contains all the information you would ever need. It’s entirely up to you whether you want to believe in it or not,” Jin Ri enlightened him, causing his eyes to widen in surprise.

“But how–”

“I just happen to have a particularly influential uncle who can pull quite a few strings whenever he desires. Just take this as a gift from me,” she winked at him, before picking up her bag again. “I’d love to stick around longer to catch up with you, but unfortunately I have to go, Mi. I’ll see you around when you’re back in Korea, alright?” Jin Ri then added, pulling him into a hug again.

“Thanks, Ri. I don’t know what I’m going to do without your help,” he breathed, a sincere smile gracing his lips for the first time in a long while as he released his hold on her.

“You have lots of time to think about how you should repay me for this favour,” she joked, waving as she made her way towards the cashier to settle their bill.

She fished out her phone moments later, keying the words ‘mission accomplished, you better give me a huge treat when I see you tonight’ rapidly into her phone before hitting the send button.

* * * * *

“Are these the things that you have promised to provide me with?” the man in sunglasses said smugly as he accepted the heavily-padded envelope from the woman seated across him. His heart raced at the prospect that he would have some huge scoop to write about again.

The woman laughed. “Are you seriously asking me that after I had provided you with the inside news about that woman’s smoking and drug-addiction habits, Mingjun?” she mused. “You’re practically famous in the paparazzi world right now because you have information on a scandal that no one had expected to read or know about.”

“That’s true,” he concurred with a smirk. The man dipped his hand into the envelope with a gleeful look on this face, picking out the small pendrive from within. He observed the object in between his fingers, wondering what exciting new information it held. It was godsend to have such helpful informants who worked closely with the celebrities.

What made it better was the fact that this particular woman used to date one of the artists in question. She was definitely driven by revenge for being scorned by her ex-boyfriend, but Mingjun really couldn’t care less about her actual intentions. It was all good for him if he could earn big bucks out of writing about scandals like these.

He looked around in surprise when a hand suddenly swooped down from behind him and snatched the pendrive out of his grip. He whipped his head around, only to be met with the sight of an unknown man who was visibly fuming. However, he also noticed that the anger wasn’t directed at him, but rather at someone else who was with him.

He wasn’t about to let something so precious slip out of his hands though.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?!” he therefore yelled, thinking that it was some competitor from the news industry. The reporter stood up apprehensively, only to be forced back into his seat almost effortlessly on the other man’s part when the latter applied some force on his shoulder.

“I have no business with you,” the man growled at Mingjun. “And neither do you have the right to gain hold of this information,” he then added, thrusting the pendrive in the reporter’s face before pocketing it.

“Zhiming, baby, what a surprise! I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” the woman cooed, flashing a saccharine smile at the newcomer’s direction as she moved to wrap her arms around his neck. He disinterestedly stepped out of the way, curling his fingers around her wrist instead.

“Stop playing games, Jingxi,” he snarled. “Follow me; we need to talk.”

* * * * *

The woman struggled against the man’s grip as he pulled her along with him to a secluded park, wincing every now and then when the pain shot through her senses. The more she resisted against his actions, the tighter his hold around her wrist became. She was on the brink of tears by the time he almost mercilessly flung her onto the wooden bench.

“What the hell is wrong with you Zhiming?!” Jingxi hissed at the man while massaging her sore wrist, sending a scathing look in said person’s direction when she noticed the purplish red strangulation mark covering her skin.

“You are the reason behind what’s wrong,” he spat angrily. It actually made her afraid for once; she had never seen this side of the man before, not even when he was being aggressive in bed. There was something in his intonation that chilled her to the bones. His anger was for real, and he probably wasn’t going to be coaxed out of it easily.

She frowned. “What do you mean by that? What have I done?”

“Are you still trying to feign innocence, Jingxi?” Zhiming laughed mirthlessly, shaking his head in disbelief. “I was stupid to have allowed you to hand such classified information over to the reporter once, but I’m not going to let you do it again. I won’t allow you to sugar-coat your words to make me say something that I should not any longer.”

At this point of time, it was her turn to laugh at his words. “Don’t you think it’s a little too late for that, Zhiming? Can’t you see that I’m trying to help you get her back for you as well? You can just waltz back into her arms at the lowest point of her life and charm the pants off of her. Isn’t that a perfect plan?” she sneered, remembering what he had told her after one of their love-making sessions. He was desperate, and she merely made use of that to her own advantage.

“This is not the way to do things, Jingxi. Do you honestly think that she wouldn’t suspect that the information came from me? I was the one who had been with her through it all apart from her mother. There isn’t a need for her to even guess. Your actions would only serve to drive her further away from me.”

“Then it’s not really my problem,” she shrugged. “All I intend to do is to get Zhou Mi back into my life. I don’t care about anything else.”

“Can you just stop being selfish for once, Fu Jingxi?” Zhiming raised his voice, seemingly on the verge of aiming a slap across her face. He reeled back just in time to put enough distance between the two of them. “When a relationship is over, it’s over. Stop harping over it all the damn time.”

“You’re one to talk,” she scoffed at the irony of his words, but was duly ignored by the man.

“He knows you’re the one who has been releasing all these pieces of information to the media,” he pointed out, reminding her about that one time that Zhou Mi had walked right up to her hotel room and demanded for her to stay out of his life. “Do you think he would return to you like a obedient little lamb? You’re delusional.”

Jingxi narrowed her eyes at Zhiming’s comments, and lashed out angrily at him. She didn’t want to accept the fact; it wasn’t true. There must be some way she could tie down Zhou Mi’s heart again. She had to do it. “Even if I can’t get him back, I need to at least exact my revenge on that bitch for ruining our relationship. We were fine before she came along!”

Zhiming snapped his eyes shut and took in several deep breaths, willing himself not to lose his cool.

“You need to learn how to stop blaming others when things don’t go your way. You were the one who singlehandedly ruined your own relationship by getting involved in all these flings – including the ones before me,” he said quietly, recalling about the time he had the opportunity to have a private conversation with Zhou Mi, just days before the press conference that changed it all.

The singer apparently knew about the things Jingxi had been doing behind his back; he was only waiting for her to change her ways. But seeing her getting involved in yet another fling with Zhiming was the last straw for him.

“What do you know about me?” she hissed venomously.

“Trust me, I know everything. You should stop with all this nonsense before I turn you in to the authorities,” Zhiming therefore warned, walking away from the woman he no longer wanted to be associated with before she could say anything else.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

A/N: The lovely Jin Ri belongs to none other than taengoo123 ^^♥

Love After Love - Chapter 29

2011-12-20T18:03:00.001+08:00

Chapter 29

“Sweetheart, do you want more apples? I’ll cut one more up if you’d like to eat them,” he smiled as he fed her the last slice of apple on the plate. She shook her head slightly at the question, face as emotionless as it had ever been since close to two weeks ago.

“Are you already full?”

A shake of her head.

“Were the apples sweet enough?”

A nod.

He inadvertently let out a dismayed sigh at the absence of any form of verbal response. Turning around to place the now-empty plate on the bedside table, Jungsoo's smile fell ever so slightly at the lack of reaction coming from his wife. But then again, it wasn't something that he wasn't already used to by now.

Angie had remained pensive ever since he had informed her about the loss of their baby, seemingly living locked up in her own world. For the first few nights since the incident, she couldn't sleep well at all, sometimes waking up in hysterics, and others, screaming in vain for someone to give her back the baby.

Jungsoo had witnessed it all, having spent every single day by her side with barely any sleep to get him through the hours. The number of times she had to be calmed down with the use of tranquilising drugs were uncountable, something which he very much disliked but couldn’t utter a single word about it. Words exerted absolutely no calming effect on her, despite coming from Jungsoo’s or her mother’s lips.

Needless to say, his heart literally shattered into pieces – both at the sight of his distraught wife, and the thoughts that he could not even carry their bundle of joy in his own arms. Everything that they had been looking forward to for the past nine months went down the drain in the blink of an eye.

The heartbreaking thoughts couldn’t even be compared to the time where he had to force himself to break up with her after that falsely created fling was splashed all across the papers. His free hand immediately clenched tightly into a fist at that.

"The boys are on..." his wife's voice, familiar yet foreign to him because of the scarcity of her speech, suddenly spoke up while Jungsoo was still preoccupied with rearranging the belongings on the tabletop in order to make some space for the plate. He had some trouble with it as his hands were trembling too much from his attempts to suppress his inner feelings.

He smiled widely in response when he heard those words, feeling happy that she was at least making some effort to talk now. Previously she would just nod or shake her head in response to other questions, her mouth always pressed into a thin line. Deciding that he would bother about the plate later, Jungsoo placed it on an available surface before he settled himself next to Angie on the bed.

His heart calmed down considerably when she automatically snuggled closer to him the moment he put his arms around her, something which she had not done in a while. Jungsoo glanced downwards in surprise when Angie moved to grasp his hand, which was placed neatly on her lap. He vaguely wondered whether her mood was finally turning for the better, but thought nothing more of it. This was more than what he was hoping for, after being close to shunned away for the past week.

Jungsoo heaved a small sigh as he watched his group members perform the choreography on stage through the television screen – without him. Super Junior was making their comeback performance on Music Bank today, and despite the fact that he was reluctant to disappoint the fans by pulling out of all of the promotional activities for their newest album, he made the announcement with a heavy heart on the company’s official website.

To him, there was nothing that was more important than supporting his wife when she needed him most.

Of course, Jungsoo had also informed their fans about the unfortunate accident, leaving out most of the details and only told them about the loss of his baby with Angie. Although he was initially toying with the idea of not saying anything about it, he eventually came to realise that someone was going to bring up the question about his baby’s wellbeing sooner or later. There was no way he could run away from the query.

The fans were shocked and the media was in an uproar because of that, but he declined to make any further comments. There wasn’t much of a point for everyone to know everything else that had happened. He didn’t want to come across as someone who desperately sought for attention and pity.

Thankfully, his company came to his aid, asking the media personnel to stay away from Jungsoo and his family because they were going through difficult times. They definitely weren’t too hesitant in requesting assistance from the police force, as they had subtly hinted in the official statement which was issued moments after Jungsoo’s own announcement.

“Jungsoo… shouldn’t you be there…?” Angie’s meek voice spoke up again, still sounding rather hoarse from the disuse. He turned to smile briefly at her and shook his head, before planting a soft kiss on her forehead.

“It’s alright, sweetheart. The guys and the fans all understand that I can’t stand on stage right now,” he replied softly, as though the vibrations from his words would shatter the fragile doll in his arms if it were any louder.

“But… it’s your dream, isn’t it? You’ve worked hard for the past few months for this…” she said again, propping herself up slightly so that she could lean against his shoulder. Jungsoo sighed in content when her arms wrapped around his waist. He was delighted that Angie was slowly coming out of her own shell, and seemed to be returning into her old self again.

Nevertheless, he reminded himself to remain vigilant with his words. He wasn’t too sure whether Angie was finally coming to terms with the loss of their baby, so he still had to skirt around the matter carefully. Then there was this other matter about Shimhyun’s death.

“What are you talking about, silly?” Jungsoo laughed lightly, pinching her nose in a loving manner. “It may have been my dream to perform on stage and entertain others when I first started out, but somewhere along the way, living happily with you has turned into my dream, Angie.”

“That’s not very possible now, is it?” Angie said in a whisper, just as Jungsoo congratulated his friends on a job well done by the end of their comeback track, despite the fact that they couldn’t hear him anyway.

“I’m sorry, were you saying something?” her husband turned to look at her when he had gotten over his initial ecstasy, though Angie shook her head with a thin smile playing on her lips.

“It’s nothing,” she replied, before glancing at the bedside table when she noticed some slight movement on it. “Don’t you think you should send the plate back to the pantry, love? The ants are going to swarm all over it soon…” Angie prompted again, causing Jungsoo to look over as well.

“You’re right,” Jungsoo easily agreed, hopping off the bed in one swift motion. He pulled his wife in to plant a chaste kiss on her lips, smiling briefly at her before he grabbed the plate. “Wait here for a short moment, alright? I’ll be right back.”

Angie responded with a smile of her own, cupping his cheek in order to give him some form of reassurance that she was going to be fine. “I won’t be going anywhere, love. Don’t worry about me.”

* * * * *

He had a slight frown on his face as he made his way towards the wards, not knowing what was making him feel incredibly uneasy. The feeling had started to escalate the moment he had left the private room that housed his wife, and had been nagging at him since.

Earlier, while he was returning the plate he had borrowed from the ward’s pantry, the ringtone of his phone suddenly blared from the pocket of his jeans. That caused him to receive plenty of disapproving stares from the nurses who were on a short break, as he was supposed to leave his phone on silent mode while in the hospital. He was then diverted to the main entrance of the hospital by one of the nurses, asking him to answer his call at another location to avoid disturbing the other patients, to which he obliged.

Little did he expect that the other Super Junior members would delay his return that much, considering how each of them were clamouring to talk to him over the phone after their Music Bank stage. Youngwoon was, of course, one of those who hogged the phone for the longest period of time, the other being Hyukjae and Donghae.

It wasn’t until Jungsoo politely excused himself that he was able to escape from the seemingly endless conversation, though that did not stop his friends from telling (shouting over the phone, actually) him that they would be at the hospital as soon as they were able to wriggle themselves out of their remaining schedules. There was nothing he could do to hold them off, really – neither did he want to do so. He was sure that Angie would be glad to see them after watching their performance earlier.

Needless to say, he broke into a brisk walk the moment he had pocketed his phone, eager to return to Angie’s side. Although she had made a promise with him to remain in her room, and despite the fact that he didn’t want to doubt her words, he just couldn’t put his mind off the matter. Jungsoo had also learned to trust his instincts – especially when Angie was involved in the equation – because he didn’t want to be awash with regrets. Again.

His blood froze when he had finally arrived at the ward, because a loud commotion could be heard reverberating through the usually-quiet air. The other patients who were well enough to be walking around could be seen poking their heads out of their rooms, probably wondering what was all the noise about. Several nurses were also sending worried glances at each other, communicating silently to avoid alarming the other patients even more.

But Jungsoo didn’t need to be told to know that it was coming from Angie’s room. The tell-tale screams and shouts were more than enough proof of it.

Without wasting another second, he broke into a run in the direction of the private ward, all while praying hard that his wife was alright. He was shocked beyond belief to see Angie being restrained on her bed by two other nurses. Her slender fingers were meanwhile wrapped tightly around the hilt of a fruit knife, which was used to cut up the apple earlier. It suddenly dawned on him that he had forgotten all about the cutlery when he returned the plate to the pantry.

His panic-stricken eyes followed Angie’s line of vision, who was casting a hatred-filled glare at someone in the hidden corner of the room while shouting something incoherent. That was when he realised that a familiar face had paid his wife a visit, and was currently being tended to by a nurse who was trying to control the bleeding.

“I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU OR YOUR BROTHER!” his wife shouted again moments later, making Jungsoo snap out of his daze. He immediately took charge of the situation, taking the position of one of the nurses and wrapped his arms protectively around Angie’s body. The other nurse who was trying to wrest the sharp object out of Angie’s hand remained in her spot, thereby preventing her from lowering the knife and potentially injuring Jungsoo.

“LET ME GO!” she then turned to scream at the people who were holding her down.

“Stop it, sweetheart… I’m here; no one’s going to hurt you. I promise you, so please,” he whispered softly in her ear, hoping that it would at least calm her down a little. Being blinded with rage, she didn’t seem to have noticed that he was back in the room with her, and was still thrashing around on the bed.

Undeterred by the lack of reaction coming from his wife, Jungsoo repeated his words several times over, finally heaving a sigh of relief when the sound of metal clashing against the floor tiles was registered in his senses.

* * * * *

“It’s just a superficial skin wound, nothing too serious. I’ve managed to at least stop the bleeding now, but it’ll need some stitches to actually make sure that it’ll heal well,” the doctor explained as he worked on the woman’s injury that spanned several centimetres over the back of her arm. She hissed painfully when the antiseptic-soaked gauze came into contact with her skin, which was slit open by the knife which grazed across her skin earlier.

He watched on emotionlessly from the side as the doctor fussed around the wound even more. The woman who was seated on the examination couch hissed again when the other man injected some substance – presumably local anaesthetics – close to her wound, before proceeding to stitch it up meticulously.

When the doctor was finally done minutes later, he looked up and nodded politely at the man who was leaning against the wall of the treatment room, quietly taking his leave without saying anything else. The woman stilled in her position while wiping the silent tears away from her eyes, finally noticing the fair-skinned man for the first time that afternoon.

“What are you doing here?” she therefore asked, narrowing her eyes in suspicion at him. She couldn’t fathom why he should be here, watching her getting her wound dressed when he should be somewhere else instead.

“Don’t you think I should be the one asking you that question instead, Yejin?” he shot back darkly.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m here to visit a friend who is unwell,” she smiled, though something in her mannerisms sent a chill down Jungsoo’s spine. She was definitely being thoroughly sarcastic, and he didn’t like it at all.

“What did you do in Angie’s room earlier?” Jungsoo growled, not feeling particularly in the mood to entertain the woman who was obviously the cause of his wife’s nervous breakdown. He had just observed the process of yet another dose of tranquiliser being administered to Angie after all, and it remained as heartbreaking as the last. He could only excuse himself from the room when his mother-in-law had arrived to take over his place.

“Why don’t you take a wild guess?” a smirked played on her lips, though the façade was promptly wiped off her visage when the Super Junior leader slammed his already-bruised fist against the cupboard door. She looked positively shaken by now – the exact same expression she had worn when she was still in Angie’s room.

“I can’t reassure you that I can stay perfectly calm any longer, so I would honestly suggest that you stop playing games with me, Yejin,” he said through gritted teeth, eyes narrowed at her when he made sure that he had gained her attention and understanding. “Now answer me. What exactly are your intentions?”

Yejin chuckled softly at the question, this time devoid of any contempt. “I came here to apologise, but I guess I should’ve waited a little longer until her condition is a little more stable.”

“Is this because of your confession about trying to ruin our relationship?” Jungsoo queried sarcastically. Now that he was being reminded about the incident, his blood began to boil again.

“Yes, but that’s not all,” she admitted. “I lied about that.”

Jungsoo frowned. “I don’t understand, Yejin. Were you trying to drive us apart, or were you not?”

“I was, but I wasn’t telling her the truth back then when I said Jihye was behind everything. I’m the one who plotted all of this.”

“Why are you telling me this? Why now? Why at all? You could’ve gotten away with it, and have us think that Jihye was the culprit,” he blurted, feeling utterly confused about Yejin’s intentions. He wasn’t even sure whether she was telling the truth now.

The woman lowered her head in the face of the questions thrown at her, suddenly at a loss about what to say. She wasn’t sure how she should explain things, or how she was going to escape Jungsoo’s potential wrath unscathed. His temper was rather labile at the moment, and she didn’t really want to risk her neck. She wasn’t too keen in getting another set of injuries on top of the one on her arm.

She then heaved a sigh, thinking that she had to accomplish what she was here for. “Because I feel that my brother must have wanted to express his regrets, but couldn’t bring himself to do it in the end. I’m here to do it in his stead. Both his and mine.”

“Who’s your brother?” Jungsoo asked again, though he had a hunch of the exact words that would leave her lips.

“Moon Shimhyun.”

Memories from the past

2011-12-16T21:43:00.001+08:00

Gruesome practice hours.
Countless times of being scolded by the conductor.
Blistered fingers as a result of pressing the strings way too much.
Struggles through a large number of semiquavers.
The pain of having to follow beats as fast as Presto.
Beautiful music being played when everyone gets things right.
Exotic performance costumes.
Thick makeup for the sake of being visible to the audience.
Sweltering heat from the stage lights.
Thunderous applause from the audience who came to watch our concerts.
The sense of relief when you know you've done a good job at the end of it all.

I miss those days. I really do.

Mitch Albom - For One More Day

2011-12-16T15:33:00.001+08:00

To be quite honest, this is the first book I've actually picked up (and completed!) in a very long while. I've started reading many books this year, though unfortunately because of time constraints, I haven't been able to finish them up. And since the holidays are finally here, what better way to spend it than to curl up with a good book in hand, right? (Well, I was leaning towards the reality that I didn't want to be at the college listening to a bunch of random stuff, but let's just keep it at that, shall we?)

Anyway, back to the main point. Just like the other book Mitch Albom had written, Tuesdays with Morrie (as I had immensely came to like), For One More Day is yet another philosophical story that actually makes you think.

About what, you ask? It's mostly about life, regrets, and seeking forgiveness.

Death is probably something that's foreign to us, perhaps not for some others. To me, it's no stranger, having seen 3 of my grandparents pass away. Surely with the passing of a relative - regardless whether you're close to them or not - you would sorely miss them over the years. I'm no different.

Whenever I'm not occupied with various other responsibilities, I would stop to think.

Think about how our relationship could be different, had I done things in a different manner. What if I talked to them more? What if I tried to understand their background, their past much more than I actually do right now?

Of course, it's a little too late to regret what hasn't been done, now that they're gone. However, that doesn't mean you can't learn to appreciate the people who are alive, the people around you who are dear to you.

In the book, the main character, Charley 'Chick' Benetto had the opportunity to see his already-deceased mother, years after he had lied to her about having to work on the day after her birthday when in reality, he went to play baseball under his estranged father's request instead. He lived like a lost lamb after her passing, because his mother had been his pillar of strength through the years when his father left the family. In the end, because he couldn't take the pressure of his failing life any longer, he had decided to commit suicide.

His mother, of course, comes along to help him, to enlighten him that it's not late to turn back; it's not too late to make amendments.

This story really makes me reflect on the ways that I would act towards my parents, and it inspires me to be a better daughter when I have the opportunity to do so. No one can really predict what would happen in the future, and the best bet we could have is to grasp on tightly to each and every chance we get to ensure that our actions would not translate into regrets in the future.

Definitely a good read :)

♥

2011-12-15T00:49:00.001+08:00

Just spoke to grandma on the phone for a short while. Glad to hear that she's doing well in Canada ^^ I hope her PID isn't bothering her as much though.

2011-12-13T19:03:00.000+08:00

시간이 나면 가만히 눈을 감고 조용히 생각해 봐.

Bigger Dilemma

2011-12-13T00:02:00.000+08:00

Ah, this time it's not associated with my fandom or writing, but more towards my Electives posting which I'll be doing in April next year.

So the situation is like this. I've initially applied to do my electives in NUS, but because I was afraid that all my options would be rejected (as it happened to a friend of mine), so I submitted another application to our very own UM as well as a back-up in case anything happened.

More than a month ago, I received the offer from NUS for Neurology (not the main course I wanted to pursue with the university), and because I hadn't received any reply from UM for the longest time ever, I had since accepted the offer from NUS as the deadline was looming.

I thought I would definitely be going to NUS, then here comes the biggest surprise of the day.

I actually received an offer from UM to do Oncology (i.e. the course I really wanted to do...), and now I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what I should do. Either way, I would have to reject the offer from one of the universities ;A;

What should I do :C

Disgusting

2011-12-11T23:34:00.001+08:00

The amount of regard for the importance of human life is seriously close to non-existent these days. What is becoming of the younger generation?

You don't wish for someone to die just because they hail from a fandom you hate (probably without valid reasons too). You just don't.

Choosing Paths

2011-12-11T11:50:00.001+08:00

Sometimes it really does make one wonder, why exactly they have chosen to walk on this one path that, seemingly, probably ends up in the middle of nowhere.

No matter how strong your resolution was in the beginning, surely there'll be a time that you would waver in the middle of it.

Did you really choose the appropriate path?

Will this path make or break you?

I suppose one can only truly confirm what will become of them when they walk until the end. Anything can happen in between and change the course of your life, but surely that is the essence of living:

challenges and learning how to get through them (relatively) unscathed.

(Photo taken by eternalsnow [me, duh] at Freemantle, Western Australia.)

(Speaking of which, I should work on that long-overdue post on my travels to Western Australia back in August. After the exams it is.)